AIBU to wonder if giving cash to a stranded tourist was naive

[LovingLilacDuck]

I just got approach by a tourist woman in Paddington who said she got her purse stolen in Oxford Street. She asked me for some cash as she had to put blockage on all her bank cards because they were stolen. And she needed the cash to go to her hotel or something like that. She was good looking, she said she was a lawyer from Amsterdam and was soft spoken but also a little nervous. And she was so happy when I gave her the cash that she gave me a hug and thanked me in a genuine way.

I helped her because she seemed genuine. Of course, there is a chance she could be a scammer herself so a part of me feels a bit sad and naive. But I just want to hope that she wasn’t and I helped a woman in need.

What would you do in this situation? I am just curious. xx

Usual London scammer. They are often well spoken and look smartly dressed but its an old trick

It’s perfectly fine for you to remain cynical.

I know I want to continue having the view that I have, too.

It's a real shame that scams have now become the norm, so that in the highly unlikely event that somebody is genuine, they would just never be believed.

Scammers ruined the concept of The Big Issue and took it away from genuine homeless people. I just assume that anybody selling it now is going to be a fake. As PP says, it's sad that they are probably being exploited as well; but if I bought a magazine from them, I would just be perpetuating things and continuing to make it worthwhile for their handlers to keep on exploiting them.

Scammers have even put paid to the humble telephone call, as 9 out of 10 calls will now be a scammer. Instead of hearing your phone ring and wondering who it might be to brighten your day or give you some useful information, you just now hear it and automatically assume it will be a scamming timewaster - probably on autodial, so they don't waste their own time.

You try to hope and look for the good in people; but the well has been so completely poisoned, you have to assume scam by default now every time a stranger approaches you or calls you.

I'm not cynical, I'm contemptuous of the blatant untruth

Yep - scammers are ruining this world. After Grenfell there were people pretending to be victims to get free stuff and money.

so now the next time there’s a disaster the people giving out the aid are going to either be more careful and make it harder for genuine victims, or take the risk of paying out to scammers and then there’s less going to genuine victims

It’s a scam. But I’m hardened from living in big cities for a long time - it’s actually horrible to have gone so cynical. Put it down to experience and appreciate your lovely soft soul.

I think these scammers that exploit kindness are just the worst.

Im not a londoner, but also not stupid! I travel to London quite a lot with work, if someone asked me for money (which they have) I say I don't carry cash, because well I don't and I'd get away as fast as possible, people will distract you by engaging you like this to mug you. A well dressed "good looking" female is the perfect cover, rather than your scruffy (insert nationality) women you expect to mug you. Someone like how you describe this woman (lawyer, decent job, on the move lots) would have apple/android pay on both their phone and watch, they would not be carrying just a purse with cards, come on now.

If you went back later on you can bet she'd still be loitering the same area talking to other people, and she will carry on as naive people like you will hand over cash.

You would think that, if she were genuinely a Dutch lawyer, she would have handed you her card with her photo and all her contact details, to pay you back as soon as she could.

Or at least, if her purse with all of her business cards had actually been stolen, she could have told you her business website, so you could see her photo in an official context and confirm who she was.

Unfortunately, she did neither of these because she was a scammer. Even the asking you if you're from London was carefully targeted, knowing that a visitor would be less used to the scam. She probably also scopes out people who are carrying suitcases, looking at maps or just generally don't look like they know exactly what they're doing and where they're going in their home city.

£30?!?!? We live in a cash less world. You’ve definately been done.

For those helping teenagers, I once as a teen had my bag stolen in London, and begged the fare home.

I was greatful someone helped me, I really was stuck, but it was a tiny amount

So she could check your gullibility level.

Most likely a scammer. I have fallen for their sob stories twice when younger. Both times I was in an EU country on holiday. Now my rule is keep walking and don't listen to the spiel.

Yes, many of the tragedies that people will lie about and exploit to make money - they're truly breathtaking in their callousness.

Even your 'everyday' telephone scammers, such as you see on Scam Interceptors are clearly overjoyed when they hear a confused-sounding elderly voice on the phone - and they are relentless and utterly without mercy.

I agree, 25 years in London makes you very suspicious. I'd have told her where the police station was.

You’re a darling 😘

You have been well and truly scammed OP,this is a common one in London.

I dont think its lovely to encourage belief in scammers !

I am a compassionate person and not cynical at all. But anyone on this thread saying oh it is good to stay positive and give random people money is just putting vulnerable people at risk of being scammed

This is a scam as old as the hills. She could have walked to her hotel or the police could have called her hotel and helped her get back there

There is nothing niceneither about giving begging women money on the tube. They are part of criminal gangs

I would be happy to help a tourist find the police however or give them my time sorting out any problems.

I suspect this thread now as it makes me think it's written to encourage people to trust scammers

This reminds me of a few years ago when I had a woman approach me saying she was an asylum seeker living in temp accommodation, and needed stuff to make sandwiches for her kids. She asked if I would bring her to a supermarket for bread, cheese etc. I’d been out for lunch with a friend and had a couple of glasses of wine, so off we went. Once we were in the supermarket she started picking up wheels of Camembert and wedges of Stilton - I expected a block of cheddar and some ham. I paid up, but what an idiot.

I lost my wallet in Paris (or maybe had it stolen, no idea). I walked a couple of hours back to the hotel, it didn't occur to me to beg for taxi money.

100000% a scam, sorry OP. Most people in London will have fallen for it at least once in their life though (myself and husband both included) so don’t feel bad, just chalk it up to experience.

I used to live near one of the big central London stations and I’d see the same few scam artists doing their thing every few weeks or so. Always so polite, well spoken, with a terribly embarrassed story about how they’d somehow found themselves stranded and just needed a few quid. Laughing and hugging and shaking hands with the generous souls who’d come to their rescue.

Once I had one of them, a woman, come up to me sobbing and begging for help. I cut her off and said ‘I see you here all the time’ and she stopped dead in her tracks, instantly snapped out of it and muttered something like ‘oh, balls’ before walking off to find someone else.

Think about what you’d actually do if you got mugged in a foreign country. Would you really head to the nearest major transport hub to ask random strangers for cash? Or would you speak to police/station staff to get help? Or call your hotel, your country’s embassy or even your family/employer back home to ask them to arrange some help? I can think of a million better and more sensible courses of action than asking strangers to give me £30.

I think it's very important to realise that these people aren't just 'trying it on' now and again. To them, it's their actual job and how they earn their livelihood (or their keep if they're being trafficked/working for a handler). It's just as important - and familiar - to them as whatever your own job is to you.

The Indian scam call centres are big, impressive business concerns. They have shiny offices, a corporate hierarchy, hands-on management, targets, key performance indicators, appraisals, promotions, bonuses... they take it extremely seriously. They probably even pay 'tax', albeit more in the form of a bribe to officials to turn a blind eye, rather than in the standard way. It's just that, instead of running a shop, cleaning offices, working as a teacher or in accounts or on a building site or whatever, they proudly work for Scamarama, where their main task is calling strangers in wealthier countries and deceiving and lying to them in order to take money from them.

My dh got stopped by a man who had lost everything in Liverpool st. He gave him £30 too. He also genuinely believed him and felt annoyed with himself when I suggested it may have been a scam. As long as you’ve given something affordable for you, just think of the positive - that you did a kind thing.

"I'm so sorry, I don't carry cash, let me look up the nearest police station, they will be able to help".

Another Londoner here. Please do not give these people anything. If you want to help and be kind give to a real charity.