All my clothes from ex house were destroyed

[SplashSplashh]

My husband and I separated a year ago and I moved out of the family home, I took lots of stuff with me and made trips back and forth to collect stuff, I didn’t take everything when I left as we were in a weird no man’s land where we discussed a possible trial separation. Things got more tense and it was obvious that we were permanently separating.

So I was trying to get access to my stuff for a long time but ex would skirt around the issue and say soon or not now, I’m busy etc.

Eventually he told me he would drop off bags of my stuff to my house. Looking inside everything was soaking wet, covered in mould and stinking. Most of it had to be binned. He then sent a text saying how everything was mouldy, how he had to destroy the wardrobe and how there was dead mice behind it.

It’s very odd as everything was fine when I was at the house last (October/November)no mould, just a normal wardrobe, the only thing was the bedroom looked like it had been shut up and not slept in or cleaned since I left (he was sleeping in another bedroom)

It’s a new(ish) build (15 years old) It’s really odd. What would you make of this??

I was the one to leave ex.

TBH, if an ex of mine left all their clutter in my house for an entire year, I'd bag it up and store it in the shed/garage (unless they were still paying towards the rent, that is.) If it got damp, so be it. It wouldn't be malicious, I just don't want other people's junk in my house that I'm paying for. If this stuff was important to you, why leave it so long to pick it up?

In fact, if this was a woman posting about her ex leaving stuff at her place for a long time, particularly an ex who dumped her, posters would be falling over themselves to suggest she do exactly that!

I think you could go to the small claims court after reporting it to the police.
Had you house insurance?
Get a file number from the police and make a claim.

Exactly.

He’s either:

• deliberately damaged them

• shoved them in bin bags and stored them outside in the rain because he didn’t give a shit about them coming back to you in decent condition

• shoved them in big bags and stored them outside in a rushed attempt to clear the house of anything that might make someone else think a woman lived there

• the house has indeed fallen into rack and ruin whilst he’s been living there alone, and your stuff has been returned to you from what is essentially now a tip

I've know someone who had to chuck a whole wardrobe of clothes and the wardrobe too due to damp in a modern flat. The room had been shut and the trickle vents shut and that was enough to cause mould to form where the wardrobe was up against an outside wall.

OP says in her post that he kept preventing her from picking the rest of her stuff up and skirting around it by claiming that he was busy and saying not now.

Yeah I tried loads of times, told him I would hire a small van and I would just need one visit to box stuff up and another to get it all in the van. He just kept putting me off saying work is manic, not now I’m knackered etc.

Yeah the only other thing I thought was that the room had been shut for a whole year and everything had festered but it was soaked.

If the bedroom has been completely shut up and not aired this could happen quite quickly, particularly if the wardrobe was against an outside wall.

It's not strange or weird. Human nature in some people means they want to seek "revenge" when they feel wronged.

All good points.
I remember helping a friend who had left her ex (they did not have children) go back to the house he still lived in to get the last of her possessions from there.

He was out but the sheer mess he'd created in the 6 months he'd been alone was unbelievable.
Rubbish just dropped on the floor.

He'd asked her to leave so it wasn't depression at her leaving.

Yes I know women can live like this too.

I think us women would put the clothes being mouldy down to malice as we wouldn't do that when in fact it could just be he's a filthy slob.

😮

I`d bin the the lot get a divorce and move on, and thank god i was done with him and is family.

Tbvh i wouldnt want anything off them either.
Divorce move on and far from them start the life i want and should have.

Probably let left them in the garden for weeks/months.

I wonder what the landlord has to say about the state of the place ?

Has he dumped them all outside in bags or in a damp garage in bags nd they've got wet in the rain.

Yes I too know someone who managed to get access to a home she’d shared with an ex after being prevented from accessing it for months.

It was in a complete state mess wise, and the kitchen ceiling had caved in due to a burst pipe and just been left as he’d met someone else and basically just moved into their place rather than deal with any of it.

She just retrieved what she could of hers and thanked god the house wasn’t her problem to deal with.

And I know someone else who temporarily left the home they shared with their other half after a big argument. She let herself in to pick up some clothes whilst he was at work and he didn’t know she’d be going there. There was shite everywhere, takeaway wrappers, dirty clothes on the living room floor, general rubbish, dirty dishes on the side. It’d only been a week at that point!!

It’s surprising how quickly a property can turn to shit when the person doing the lions share of the TLC isn’t there.

You’d be surprised how many landlords don’t do inspections and must be unaware. I lived in a rented property for a year and we never once had an inspection or even met the landlord. The person I lived with stayed for a further year after I left too and no one ever came by.

A horrible ex did this to me once too, OP. When he finally allowed me to collect my things from his house, everything was
shoved in bin bags. When I got it home it was
all shredded up, and various items of underwear were both shredded and he’d had a wank all over them. I’d also left due to domestic abuse.

Ultimately I ended up just trying to accept it and move on, as trying to achieve any kind of redress wasn’t worth the toll on my sanity.

There’s some awful men out there in the world!!

The police won’t be interested in this.

I wouldnt give it any more headspace.

You've got a fresh start so get some fresh clothes to go with it!

I wouldn’t ask him about it, he will interpret that as a wish for an ongoing connection

My ex husband did the same. Put all of my belongings in bin liners in the garden and made me go to court to get anything back. For some reason they think they can.

Ah Op I feel sad for you about your situation. I do hope you can buy some lovely clothes to replace the ones your ex ruined.