DD and friend had drinks spiked, now in ITU AIBU?

[Pissedoffmama]

My Dd had her drink spiked last night.
Im sitting in ITU.
I have sons……. But wtf goes on in men’s heads.
For completeness, her best friend, was also spiked, but is not as poorly.
police are being crap.
Just why????

I'm sorry to hear that this happened. If it would help your dd to feel better about going out in future, you can buy nail varnish which changes colour if your drink has been spiked and you dip your finger in.

@sunshinesuzey

the drug could be at the bottom of a wine or beer glass? Two stacks of glasses - take from the left (no drugs) if it’s a bloke and from the right (drugs) if it’s a woman you want to rape. If you are working alone it’s not hard to imagine how a bar person could do this. Unless you fully inspect the glass prior to a drink being poured?

The wine or spirit bottle may have the drug in it- unless you buy a bottle it is feasible

Thank you, I didn’t know about this
It just feels so wrong that people ( from this thread, males included) have to protect themselves like this

I’m really surprised at the posters that sound as though they’re defending the police for doing FA.

The bare minimum they could do is review any CCTV footage and go from there…people die from being spiked. The police shouldn’t just be shrugging their shoulders!

Reasons people spike other people's drinks:

• to make the victim vulnerable to assault or theft
• to see the victim lose control for a 'laugh'
• to ruin the victim's evening

As PPs have described, anybody can be a victim, anybody can be a perpetrator.

It happened to my very attractive friend in 1999, aged nineteen. I wasn’t drinking much and we realised something was very wrong as it was only her second drink.

Hospital visit, stomach pumped, the works. Her mum rang the bar when they opened the following evening. They couldn’t have cared less. Police also did nothing.

Always look out for your friends, never leave a drink unattended. It’s maddening we need to protect ourselves like this.

Which bar, OP?

Why does that matter? If there are approx 1 million cases year, that's over 2,700 a day. They're not all in 1 bar.

Because these people are professionals. They stop and watch and probably don’t spike just one person. They probably spike a few and see which poor spiked person is vulnerable enough to fit their agenda for the night.

I’ve been spiked twice. I’m teetotal as never enjoyed drinking so I don’t get drunk and distracted, always have my drink in my hand.

The first time was ten ago when I was a student, in a student bar. The drink was fine when I took it away from the bar, we’d got there early so the place was pretty bare. I went and stood next to a pillar in the club next to my boyfriend and went to drink some of my coke and there was something white fizzing around in it. I suppose the person either hoped I’d be too drunk to notice it or it would dissolve before I drank any. No idea how it happened because I literally hadn’t put it down. They must have done it from the other side of the pillar but nobody was there when we looked. I don’t know what their plan was because I was standing there next to my partner. I gave it to bar staff but they disposed of it and were uninterested, they just poured me another coke.

The second time I wasn’t lucky enough to notice before it was too late. I know I didn’t put my drink down though.

I’m so sorry to hear this. It’s awful. I unfortunately had to deal with the follow up from a spiking incident when I worked in a bar (although I wasn’t present during the alleged spiking incident itself). I took the cctv from the whole premises and sent it to the police. The police watched the whole thing and I watched the whole thing.. from all angles from every camera across the whole of the premises from the start of the evening to the end. It turns out that the most common form of spiking is now by a needle in the victims body. The needle is so tiny that a mark is hard to find on the body and due to bars being busy it is virtually impossible to spot it on cctv as it can simple happen when one person briefly brushes past another person. So so difficult to spot. I couldn’t find the incident and neither could the police but the victim was adamant that the bar I worked in was the only place this could have happened. So while it may be frustrating, it isn’t always that the police aren’t trying.

@StarCourt And how is that going to stop you being jabbed by a needle?

It isn't, but it's a start.

Have you got any better ideas ?

So sorry to hear about your DD
Hope her and her friend get better soon
Remember being disgusted reading tulisa ( from x factor) talk about how when she was younger, her and her pals would go to clubs and spike people because she thought it was funny at the time

Hi, This nail varnish doesnt exsist - its based on an idea in a TV series. I have done loads of research on this as I deliver a Drink Spiking session to Year 12/13s at school as part of PSHE.
There are wristbands you can buy or dip sticks they are working on a drinks stirrer to be able to check, however unless she suspects the bar staff (not unheard of) I can't see why she would check as it was never out of her sight as such. You can buy scrunchies with a cover inside.
This website you can report spikings on https://tasadot.com/what-is-tasa which highlights to all where things have possibly happened to raise awareness, I am sorry the police are being rubbish.
Hope your daughter is feeling better soon.

I'm so sorry OP that this has happened to your daughter but I'm so glad they were able to get to help safely.

It happened to me a good 20 years ago. I was so lucky that a friend and her bf looked after me and I wasn't seriously ill. Back then I didn't even bother reporting it because I thought the police wouldn't do anything and probably just blame me (single girl who'd been drinking). I knew exactly who did it and where he worked. Scary and depressing that it's still the same now.

And as a final word to all the victim blamers, NOBODY deserves to have this happen to them. Careless or Careful - it doesn't matter, people deserve to be able to socialise safely.

I nearly failed my degree because I had a drink spiked the day before my dissertation. I was having lunch with friend and we both had 1 glass of wine in a pub. Next thing I remember is waking up in her flat because she texted her boyfriend to come get us . A group of guys were surrounding me and wouldn't let me go. He had to come with his 2 male flatmates to pull me away. Thankfully I knew her boyfriend and his flatmates and they all knew me. I ended up sick for 2 days and had to reschedule my dissertation (which I eventually passed).

Never reported it to the police because I'd already seen the lack of concern they had for a different friend in a club. The police don't give a shit and too many people blame the people who have been spiked

People have been on TV saying the police must do more.

Everyone who is upset simply jot off an email to your mp! We are the people and if enough of us care about an issue people take notice.

We need the police to be far more proactive and in bars where reports happen ,undercover they need to work with venues and CCTV ,staff training. Nhs needs to step up and help people understand what has happened and the drugs used.

Schools nees to educate pupils etc and more tech to help

@NotEnoughtGin The police don't give a shit

So what would you like them to do ?

Cctv in the bar?

And who pays for that?

what are the 4% of people saying YABU thinking! someone check their hard drives...

OP, I am so sorry for your poor daughter and friend, that is bloody horrendous. I am glad they collapsed outside the bar rather than worse happening. Hate to say it but could they have been injected rather than drinks spiked? It sickens me how much this happens.

People - mainly men of course - can be evil arseholes

That is dreadful, I am so sorry you went through that awful experience. Good that you had some friends able to come and help cos otherwise WTAF. Agree police are useless in circs like this - see also: rape basically decriminalised

I had a friend get spiked years ago. The doctors were not helpful. They wouldn’t do a blood test incase she had taken something illegal and were not interested.

She’d stayed to watch drinks while me and another girl went to the loo. There was a Que and she’d been chatting to a group of people. We left soon after and she collapsed unconscious . I’ve never seen anything like it.

I suspect the actual figures for this crime are much, much higher than those recorded.
It will be assumed that many victims have just drunk too much. Many will be got home and just left to sleep it off. By the time they are in a state to begin piecing things together, it will be far too late for any tests to be carried out.
My DS was spiked in a local club at the age of 23. We found him passed out in a neighbours garden at 3am having received a very strange message from him saying he was just arriving in an Uber, and then not hearing him come in. We assumed that he was drunk. It was was only once he had fully recovered, and we'd had a chance to speak with his friends that we realised he had drunk very little, and he knew that the way he was feeling wasn't 'drunk'. Of course, it was way too late for testing by that point.
I really hope your DD is Ok OP.

Their job!

@Pissedoffmama it is really hard to prove but the hospital will be providing the results to the police and they should take a statement from both your daughter and friend when able.
They will also be checking pub/club cctv if any available.
This type of crime does incur a prison sentence, if people are caught but it is often under reported, particularly if a sexual assault occurs
I hope your daughter is much better soon