AIBU to wonder if giving cash to a stranded tourist was naive

[LovingLilacDuck]

I just got approach by a tourist woman in Paddington who said she got her purse stolen in Oxford Street. She asked me for some cash as she had to put blockage on all her bank cards because they were stolen. And she needed the cash to go to her hotel or something like that. She was good looking, she said she was a lawyer from Amsterdam and was soft spoken but also a little nervous. And she was so happy when I gave her the cash that she gave me a hug and thanked me in a genuine way.

I helped her because she seemed genuine. Of course, there is a chance she could be a scammer herself so a part of me feels a bit sad and naive. But I just want to hope that she wasn’t and I helped a woman in need.

What would you do in this situation? I am just curious. xx

You don’t know how Apple Pay works? Or uber? 😆
if you block your cards you can’t use them via Apple Pay or Uber either

She would have just needed a fiver to get to her hotel using a single journey ticket on the tube.

You got played.

£30? It’s ok. You helped someone in trouble.

Or you were scammed but you did it in good faith in case someone was in trouble.

You did the right thing here. Especially since you can feed and house yourself, right?

I lived in London for 10 years and if someone was begging for money for food I’d offer to buy them food rather than hand over cash. Only one single person actually took me up on the offer and I bought him a kebab and chips! Everyone else just said “no don’t bother” if I offered to buy the food rather than hand over the cash.

I wonder what the lady would have said if you’d offered to take her to her hotel rather than giving her cash!

It doesn’t matter. What matters is that you are a kind trusting person. And good karma will come your way. Your intention was good. What she did with the money doesn’t matter.

There’s also a huge psychological element to how these scams manage to ‘get’ people. They’re very good at what they do. They prey on that sense of ‘what if…?’ and also I always find they have a way of sweeping you along and not letting you stop for a moment to think.

If you find yourself starting to get sucked in, the best thing you can do is try to put in a bit of a pause or a circuit breaker to whatever slick patter they’ve got you going along with. Something like ‘why don’t I just buy you a tube ticket/top up your Oyster/help you find a police officer?’ will usually have them flailing around for some excuse as to why that won’t work and why only cash will do.

I was quite proud of myself when I found myself almost taken in by a young man who had a whole story about needing help getting to his hostel. I was close to giving him something but then my instincts started screaming that something wasn’t right. He’d told me where he was staying, so I said I just wanted to give the them a quick call to see if they could help, and he gave me a series of increasingly frantic nonsensical excuses as to why I couldn’t call them before saying ‘oh, fuck this’ and running off.

Yep. Total scam. So sorry.

OP I once gave a distressed teenage girl in Edinburgh £20 to let her get home after the people she'd come with allegedly dumped her alone in a strange city.

It may have been genuine, it may have been a scam, but I decided I'd rather help than have a vulnerable girl possibly come to harm. I though of my own 2 DDs and hoped someone might help them if they needed it.

You did a nice thing with the best of intentions. Give yourself a pat on the back for your decency rather than letting doubt creep in.

It was a scam but to be fair to you it was the first time you’ve heard it so thought it true

people travelling through the stations hear it every day

as PP have said please be careful of them hugging you

And she did not ask for your address so she could send you a cheque? Or vouchers for the amount she borrowed?

Yeah you were scammed. Sorry OP. It’s a classic one around the stations.

You win some you lose some maybe it was a scam maybe it wasn't if I could afford to lose the money id give it.

There's a notorious "American" woman in Dublin who does this. The local forums have lots of reports of sightings. She's almost a celebrity. 🤣

Oh clearly a scam!!!

Who puts their cards in a purse now?
If she was a lawyer in Amsterdam, surely she would still have her phone to contact people.
You probably bought a random woman a room for the night and I'm absolutely sure she is feeling so much better after a hot shower. All is not lost.

Yes probably a scam. I wouldn’t have given any money mainly because I don’t carry cash and couldn’t have spared it if I did, before I’d had a chance to consider whether I was being scammed or not.

Where I live, bus drivers will let you on for free if you give them a sob story. I’m sure they know that mostly people aren’t genuine, but at least it means that they have helped in the rare cases where it is genuine rather than having left that person to come to harm.

I've helped people out quite often, without interrogating their circumstances. I've also been helped quite often.

London stations are full of people 'urgently needing' illogical amounts of money for fares, and you do get used to it quite quickly. When you're commuting, you couldn't possibly give them all what they want or you'd be working for nothing!

However, we each have to choose a place on the wheel of give & take, and it is not wrong or stupid to give in good faith what you can afford to lose.

No-one genuine needs £30 to get from Paddington to Oxford St. £3.20 train will do it. Or use their phone.

Or it's a 40 - 50 minute walk!

I agree with this. You had the best will in the world, you have ‘lost’ £30 whether or not she was a scammer.
you’re a kind person, keep that kindness, not many people have it and alongside that keep your word about you.
id rather see a girl , child, young person, woman or vulnerable person home safe than assume everyone is out to take something from me

This.

Presuming her hotel was in London, she could have walked if zone 1, or a tube ticket to whichever zone needed would have been way less than £30.

If course she was scamming you 😅

Meh. You live and learn.

Yes, a London scam. I just remembered a commotion by a hotel reception a few years back, in London and a bunch of Chinese tourists - it was so sad. Apparently, a couple of Romanian gypsies, dressed in fake police uniform stopped these Chinese tourists not far from the hotel (Fitzrovia) and asked them to show them their visas - i.e. 'making sure they were entitled to be in the UK', Stole all their credit cards, wallets, etc. It was so sad. This reception girl was trying to explain to them that in the UK police officers do not check visas in the streets, that it was an old scam, used mainly on Chinese tourists, and that they reported a Romanian gang to the local station just a while back but nobody was arrested, etc. etc,

I’d have told her to come with me and we’ll sort something out, and then approached the nearest member of British transport police.

Or told her to fuck off. Depending on the mood I was in.

Honestly these people who say “I’d rather take the chance” are part of the problem.

If it weren’t for the bleeding hearts these scum wouldn’t get away with scamming billions of pounds out of people every year.

And realistically how many people carry cash? She would probably have offered to go with you to the ATM if you’d said you didn’t.

Honestly these gullible idiots are part of the reason why scams are so rife.

“Had her bag stolen” my arse.

I've given money occasionally when I've believed them (most of the time I don't). Never more than I could comfortably afford without really noticing. Once, it was obvious I'd been scammed almost immediately. A few other times I have no idea, and one time I got a message off her after (I'd let her text her husband from my phone, so he had my number) thanking me and became facebook friends with her. Unless she runs a very elaborate long-con as a teacher, she was genuine.

I never give those people money just on principle. They tend to pick women to ask because they feel that women, more than men, will feel guilty about saying no.