To be driven crazy by a few very, very common expressions on Mumsnet?

[Pineapplesonpizza]

Here are two to start with:

"Just that really." after the initial title of the post, sometimes accompanied by shrug emoji.

The word "surely".

Do you have any that irrationally irritate you?

How do you know he's single?

When a poster says they fancy someone.

🙄

"Use your words"

"You do you"

"I got screamed at..." (which I always interpret as a mild admonition about something or other)

Announcing you’ve “name changed because…”

Think that naming a hobbie / job title / holiday destination is “outing”.

And woke the baby. 🙄

That's why it's done on purpose.

HTH 😉😉😉

“I’m confused…”

when what they mean is “I’m pretending not to understand you in a way that is meant to imply your spelling/comment/problem is so unbelievably stupid it’s impossible to understand”. When actually it means “I’m a massive bellend and I’m attempting to belittle you to try and look clever and funny”.

worst one ever was someone pretending to be confused because a poster, who had been punched in the face by her partner in the first night in their new home, had no money as they’d just brought a house.

I’ve noticed a recent trend towards

”two things can be true at once “

🤦🏻‍♀️

On threads where OP is upset about something their DH/partner has done. Some smug shit pipes up “my DH would never do that to me/ my DH would never have an affair/ I know my DH better than he knows himself “.

Yeh, righto.

Well, yeah. That's what I was trying to say. Not very clearly, obviously!

@buttercupcake I actually have come to love the word Grim 😂

“Outing Hobby” .. there are 65 million people in the U.K, and this is a worldwide forum. Unless “DHs” hobby is unicycling around Leeds, juggling monkeys and whistling the National Anthem.. the hobby is not outing

Probably more applies to real life, but I hate,

"No offence at the start or end of the sentence, and "Can I be honest with you?" Both translate to I'm to be a rude arsehole, but it's okay because I've excused myself. To both I think, "I have taken bloody offence, and no you cannot be "completely honest" with me.

I hate nah. It’s probably meant to sound blasé or nonchalant. I imagine the poster thinks they’re a bit cool but it annoys me for some reason.

LTB!

Also - I've lost count of the number of times a poster writes the complete opposite of what they are trying to say, so that the reader is left feeling confused, even if only momentarily. Happens a lot on Facebook, too. For example, a missing "not", or a "can" that should read "can't". Sometimes the poster will immediately add a clarification, but usually they don't. Drives me nuts when people don't bother to check that what they've written actually makes sense!

1. Kindly (not at all kind but very patronising)
2. entitled
3. poor comprehension on this thread.

Huge salad

Every bloody salad is HUGE. especially annoying if it’s a humble brag on a weight related thread.

'Run' and variations on it, without any support or information.

"Don't you trust him?" Or "You either trust him or you don't."

How much you trust someone has absolutely no bearing on their trustworthiness.

I love saying this to rude people. It gets the job done nicely.

The question was specifically about Mumsnet, not other sites

No? After a stupid statement. People trying to be clever. I want to strangle them.

Honestly the whole DD, Ds, DMIl when you're writing a post about how much you hate her

Oh definitely this.

Especially, "i know my DH better than he knows himself."

I've only ever met one woman in life who said these things about her husband.

He had a whole list of women he'd meet up with for 'coffee'.

Love language - more cod psychology