To be driven crazy by a few very, very common expressions on Mumsnet?

[Pineapplesonpizza]

Here are two to start with:

"Just that really." after the initial title of the post, sometimes accompanied by shrug emoji.

The word "surely".

Do you have any that irrationally irritate you?

Don’t forget ‘grim’

HTH it's so smug

Just my tuppence / two pennorth.

Definitely agree with surely and I add the word right when added on the end of a sentence.

I instantly loathe anyone who says ‘first post nails it.’

Ducks in a row
In the trenches
spidey-senses
”what’s an X, Y, Z?” (Just use Google)
Did you mean to be so rude
Shaking and crying (because someone dared knock on the door)
And everybody clapped

Had to look it up!
Ugh.

Ducks in a row! omg yes

I can’t stand “we’ve lost sight of what a normal weight is”

the orthorexics answer to every weight thread

Ick. And the fact that people seem to think it’s a modern invention. It started off as baby talk and was then used relentlessly in Ally McBeal in the late 1990s. Ironically ick gives me the ick…

Agree with trenches.

Anyone who says "has he form" or has he "previous" for some behaviour the poster complains about.

Anyone who says "did you mean to be so rude".

These people drive me bananas.

But there is a special place in hell for someone who say "hard Paddington stare".

Gently. Like when someone suggests gently telling someone in their life that they’re overweight/dress badly/some type of moral failing. You can be as “gentle” as you want, but they’re not gonna like it. And also it’s just so patronising.

"Politely" ........

Ending a sentence with no.

Politely, you're a dickhead, no?

When OP posts about a confrontational situation and someone posts "I'd have slapped her" or "I'd reversed into their car" etc. I always think to myself 'no you wouldn't'.

(My List - not exhaustive )

I couldn't get worked up by this

Is this A Thing ?

And what did they say when you went to A&E (when it is patently obvious the OP hasn't done )

You have a DH problem ( usually involving MIL , why can an adult not ask another adult > why is it DH job to do this )

Use Your Words

I would keep the dog and Re-Home DH

Just tell them "Yes my charge is £15/hour to look after your DC " when the OP is not a ChildMinder and legally cannot charge

Also “well why did you marry/have kids with him?”

whether the signs were there already, the horse has well and truly fucked off let alone bolted. And crucially, some people don’t recognise the signs in the first place or there just weren’t any.

“Ghastly”.

I'd sprinkle some nails round the tyre ( because getting a flat tyre isn't in the least bit hazardous and it isn't a punishment for parking over your drive )

Ending a sentence with no? gives me the same irritation as ending with 'surely'.
In fact, generally, ending a statement type sentence with a question mark can irk me.

No is a complete sentence

Vanishingly rare

What did they say when you asked them?

Tell me you know nothing about xyz without telling me you know nothing about xyz ....

I think this wins.

Oh how could I forget the absolute worst -use your words. It's so patronising

Block them , then go to the door when they turn up , with a big glass of wine . You cannot move your car 'cos you've been drinking . See you in the morning .

<Bloody Hell , I;m an angry person > !