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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To take DD on holiday solo?

78 replies

OldSchoolCasualty · 19/07/2026 15:27

Would you holiday separately to OH if they clearly didn't enjoy the holidays you booked but your child did?
My husband is not a 'holiday person' he never went on them as a child and doesn't understand the appeal. Before last year we'd been on ONE 'proper' holiday (I'm taking flights, all inclusive hotel, sightseeing etc not camping in the UK) and that was our honeymoon, before having DD.
Now I enjoy holidays, they're some of my favourite memories of childhood and I think it's important for DD to explore other parts of the world and see new things, explore new cultures etc.
Last year I finally managed to get him to agree to go on a proper family holiday. I booked everything, did all the paperwork all the car parking, all the insurances everything. He cared so little that when someone asked he didn't even know where we were going. No appreciation for any of the work I put in to getting us there.
He spent the holiday alternating between sleeping (I'm talking me and DD would get up and have breakfast, go to the pool and come back and he'd still be asleep at 11am despite not having a late night) complaining about the heat, the food, the fact DD wanted to go in the pool with him (he can't swim, another side effect of not going on holiday as a child apparently)
We went for dinner in the A la Carte restaurant one night and I ate alone because there was 'nothing he liked' (He's picky but that's a whole other thread)
We went on a Cruise 6 months later with my family and the same thing occurred. Would rather just stay in bed. Came to dinner but refused to eat most evenings and would take himself to the buffet later. Fell asleep during the day at lunch in front of everyone, which was so embarrassing. Didn't want to engage in any of the activities (play cards after dinner etc). There were rough seas but he refused to take his seasickness medication. He's said he's not going on another cruise again.
Even DD has mentioned that he clearly doesn't enjoy holidays and we'd have a better time without him, which is sad.

Am I wrong to take my daughter on holiday without him as he clearly doesn't enjoy it and it's a waste of money?
He's ruined two holidays in a row now.
Does anyone else holiday seperate from their partner? is it the way forward?

OP posts:
arethereanyleftatall · 20/07/2026 20:01

OldSchoolCasualty · 20/07/2026 14:57

@CountessBinface At this point to pay his half of the bills and mortgage 😂 I couldn't afford the house I'VE spent the last 6 years renovating on my own and it's not finished enough for sale!

In this case;

  1. defo go on the holiday and many more
  2. detach emotionally so that you don’t care if he gets cross/angry/miserable
  3. stealthily work towards getting out
Firefly100 · 20/07/2026 20:06

OldSchoolCasualty · 20/07/2026 12:39

Apparently he had no idea how appallingly he'd behaved on the last two holidays. Imagine being that oblivious and self absorbed!
He says he's going to try and do better, I do not even slightly believe him!

Ok, take him at his word. Step 1 of ‘doing better’ is to plan and organise it himself. You will, in the meantime, continue to plan and book hols just for you and DD. Not a problem right? Unless it is all hot air.

Chocolateistheanswer2026 · 20/07/2026 22:03

It doesn't sound like it's a barrel of laughs living with this man, quite aside from the holiday issue. Has he seen a doctor as falling asleep during the day could be a symptom of diabetes. My husband was always tired and lost interest in doing things but then he was diagnosed with diabetes. He reversed it with diet and exercise and is like a different person now. I think we'd be divorced had things not changed as I was fed up like you with our life.

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