To not understand why anyone would buy these for a child (tech related)

[Gheesesndbuscuits]

I don’t understand why anyone would get their child an iPad or tablet. Especially under ten and while a toddler even!

I know this sounds like I think I’m superior having not done it, but however I asked the question it would have come across like that. I’m far from a perfect parent and rely on the tv far too much for childcare when I’m making dinner or need to drink my tea in peace.

But iPads and tablets I don’t get, they’re so interactive and addictive. I genuinely can’t understand why you’d get one for a child. Especially when there’s tv that is more passive (though I accept not good either!).

I’m a researcher in this area and tablets aren’t evil. Used well they can bring leaning benefits and family connectedness for children beyond the age of the transfer deficit. Ideally they should be used with a caregiver. Interactive media contains many learning benefits beyond passive TV. Don’t think this is better - it isn’t. Background TV is damaging to children’s language development.

The benefit of TV over iPads is that they can be a shared activity. I used to love watching Thomas the Tank Engine with the kids, then getting the Brio train set out and watching them re-create the stories.

It’s all about balance
ive seen kids 3-4yr olds ( school) who must be on them most of the weekends because Monday mornings were (awful) interesting , no clue what to do/play with , restless, taking things off others just for a reaction get to thur or fri and it’s lovely then the weekend comes and then it all starts again

Yes really here to, I have 4 children and they cannot all do their homework on my phone whilst I’m trying to work too. I have asked school not to but they keep telling me there’s “so much evidence” for these apps especially the gamification of times tables etc..

There were no pads when I was a kid. But there were other kids in my class whose parents didn't look after them properly, especially from some of the more rural villages. They were the equivalent of children who are left with screens from a young age and not engaged with, there have always been shit parents and there have always been over zealous carrot crunching mums. Most of us over 40 will remember the sad kid who didn't have a tv. Somewhere in the middle is a happy childhood surely? The non verbal comment was horrible, hopefully ignorance rather than spite.

I just want to add, during Covid (abroad) we had full time online school, the timetable was exactly the same, PE, registration, assembly, everything, normal school day. Secondary voted to change the timing to later in the day and they found that the engagement was very high, the later start had a massive impact. No worksheets, breaktimes had social rooms which were supervised by staff and the library lessons were so successful they still do holiday club and homework club online. When the war started in February, it was back to online learning and nobody batted an eyelid. Tech isnt evil, its a massive sign of progress and we should be proud of it, not sneering.

How do you attribute that solely to screens? I'd imagine the difficulty of being away from their primary caregivers after a weekend with their parents might be more of a factor - it was with my kids. Have you raised these issues with the parents?

My xH seems to get a real buzz out of buying tech. He always has the latest stuff himself and has always been keen to buy the kids new iPads/phones/laptops, sometimes impulsively and without prior discussion. It’s weird but it’s like a dopamine rush for him or something. I think he’s not alone.

We will have to buy our 5 year old a tablet this year. He doesn’t watch TV or have screens but the bloody school insist on doing homework this way from Y1.

Puzzles, games, Disney+…if they’re not sat in front of YouTube or TikTok then they are learning.

Same. We had to buy one for school homework when she was five.

Ipads can be a shared activity, just like tv can be a lone/lonely activity.
Like I said, me and DD played games together on the iPad. We also watched craft channels and got ideas of things to try, or recreated projects/activities. We watched critter based channels together . Etc.

As a kid I watched telly on my own a lot. Or if i watched with my parents , it was their shows/movies(sometimes completely inappropriate) . I had to be silent not to disturb them. No discussion or answering questions after , especially if it was inappropriate or not for my age, which was highly ironic.

Let’s be honest here a toddler plonked on the sofa or in a playpen for hours in front of the telly on their own, or on an iPad, isn’t any different or better. Parental engagement and how either device is used is what makes the difference.

You know that if you really want to, you can actually kick back against this, depending on what the homework is. Plus homework at primary doesn’t make THAT much of a difference. If they just put everything online, you can access the info and pass it on. If it’s about apps and things, you can do spelling, reading etc. with him at home. If you really want to.

I don’t think watching 15mins of tv or watching 15mins of the same show on an iPad is really any different. I know a lot of people who don’t have tvs

24 hour international journey with 2 under 4, one with autism, hth.

@Gheesesndbuscuits In my 60s (so my childhood was just about tv), regular child minding 3 family children under age of five. Also work with children who are neurodiverse.

With the two youngest, both sets of parents wanted screen-free environment. I do support them but admit that young children are tiring. A screen would entertain them. It would not be hard to put in rules such as: never on your own, only for half an hour, only specific programmes. It is a slippery slope though. I absolutely support FaceTime for relatives and friends.

My big problem is staying off the phone myself when they are here. I need the phone to listen out for the pings from camera of my mum with dementia. A slippery slope for me too.

YEP!

My daughter is 10 and has been using her dad's iPad for over a year to download free books on the Libby app and she also downloads and reads the kids National Geographic Magazine. She creates animation on it as well. I do agree that gaming, YouTube etc is highly addictive and children do spend far too much time on their devices to their detriment but they do have their place too. My son is 6 and loves Minecraft. Again too much time on it is not a good thing but he creates these amazing cities and structures and can play alongside his sister too. He also types in words and phrases and things which for him is great as I can not get him to write a sentence without a fight. So in my view everything in moderation and everything should be monitored by a parent.

yup....people are remembering the famous five and not real life

I think this just sums it up brilliantly, and echos my own thoughts.
One of my dc is now and adult, and due to the age gap between him and my middle one, he didn’t have online work or a kindle, and he wasn’t allowed social media until he had left school. But Covid really did change school work, and my younger two now have all homework online, from TT rockstars and spellings at primary, to various apps for secondary. Most homework requires watching various YouTube videos for history / geography and the sciences.
I think it’s wrong to assume technology = bad. As with anything it’s how you use it. Covid was a very steep learning curve for me with tech. But I don’t regret it. I’m still strict with its usage, I still have phone handed in for charging at 9:00 for my youngest and 10:30 for middle child. I still check my youngests messages.
Agee about travelling, there are only so many times you can play ‘I spy’, ‘animal, vegetable or mineral’, ‘guess the country’ and ‘without my pants’ before you need some down time! I remember my mum embracing Walkmans for long journeys to visit grandparents, as it meant she could finally have some quiet time with her own thoughts, instead of endless games or telling us ghost stories!
my younger two had the controls on the kindles set so they had to do 30 mins reading before they could play games or watch a film. The great thing about ebooks, is you can change the font and the contrast so books are much more accessible for dyslexic readers.

just as you wouldn’t let a young child watch an 18 horror, nor should you give unsupervised access to tablets / iPads. But just as Bluey on TV allows a parent a nip to the toilet so it can on a tablet. Just make sure the parental controls are on. On a kindle they are very easy to switch on, and better than a TV you can set an automatic ‘off’ timer so you’re not the baddie switching off their tech!

Even teachers are telling the kids not to use their phone for their homework, and frankly all these kids have higher tech than I have 😂

It’s worse for their eyesight too.

My DD reads book after book - she can get through a good few in an evening. I can't keep up with her, even with charity shops and vinted etc. Local library has closed. I got her a tablet to use Borrowbox, so she can borrow library books online.

I agree. We were asked to equip our eldest with a tablet/iPad in y5, so at 9yo, for her school (12 years ago) and even though that came with lots of digital and safeguarding training [DD was a digital ambassador and went on special school trips and trainings] we still regret every single day that we went along with it.

SM exposure has impacted her MH on so many levels. I really wish we had held out for both our DC until 13.

I have one that my five year old uses. It’s a treat for her. Usually she is allowed it at the weekend while my little one has a nap for an hour and a half, or occasionally in the evenings after a long day. Usually iPad time follows lots of outdoor play with other children, and often is only BBC iPlayer, sometimes she’s allowed YouTube kids. It gives me a break and she enjoys it. Can’t really see the problem when used responsibly. I don’t agree with iPad time at mealtimes. Ocassionally if she’s bored while I’m out for a meal (once in a blue moon), she watches it with her headphones on.