DD and friend had drinks spiked, now in ITU AIBU?

[Pissedoffmama]

My Dd had her drink spiked last night.
Im sitting in ITU.
I have sons……. But wtf goes on in men’s heads.
For completeness, her best friend, was also spiked, but is not as poorly.
police are being crap.
Just why????

Everything is hard to prove without the will.

Take it higer email MP ! Charities for spiking

The police did fuck all when my daughter was glassed in a pub by some drunken imbecile two years ago so it doesn't surprise me in the least they they're being totally useless.

OP I hope your daughter and her friend make a speedy recovery.

The stories I’m reading here are both tragic and horrifying….
Something needs to change

Who on earth are the 5% who think the OP is being unreasonable? Her daughter has been the victim of a deeply unpleasant crime which could have had even more serious consequences than it already has. Human nature and human behaviour really saddens me. Hope the young women make a speedy recovery and that the police up their game and take it seriously

Wtf??! How did that play out, and how did you get away safely? This is like something out of a horror movie. Did you report him/her?

@Pissedoffmama my heart goes out to you, your DD and her friend. I hope they recover soon physically and that you all can recover from the shock and psychological impact of this crime.

It is infuriating that the police are going with the “hard to investigate” line. It might be hard but it’s not at all impossible and there are obvious lines of enquiry they can go down. Even if they don’t solve this crime they can build intelligence to put together if (or sadly, when) this sort of thing happens again.

Thanks for giving the details OP - I think it helps people think of this if they're in the same situation.
Could it have been a member of the bar staff?! i.e. before the drinks were even given to them?

Also Get it on local FB sites it happened in that bar and make others aware. Many towns have local Facebook sites

2025 figures - again approx 1 million. Given the UK population, that's around 1 in 70, or around 8 times more than the number of road accidents in the UK each year. Do all of the road accidents - people backing into bollards, minor scrapes on roundabouts - get reported on the news?

https://media.drinkaware.co.uk/media/q3siznbp/spiking-statistics-2025-monitor.pdf?rmode=pad&v=1dc27ad50d16d40

While I don't disagree that there's a MASSIVE problem, I'm not sure what you mean by every man benefits from women curtailing their behaviour? how does it affect a decent man if women go home earlier or call taxis etc?

Wow, you are really something else.

This happened to me in the 90s. It happens loads in this country! It doesn't take brains of britain to fet how. Sorry you're a bit slow understanding it.

Do you have any advice or links on how to stop men from perpetrating this crime? Education in schools? Stiffer penalties for offenders? Something that suggests you believe the burden should fall on men...to stop drugging women, for sex?

Or is your only advice for women, so they don't allow themselves to be spiked?

When a woman is a victim of any crime committed by a man, it doesn't take long for the 'what should she have done differently to avoid being assaulted' suggestions. And insinuations that she was in some way partially responsible for her assault because of some 'perceived' negligence on her part.

When it's women making these suggestions and insinuations, it's not easy to reconcile.

It will only change when people kick up a fuss .
Write to your mp (I've written to mine about it when it happens at a local event and a school child was spiked ) I wrote to my MP ,the police and the event holders etc and told local charities who deal with spiking.

I also let people know on local FB sites and the school and i wrote to the school about awareness etc.

Everyrhjng I'm suggesting you and others should do.

What on earth do people get out of doing this? Apart from planning a robbery or a sexual assault why would a woman drop something to a 50 year old woman in a cafe? Just for sheer devilment?

Not downplaying this btw, I think this is outrageous and it should be a very serious crime.

Because women curtail their full selves across their whole lives, not just in terms of taxis! They do it instinctively (and often unconsciously) in all their relationships with men.

All of this people need to kick up a fuss !!
Make it the bars problems make it mp problem make it local community issues.
Bars and pubs etc themselves must do more.

We have to be very careful throwing about statistics about spiking and claiming there is a new epidemic of it and women are at more risk from it now than they ever were. The evidence is just not there to support it. An increase in reporting may well come from a heightened awareness. Whenever there is a well publicised case, reports of spiking go up.

Here’s what is known:

Spiking with drugs is not a new phenomenon (indeed, we were told to be very aware of it in the 90s) and it makes up a small percentage of spiking incidents.

Needle spiking is actually incredibly difficult. The likelihood of someone being needle spiked and being unaware of it is very low. Think about what it takes to get a vaccination, these drugs are not so potent that a small needle stick could get enough of a substance into your bloodstream to render you incapacitated.

Most spiking reports when presenting at A&E are found not to have anything other than alcohol in the body. Some of these drugs can clear the system within hours, but most are still detectable in urine after a day or two. Even GHB, which goes through the system quickest will still be there 12 hours later. If you are presenting at A&E, you will usually be tested within that time.

The vast majority of spiking incidents involve alcohol only. The most common is being given a double measure when you thought it was a single. In many cases being way more drunk than you expected to be in a short period of time can feel like you’ve been drugged (dizziness, unable to walk, disorientation).

Rather than focusing on where your drink is, keeping your hand over it etc, the most important thing you can do to keep safe is, make sure you are there when your drink is ordered.

Sorry, I'm not trying to pick an argument, just trying to understand what you mean.
Do you mean women in general are socialised to put themselves second, and you think this is because they have generally risk-assessed and choose to 'play it safe'?

I just can't think of how e.g. my grandad benefits by a teenager choosing not to walk home alone - but perhaps you didn't actually mean all self-curtailing actions benefiting all men, but some actions benefiting some men.

Whilst well-meaning, I suspect a good defence lawyer would ensure the witnesses' evidence never made it to court. They would suggest the mother had tampered with the witnesses.

Ok have it your own way. I'm not arging.

Right. I had my drink spiked. My bad. I went to the ladies and left my drink with so called trusted friends. One of them was sick in the head and did it to prove he could. Now I trust nobody.