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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

What is going on in this house?

386 replies

Neighbourmystery · Yesterday 18:14

Right, this is going to sound nosy but here goes...
A house in a street I know was owned by an old lady with no family. When she died, her house stood empty for nearly a year then it started having work done. It's been bought by a health service far away from he town we live in (think I live in Liverpool and NHS Devon and Cornwall bought it) BTW these are not the real locations. So, they do lots of renovations, including putting a much higher fence up which has a key code entry they also put frosted film on every window. There's a new build extension on the side with coded keypads too. This is where 2 carers are. There are 4 carers altogether, 2 at a time and then a swap. There is one man who lives there . He is in his 30s , able bodied can move well etc I've seen him once or twice in the garden in a whole year. Another twice I saw a darkened van come to get him. He was only gone for an hour or so then back.
I cannot imagine the scenario this might be. I'm not curtain twitching and permanently watching but I am fascinated.

OP posts:
SnowFrogJelly · Today 09:48

I think you need a new hobby OP

NELEAF · Today 09:55

I would be curious too if it was near me.

You may be able to search planning permissions on your local council website. Very surprised that nothing has been in the local press as this sort of thing is loved by them to create drama locally. We have a few homes nearby that have been converted into children's homes and the press had a field day trying to stir up trouble.

Leavesandthings · Today 10:02

Neighbourmystery · Yesterday 18:49

Wow 5 to 1 care? I didn't even know that existed really. This sounds almost exactly like the house I'm talking about, even the frosted window film and the darkened vehicle. Maybe this mystery is solved!

I work in care and yes from what youve said the man has support to live in the community, which requires the two carers and the home adaptions.

Such a large support package is rare but not unheard of at all.

I think the responses suggesting witness protection and ex- criminal pysch patient are off the mark in my opinion. (I've also worked in forensic pysch rehab and have never heard of someone released from a hospital order into scenario like you've described)

BirthdayTrash · Today 10:03

Neighbourmystery · Yesterday 20:21

Definitely not a relative.
The trust they come from would be about 90 mins drive away at best with no traffic so quite far

You said Liverpool and Devon in your first post, which are l
a lot further apart than 90 mins. 90 mins isn’t that far. Plenty of people commute that distance to work daily.

ThreadGuardDog · Today 10:06

NELEAF · Today 09:55

I would be curious too if it was near me.

You may be able to search planning permissions on your local council website. Very surprised that nothing has been in the local press as this sort of thing is loved by them to create drama locally. We have a few homes nearby that have been converted into children's homes and the press had a field day trying to stir up trouble.

Why would the press be interested in one man moving into an adapted living facility with two carers. Unless he’s Elvis, it’s not remotely newsworthy.

Gwenhwyfar · Today 10:12

Neighbourmystery · Yesterday 21:03

Exactly . I don't have the right to ask

Patient confidentiality is for the patient, not for the building.
If I visit a building that's a mental hospital, people who work in the mental hospital don't have to lie about it being a mental hospital just in case someone sees me go in and out, they just wouldn't say anything about my treatment.

So, what is this house being used for by the NHS is a valid question imo.
As there is only one patient I suppose they may decide not to answer, but I don't see why you can't ask.

Gwenhwyfar · Today 10:13

ThreadGuardDog · Today 10:06

Why would the press be interested in one man moving into an adapted living facility with two carers. Unless he’s Elvis, it’s not remotely newsworthy.

Edited

If the person is a criminal or potentially dangerous?
Facilities for homeless people also sometimes get that kind of bad press.

Gwenhwyfar · Today 10:15

"90 mins isn’t that far. Plenty of people commute that distance to work daily."

An hour and a half one way to do a lowly paid carer's job? I can't believe that unless the commute is also paid and part of working hours, which it would be if the staff are transferred from a different trust.

Leavesandthings · Today 10:19

Gwenhwyfar · Today 10:13

If the person is a criminal or potentially dangerous?
Facilities for homeless people also sometimes get that kind of bad press.

Why would you assume the person is criminal or dangerous though?

BirthdayTrash · Today 10:20

Gwenhwyfar · Today 10:15

"90 mins isn’t that far. Plenty of people commute that distance to work daily."

An hour and a half one way to do a lowly paid carer's job? I can't believe that unless the commute is also paid and part of working hours, which it would be if the staff are transferred from a different trust.

You’ve conflated two things. OP suggested it was a similar distance to Devon and Liverpool - several hours - and then said it was 90 mins. 90 mins isn’t that far. Many people commute 90 mins (or more) to work. It was a general observation: I didn’t suggest the carers were travelling that far daily (they clearly aren’t as they are staying over).

LondonLass2026 · Today 10:22

I don't know, op, but please try not to term/ assume this man as "dangerous", "ex crim" and suchlike, as others are. He might be ill, and it's really unfair for people to create drama and start rumours.

I too would be naturally curious, like when a new neighbour moves in and you wonder who they are, but I wouldn't dream of asking anyone.

HereForFootie · Today 10:23

Have you considered a hobby?

Gwenhwyfar · Today 10:27

Leavesandthings · Today 10:19

Why would you assume the person is criminal or dangerous though?

I don't necessarily assume that, but it's one of the suggestions given on the thread.

Gwenhwyfar · Today 10:29

BirthdayTrash · Today 10:20

You’ve conflated two things. OP suggested it was a similar distance to Devon and Liverpool - several hours - and then said it was 90 mins. 90 mins isn’t that far. Many people commute 90 mins (or more) to work. It was a general observation: I didn’t suggest the carers were travelling that far daily (they clearly aren’t as they are staying over).

I think 90 minutes is very far and a VERY long commute. When you say, many people do it, what kinds of people? I would think it's only worth it for extremely good jobs on very high salaries and possibly people working around London. Why would someone in a normal job spend 3 hours commuting daily?

The carers are staying over when they're on shift I suppose, but we don't know where they are the rest of the time, whether they live locally and work for the far away trust or they commute from that one every few days.

mulberrymilk · Today 10:31

Neighbourmystery · Today 06:37

I've addressed this point

No, you haven't. You've decleared your assumptions based on how he looks.

omghereistrouble · Today 10:34

Probably a supported living place maybe MH if you do not think he is disabled. The van maybe was a private ambulance he could have been to a clinic or Dr

Mygardenshedisfallingdown · Today 10:36

PyongyangKipperbang · Yesterday 18:40

@Neighbourmystery When there was a guy parked right outside my house all day with him sitting in it (front door is straight off the pavement) and I posted on here about being a wee bit freaked out by it, I got this sort of shit too. Told to mind my own business (err I think it was my business!) and that I didnt own the road outside my house (as if that was the issue!) . Some people just like feeling pious and superior!

A lot of posters on MN have double standards and are closet twats.

BirthdayTrash · Today 10:36

Gwenhwyfar · Today 10:29

I think 90 minutes is very far and a VERY long commute. When you say, many people do it, what kinds of people? I would think it's only worth it for extremely good jobs on very high salaries and possibly people working around London. Why would someone in a normal job spend 3 hours commuting daily?

The carers are staying over when they're on shift I suppose, but we don't know where they are the rest of the time, whether they live locally and work for the far away trust or they commute from that one every few days.

90 mins on public transport is nothing here in the Welsh valleys. 15 miles from Cardiff in a straight line but it’s an hour on the bus plus the walk at each end. Plenty of people who work in retail, healthcare etc do it. 🤷🏻‍♀️

ImImmortalNowBabyDoll · Today 10:37

How do you know he's healthy and able?

Anyway, if you want my random speculation- the man is very dependent on his carers and routine and has been involved in some sort of witness/criminal situation or something else that required that he be removed from his previous location. It would have been too much for him to move to a new area and have new carers so they sent his carers with him.

Either that or (more likely) he requires specialist care which wasn't available in his previous area so he's been moved to where you are so he can access a specific consultant or therapy.

MysticChevron · Today 10:48

ThreadGuardDog · Today 08:47

The reality is that wherever you place these facilities there will be objections. These men may very well have spent years in inappropriate care settings, or their families left to cope with aberrant behaviours with little or no support before these facilities were set up. As you so rightly say, they have to live somewhere, and since we moved away from institutionalisation as the norm a long time ago, it’s hard to see what the alternatives would look like, given that in many cases traditional residential care isn’t appropriate.

I don’t disagree. It’s a messy system, and in fact magnifies the problem of miscommunication and/or disconnection between agencies. In our previous residence, it would be a breach of contract to have a male on the premises. The same agency has placed us here, and their parent agency has placed these neighbours nextdoor. Bureaucracy, hey! 🤷🏻‍♀️😅

Wanderlust510 · Today 10:53

I literally work in a setting like this as a support worker. The individual lives in a detatched bungalow and has 3 to 1 carers 24 hours a day. We do 12 hour shifts and rotate. Autistic and LD- nothing to do with criminal convictions or anything like that. Secure doors and gates, tinted windows ect for individuals own safety and dignity.

cozycat1 · Today 10:53

Not read whole thread but I work in housing and our health and social care partners are always looking for a house like this,for people with complex/multiple mental and or physical health disabilites who are either not safe to themselves or to the local community to live by themselves and need 24 hr care. The person may have been in hospital long term awaiting discharge to the right home.
Bungalows are a favoured house type and most would need adaptaions ans security measures.

Neighbourmystery · Today 10:58

SnowFrogJelly · Today 09:48

I think you need a new hobby OP

I have loads of hobbies thanks. Might need to read all my posts

OP posts:
Anyahyacinth · Today 11:15

ForeverNowWithin · Today 07:18

Then keep those dangerous people in a secure wing in solitary confinement. They are a danger to their carers as well. The most suitable, safe and appropriate setting isn't a house in a residential area which is run and paid for exclusively for them for life. It's just not a justifiable expense. They aren't being rehabilitated, they are being 'managed' for damage limitation only.

If their level of behaviour is such that they are a constant danger to everyone around them and their autism and/or limited intellectual function means that will not change or improve, then as sad as that is, they need a secure psychiatric hospital type environment with limited physical access to other people.

This is eugenics 🤢 people with disabilities have a right to be part of the world ..and not be imprisoned

FirstNationsEnglish · Today 11:23

I am now invested. I reckon it could be a 'Men in Black' type alien household.