Do you believe in this often said term?

[Kate879]

I’ve had some bad news this week re. my job security and I know people are trying to be helpful but “everything happens for a reason” isn’t a consolation at the moment.

Do you believe that to be true?

I'm not sure I do, but I do look back on shit times of my life and try to find comfort in what's happened after. Try to find reasons why it happened and what good things came from it. I don't think saying to someone going through a shit time that everything happens for a reason is helpful in the slightest.

I don't think it always true but the two worst things that ever happened to me (at the time) did turn out to have unexpected advantages, so much so that looking back I wouldn't change them even though they were horrific when they happened. I couldn't have known that at the time so no doubt hearing 'everything happens for a reason' wouldn't have helped and may well have upset/annoyed me though!

‘Everything happens for a reason’ I buy into only from a cause and effect (there is a reason your job is insecure)…it’s not something that is predicting something that will happen as a result.

Well, I can’t vote as not sure which is which.

I do believe everything happens for a reason. A reason can be anything, no idea why people think this refers to a great plan by some deity or the fates. The reason can even be because you fell pregnant and your boss is a misogynist, you lost your job. Sometimes the reason can be your own self…ie because I braked for a suicidal squirrel I crashed my car.

So yes, everything happens for a reason.

But, I agree with you it’s not consolation. It’s more a statement of the obvious. We all know things happen for a reason and we are always second guessing where things went sideways and why.

Maybe the expression is meant to be more of gesture of I get you, shit happens, we’ve all been there but you’ll get through it.

For me it's one where if I'm with a friend going through something awful and they say it then that's fine, if thinking about it that way helps then I'm perfectly happy to go along with it. I'd never ever say it first though.

I don't ike that one at all - it's no comfort if for example you want children but can:t have them .