AIBU to wonder if giving cash to a stranded tourist was naive

[LovingLilacDuck]

I just got approach by a tourist woman in Paddington who said she got her purse stolen in Oxford Street. She asked me for some cash as she had to put blockage on all her bank cards because they were stolen. And she needed the cash to go to her hotel or something like that. She was good looking, she said she was a lawyer from Amsterdam and was soft spoken but also a little nervous. And she was so happy when I gave her the cash that she gave me a hug and thanked me in a genuine way.

I helped her because she seemed genuine. Of course, there is a chance she could be a scammer herself so a part of me feels a bit sad and naive. But I just want to hope that she wasn’t and I helped a woman in need.

What would you do in this situation? I am just curious. xx

You were scammed.

When I lived in Dublin, there was this man with the loveliest Scottish accent who would hang around the D2 area stopping women. Can’t remember his exact sob story but it was very similar to the woman who scammed you. Something about being robbed on holiday, needing €20 to get a taxi back to his hotel where his father was waiting.

I never fell for it, but he did once approach me four times in as many days. When I pointed out I hadn’t fallen for it any of the previous days, he moved off to chase down his next intended victim.

It’s a very old scam, I’m afraid OP.

she said she was a lawyer from Amsterdam...

Bloody lawyers. Always fleecing someone.

Well I might well have given her some cash, but not £30. I'd have rather paid for an Uber or an Oyster card.
If she still had her phone then there would be nothing stopping her blocking her cards straight away, and in all likelihood she could have paid/booked an Uber with her phone, so I would have asked a few more questions.
I would have been keen to help but suspicious of someone (however well-dressed) who didn't look upset as well as nervous at asking a stranger for cash, as if it was me I'd rather walk than do that.

Why is giving directions dangerous

I’d ignore this poster @pouletvous. They seem to take pleasure in being goady and deliberately ignoring the obvious.
You’ve very clearly said why the person in question made you feel nervous.

You've been scammed, by a classic.

It's your money and if you can afford it then crack on but it was almost certainly a scam. I would not give money to anyone. Food / water fair enough. I don't think those situations are limited to London, it's the same in any city. It's also not a slur it's a well know truth. We have romas who go in shops and pretend to take things back but they've lost the receipt and they've literally just picked then up off the rail. Con artists I wouldn't trust any of them.

Years ago, a fairly well-dressed man used to hang around on the steps of Euston Square Station and do exactly this kind of scam. His phone was 'dead', his briefcase full of documents for a meeting, but he'd lost his wallet. Could someone please lend him his tube fare? He was well-spoken, desperate.
Seeing him for the second time, I really looked at him; the suit was filthy and frayed, the phone was ancient, the briefcase battered.
He looked remarkably like Rob Brydon 😂
Good scam though.

No op you're a really nice person. I just wanted to ask if you were interested in buying some magic beans I have?

Probably a scam. I usually give a small amount just in case so they can put it towards getting a tube. I think the police would have given her a lift if she had genuinely reported it though.

You seem to have completely failed to understand my post.

If it was me, I would have needed to take a cab, as I'm sure I would get lost in the tube. I went to London once and luckily I had a friend that knew exactly how to get around on the tube or I would probably still be wandering around down there.😁

Its one of the oldest scams in the book I'm afraid.

I think may be we are being a bit hard on the OP - I forget as a Londoner of 25 years how ingrained the reflex to be suspicious is in us and others don't have it (because you are lucky enough not to need to).

I was thinking about this when we were in a small French town a couple of weeks ago - we were sitting outside a bar chatting to some locals, a scruffy guy started approaching tables clearly either begging or seeing if he could take something, Mr Monkey and I, almost as an unconscious reflex action moved our bags to our laps and checked where our phones were. I hadn't realised it was obvious until one of the French people we were talking to laughed and said "you can tell you are Londoners".

Scams like this and similar happen all over @Ginmonkeyagain Here in the northern city I live in, the popular one is the old “I’ve lost my phone, can I use yours?” bullshit. With the number of scams riding, it’s better to be suspicious than gullible.

Many years ago, before mobile phones, on a trip abroad with my boyfriend, to a country with a lot of beggars, he went for a walk and was stopped in the street by a man in distress. Now the boyfriend gave money to noone, but this guy had a good story. He was very distressed about his relative who was in hospital, or something, and he wanted to send a telegram in English and needed help with it. I forget the details, it's a very long time ago! But anyway, boyfriend went with the guy, and ended up giving him some money. He felt he'd done the right thing.

The very next day I went out for a walk, and was stopped at the same junction by a guy who wanted to send a telegram and was in terrible distress. What are the odds . He hadn't asked for money (at that point) and was very upset. He was a great actor I guess as I felt terribly guilty for refusing him!

Oh, and why on earth would you give someone money for a taxi, even if they were genuine? Did her legs not work? She could have walked, that's why I would have done. Or, what's wrong with the bus/tube?

I don't think so (as a former longtime Londoner myself) -- the scam certainly isn't just a London thing. It was a regular thing outside Oxford railway station when I was a student there in the 90s (and I'd moved to Oxford from a sleepy rural area so wasn't a suspicious Londoner yet), and I've been approached in a similar way in Newcastle in about 2006/7/8. And when I lived in Paris aeons ago, various dropped ring and 'buy a bracelet' things were in operation there.

This is one of the weirdest parts: that somebody who is relying on the charity of strangers is automatically expecting them to buy them luxury travel.

It's the equivalent of going to a food bank, sobbing that you and your children are so desperately hungry, and so telling them that they need to give you caviar and Dom Perignon to help solve your problems!!

The fact that these people will unknowingly approach the same people with their scammy sob story on multiple occasions goes to show how utterly little they actually think of their victims.

You're absolutely nothing to them - just a generic, homogenous source of money that they have to tell you lies in order to unlock. Just like you don't over-effusively thank the shopkeeper when they allow you to hand over money in exchange for goods, or even consider that they've done you a massive favour - it's just business to them.

Any apparent shows of gratitude towards victims who do give them money will only be to either protect themselves whilst they move on from you, in case you get suspicious and angrily come after them; or as an 'industry'-wide best-practice to keep the 'but they might be genuine' sympathy taps flowing for them and their like the next time, and the next time, and the next.

I have come across this quite a few times. People claiming to have been mugged/ limping with a bandage on their leg/ no money for a train fare home, on the phone to “mum” trying to sort it out. Saw the same guy doing this three times in the car park for a local theatre. He was quite convincing but a total scam artist. I think you have been duped I am afraid!

This has reminded me of a middle aged guy who used to stand outside Deansgate station in Manchester asking for taxi fare to the Salvation Army - which was 10 minutes walk away; it's all gone now with the First Street development. He always wore the kind of clothes that someone who has just been released from a long prison sentence might be wearing - cheap shoes, cheap shirt and cheap trousers - clean enough but ill-fitting. He used to get irritated when I used to point in the direction of Chester Street (not to be confused with Chester Road) - "10 minutes walk over there"

Err no, you hoped it wasn't a scam and using kids to make you feel sorry for them and it worked. You were hoping giving the money made you a good person but it makes you a fool. It's OK we all make mistakes.

Yes you have completely misunderstood, and haven’t even managed to read my post properly, but that’s ok we can’t all be the brain of Britain.

Trafficked professional begging, pickpocketing and retail crime is commonplace in London. You see professional beggars on a daily basis some with kids & some without. What you see superficially as “scam” is in many cases exploitation.

I rarely give money to beggars but my gut feeling in this instance was this woman needed the money - and it wasn’t particularly because she had kids with her.