AIBU to object to my partner bringing her brother on dates?

[Snooopdog]

For full transparency I am a male.

I have been seeing a woman for a few months now but it’s starting to go wrong and I don’t know if it’s me.

She seems to be obsessed with her brother. When we first met she talked about him all the time, everytime we went anywhere she would comment on how her brother would like this and wouldn’t like that etc etc. one time she actually brought him on a date! I was waiting for her at a restaurant and they both walked in, I had met him previously so no introductions needed - she said he was at a loose end so she invited him along. I ended up cutting the date short after the meal and later commented that I was disappointed that she had brought her brother along as it was meant to be a date. She went ape shit and accused me of trying to control the time she spends with her family. Not at all, I just don’t want her brother on our date!! Was this really so unreasonable of me?

Last weekend she invited me to hers for dinner, brother was there when I arrived. I then learn he’s staying for dinner. I didn’t say anything after the last shit storm but again just ended up cutting it short.

Now, tomorrow we have plans to go York for the day, it’s been planned for a while. She messsged me this morning asking if I’d mind if brother comes. I said “yes actually, we planned it as a day away together, having brother there totally changes the dynamics”. She didn’t reply for ages and has just messaged me back now saying “ok, never mind”. ??

Prepared to accept I’m being unreasonable if that’s the general consensus

1. She's not your partner. (Is she even your girlfriend at this point?!)
2. She's not partner / girlfriend / casual date material not unless you want a three-way relationship with her and her brother. END IT!

This. I’d move along and find someone else, frankly.

Is anyone else thinking of that friends episode when Rachel is dating Danny and she meets his sister!!!!!

As others say..it's weird and you need to get rid.
What exactly happens when she brings him on a date ?
Does he join in the conversation ? Do you have to buy his drinks ? Does he stand there watching while you kiss her goodnight ?
Take me to York instead...I haven't got a brother..

Sorry, I accidently clicked yabu. YaNbu.

That’s so bizarre. I’d sort of understand first date (if she was scared you weren’t who you said you were) but ongoing? So weird.

WHy on earth would you go on a date with someone if you were scared and need a chaperone?

I cna imagine the replies on here idf a thread was startted because a man bought his sister along to all his dates the OP would be told to run a mile

Have you ever heard of horror stories when people OLD? Come on now, the world is crazy.

Yep do this! 😂

It sounds like the guy with the inappropriate sister who dated Rachel on Friends

Ok I know I might be going too far here BUT it sounds like perhaps she has being abused by her brother as kids, I say this as I know of a brother/sister pair that go round local area and they were absolutely doing things they shouldn’t have in younger years and no doubt still are, they are never ever with anyone else now, friends they would’ve had as teens seemed to have distanced themselves, he walks ahead of her dominantly and she scurry’s after him trying to keep up, you can see how she goes on she’s obsessed with him. They’re in their late 20’s/early 30’s now. Sounds like your creepy bro/sis duo are in a similar scenario. I can see why his wife is now his ex!! Also I know of another sibling duo who sadly were forced into things by a parent when they were kids, thankfully SS got involved and they were removed but not before the damage was long done, was through no fault of either of theirs but now both 40’s married with their own families you can see the admiration she has for her brother and as teens she got jealous when he had a gf, was odd behaviour but can understand the trauma she endured caused her to feel like that. They barely see each other now living in different countries but still in contact and you can still hear the admiration she has for him, just nothing like she used to, also she called her first kid after her brother too!!

I have a twin brother and never in a million years would I bring him on date with me 😂😂

I would end it.

Also, I would warn her that if she shoehorns her brother into dates with future men, it is likely that the future men will bail too. She will remain single for a very long time.

😂

She's batshit. Put her in the bin.

Very weird and you are wasting your time.
She went ape shit and you went back for more?
Very silly.

And mine!

Is he biologically her brother?

Is her surname Lannister by any chance? 😂 (GOT reference , trying to keep it light!!)

That's good to know 😀

If you really really like her I might say - whats going on?

Because if shes worried about him post split she might just be trying too hard to be kind.

Be clear you like her brother and an occasional meet up with mutal friends including him is great. But you need couple time just the two of you and when something Is presented as a date you want it to be one

Very weird. He could be some klnd of Chaperone or maybe they are trying to draw you in to some kind of weird sex cult or Swingers threesome.

Not healthy. Drop her pronto