To take DD on holiday solo?

[OldSchoolCasualty]

Would you holiday separately to OH if they clearly didn't enjoy the holidays you booked but your child did?
My husband is not a 'holiday person' he never went on them as a child and doesn't understand the appeal. Before last year we'd been on ONE 'proper' holiday (I'm taking flights, all inclusive hotel, sightseeing etc not camping in the UK) and that was our honeymoon, before having DD.
Now I enjoy holidays, they're some of my favourite memories of childhood and I think it's important for DD to explore other parts of the world and see new things, explore new cultures etc.
Last year I finally managed to get him to agree to go on a proper family holiday. I booked everything, did all the paperwork all the car parking, all the insurances everything. He cared so little that when someone asked he didn't even know where we were going. No appreciation for any of the work I put in to getting us there.
He spent the holiday alternating between sleeping (I'm talking me and DD would get up and have breakfast, go to the pool and come back and he'd still be asleep at 11am despite not having a late night) complaining about the heat, the food, the fact DD wanted to go in the pool with him (he can't swim, another side effect of not going on holiday as a child apparently)
We went for dinner in the A la Carte restaurant one night and I ate alone because there was 'nothing he liked' (He's picky but that's a whole other thread)
We went on a Cruise 6 months later with my family and the same thing occurred. Would rather just stay in bed. Came to dinner but refused to eat most evenings and would take himself to the buffet later. Fell asleep during the day at lunch in front of everyone, which was so embarrassing. Didn't want to engage in any of the activities (play cards after dinner etc). There were rough seas but he refused to take his seasickness medication. He's said he's not going on another cruise again.
Even DD has mentioned that he clearly doesn't enjoy holidays and we'd have a better time without him, which is sad.

Am I wrong to take my daughter on holiday without him as he clearly doesn't enjoy it and it's a waste of money?
He's ruined two holidays in a row now.
Does anyone else holiday seperate from their partner? is it the way forward?

Absolutely go without him next time, why should you and your daughter miss out just because he’s miserable! I know someone who has been doing this for years her husband enjoys the quiet house and she will often take her mum along with her for company. You have to do what works for your family x

Go and have fun with your DD! Leave him at home, sounds like such childish and rude behaviour from him on holidays. Presume he isn’t like that the rest of the time otherwise why would you be with him?! If you two enjoy it then you can have freedom to choose where you go without having to please loads of people, and I agree that holidays are lovely memories for children and parents alike.

Rather obviously you don’t go on holiday with someone who is going to ruin it, and doesn’t want to go anyway.
im not entirely sure why you married such a bloke tbh.

You should definitely go! You will both have so much more fun without him there.

I am in a relationship and regularly travel alone because a) I get more time off b) I have a motorhome and he isn't into motorhoming c) He isn't interested in lots of the places I go to nor lots of the things I do d) I just like to travel in my own plus many more reasons.

We do go on holiday once or twice a year together

Dh and I go on holidays without the other and we also take just one child sometimes. Ours are different ages with different interests and we have a farm that needs looking after. We also enjoy different sorts of holidays - I like city breaks or beach holidays, Dh really only likes camping and outdoor pursuits. So I regularly take ours away without him (he stays home to look after the animals) to go to Europe or London. And then we swap, he’ll take dc away camping or cycling. It works great. They get the best of both worlds and neither of us has to endure a week doing something we wouldn’t enjoy. I’ve been travelling solo with mine since they were babies.

I'd definitely take her on my own or with family - why should either of you miss out on holidays?

It's hard to imagine he's Fun Bobby at home. Is he easy to live with?

What sort of holiday would he prefer? Or does he just not like holidays?

I always took my kids without my ex, he hated holidays and was miserable.
Used to do a mix of holidays with friends and thier kids, and just me and kids.
Probably one of the many reasons hes an ex

Fell asleep during the day at lunch in front of everyone, which was so embarrassing.

Is he ill? An alcoholic?

When I mentioned our next holiday the other day he said he's prefer to do more UK holidays (which is not a holiday for me as it would be self catering and we would still be cooking and cleaning up or spending hundreds on eating out, which I would then have to organise)
Honestly since turning 40 he has turned into an absolute fun sponge! doesn't seem to really enjoy anything anymore, he will join in, but isn't bothered either way.

It certainly sounds like the way forward is holidays just for you and your DD. The bottom line is that you can't force someone to enjoy or appreciate a holiday. Your husband sounds pretty selfish, as he could make an effort for the sake of your DD or you, but refuses to do so.

Ah crack on and enjoy holidays without him.
Why’s he sleeping so much though, that’s a bit odd, does he fall asleep at lunchtime at home? When he’s working?

I wonder why he feels the need to ruin holidays? Such a nob. Holidays are sooo expensive.

Go without him. Have a great time.

Let him sleep at home all day if he wants to.

Bore off!
X

I take my DS on holiday solo at least once a year - twice this year. DH likes holidays so it’s not the same situation but I like having the time with DS. DH is also not so keen on city breaks whereas I like them.

Is he physically well? Why is he falling asleep and sleeping for hours?
Is he adding anything to family life the rest of the time? This is very self absorbed behavior.

Definitely go with your child. I love travelling and as a family if 3 we do go on 3-4 holidays together, but I also take teen dd away without him. Been to canaries this year and another cottage break with my family. Travelling is one of the reasons I work hard so I want to enjoy them.

Definitely go with your daughter, it’ll be lovely.

My husband enjoys holidays but not necessarily beach ones but I do. I can already see myself going with my DD and having a lovely time. She’s only 6 months old but I just love being out with her doing things, even shopping trips I’ll wait for a wake window to go rather than go on my own.

It sounds like your partner sucks the joy out of your holidays, just leave him behind and make memories!

It's a big world, it's so depressing that an adult can have already given up on life and is refusing to do anything, and it's terribly unfair on his child.

Can you imagine he will be that unpleasant and lazy for the rest of your life?
No one has to like cruises or this or that, but at least offer something? He's doing nothing at all!

Of course take your daughter and have a lovely time!

Never mind separate holidays, I think I would have separate lives. He sounds like he sucks the fun out of everything.

@OldSchoolCasualty OMG he sounds such a bore!!

Absolutely go with just your DD! My DH prefers UK holidays as he doesn't like leaving his dog, so previously I've travelled with just DS1 (and left the younger two with my parents). We have been backpacking in Germany and France and had a fabulous time! I also have such wonderful memories from holidays abroad.

This year DH has agreed to leave the dog with his dad so it will be interesting to see how abroad goes! The kids are desperate to holiday outside the UK.

You and your DD will have a great time. Given he hates "foreign" then he can hardly complain!

I'm glad the general consensus here seems to be I'm not the unreasonable one for ditching him and taking DD on my own!
I'll add in that despite me earning quiet a bit less than him, he will also complain endlessly about having to pay his share of said holiday! it'll be the year leading up to the holiday of 'but I've got to pay for the holiday' instead of living his life.

👏
that's settled then, he can stay here and be miserable and we'll go off on our jollies without him!

@OldSchoolCasualty Christ, he sounds fucking horrendous. Personally I'd be thinking about leaving permanently, not just for a holiday. Imagine what he's going to be like in his 60's and when it's just the two of you.

Is he likely to try to prevent you from going without him? By being difficult about the money for instance?

@Coralsunset Oh I don't need his money to pay for the holiday, I'm far better at saving and far more financially savvy than him!

I used to go away with the DDs when they were younger and leave Old Misery at home. We had a much better time without him, whether we went abroad or holidayed in the UK. It took a whole lot of stress away from the holiday, from him not wanting to get up or do anything to eating what we wanted when we wanted it, rather than have someone who “didn’t fancy” this that or the other. Do it. You won’t regret it.