Do you believe in this often said term?

[Kate879]

I’ve had some bad news this week re. my job security and I know people are trying to be helpful but “everything happens for a reason” isn’t a consolation at the moment.

Do you believe that to be true?

No. There's no such thing as fate, or destiny or luck. Things just happen.

Absolutely not. I’m not sure what the reason was for multiple miscarriages and subsequent permanent infertility.

I believe it. Doesn't help when you're in the throes of something bad or negative happening, but yes I do believe in fate and destiny and that there's a reason a particular thing happened.

I know some don't but I do.

No

It's technically true! Everything happens because of other things that happened.

But they mean everything bad thing has hidden benefits, which is obviously bollocks.

Since it's about work, though, I'll offer you another one: When one door closes, another one opens.

I mean, it might be a door to Shitsville or a trapdoor. One thing's certain, though, a closing door's going to mean you take a new path. Hope it all works out well for you.

Yes I do.

I hate it too. As if it’s supposed to offer any consolation when you’re struggling for whatever reason

No. Some things are just shit.

I sort of get it but I think it’s more about your life experiences and the way that shapes your future than some “cosmic” reason. Ie as scary as redundancy is, I would say 3/4 years on many people look back and think it was the right thing to happen.

i also think it depends on your attitude to life- I think it’s less common but I once worked with someone who was the most self absorbed, bitter, attention seeking person. She was made redundant and I aM sure she’s still negative as hell about it years later.

It’s a phrase said by people who are either lucky or life’s optimists. Nothing wrong with it- optimists are happy and healthy but like you, I need to dwell on my feelings before I can get back to taking action. Sorry you’ve had a rough day

No. And it is sometimes said pretty thoughtlessly.

I don’t think everything happens for a reason but I do think everything will work out in the end.

I think that’s my mindset as I lost a sibling to suicide when I was younger and if I didn’t have that mindset about my own life I’d quickly become hopeless (I think)

I think it’s a shit thing to say to someone facing bad news. I can understand it applied after an event when things have taken a good turn. But to say it as a panacea for bad news is really insensitive and actually fairly ignorant. I do hope things improve for you and sorry that you’re going through a rough time.

Its nonsense. And its very unhelpful.

No, but I do think you can learn and grow from most shitty life situations and then look back and think ‘that wasn’t so bad, I wouldn’t be where I am now if that hadn’t happened ’, which can make it feel like it ‘happened for a reason’, even if logically that’s a load of old shit.

(I don’t mean deaths and terrible tragedies, btw, but job losses, relationships ending etc.)

I prefer "what's for you won't pass by you" - I can't quite articulate why but it feels more positive than everything happens for a reason.

No pile of pish..ooo redundancy is so much fun
Like fuck it is when you're 50+ and no fucker wants you

I hate it when people use the term as a form of comfort but I do believe that where you are now is where you’re meant to be. I do often say ‘whatever is meant for you will not pass you by’ which is probably just as pathetic.

Well there's a reason why everything happens I suppose. Didn't get the job? Reason, someone else applied they liked more or you weren't a good fit.
I don't think things happen because there's an unknown mystical force at play directing your life though.

No I don’t. It is true that sometimes something suboptimal can turn out to have positive outcomes not apparent at the time. But clearly this doesn’t apply to everything. So saying all things happen for a reason can be very insensitive. But obviously people are just trying to be helpful even though it’s not.

No.

I do think you can often see with hindsight that things worked out better that way. Eg breaking up with my fiance was horrendous at the time, but with hindsight good things led from it, which otherwise wouldn't have happened.

Similarly, we lost our house purchase but ended up with a better one.

My Mum lost her job, but met my step-dad in her new job (which also paid better).

But some things are so awful that it would be truly offensive to say "everything happens for a reason". You might live through it, but never truly get over it.

Not really. I prefer 'You will somehow get through this' as a philosophy. Whatever happens, time will keep ticking, I will do something, my life will go on.

It is a rubbish term. But I have been through redundancies myself- and known many people who have too- and I can't think of anyone who wasn't better off where they ended up once the dust settled. It wasn't easy going through the unsettlement of the changes though and there are no guarantees.

Wishing you all the best of luck with whatever is going on with you OP.

No

No, I don't. If people find this a comforting thought in relation to their own lives, fair enough. But they need to be mindful of the risk of coming across as irritating and lacking in empathy if they react to the bad luck of others in this way.