Do you feel you have a better quality of life than your parents?

[justponderingalong]

Just pondering really because I can’t get off to sleep. My upstairs neighbors are re arranging furniture 🙄 and I was thinking how lovely it would be to have a house like my parents did when I was a child so I didn’t have to listen to it ! When I think back my mum was a stay at home mum and my dad worked for the council. Me and my husband have what I would consider better jobs but we couldn’t afford a detached with a big garden. My parents deffo had a better lifestyle than my grandparents so I’m wondering if it’s a generational thing ? I imagine the next generation will probably be feeling like my generation won the lottery by having a flat so I know I’m lucky. What changed the each generation doing better than the last thing or is that a myth ?

Yes, at the age I am now I have a better life than my parents had at the same age. However, I couldn’t match my mum now since my dad passed, he’d been a very astute man. I think he was so focused on us having more than he did when growing up that he had been financial/investment planning for the future well.

God no. I live in a room that the landlord calls a flat, with a shared kitchen, my hours at work have been cut to 6 in 4 weeks, apparently I've fallen foul of the benefits cap so I'm not even getting my full rent paid and no personal allowance.

No.

My dad earned around £50k in the late 80s and thats worth £130k today. He didn't have a degree, he sold cars. We moved to massive 6 bed house that cost £70k at thar time, less than £200k in today's money. Probably worth 1.5 million today.

I'm earning a little more than 50k and live in a 4 bed semi that was around £200k 15 years ago.

No comparison really.

My parents both worked very hard full time as teachers and us children shared bedrooms in an ex council house without a garden. I have a huge garden, my kids have their own rooms, and one of us works part time, so it feels like luxury. We have made some very sensible money decisions over the years and are content with simple pleasures. I think my standard of living is probably similar or slightly better.

No. My parents bought houses at low prices when there was mortgage interest relief. They traded up when they received substantial inheritances. Both have high public sector pensions.

DH and I were lucky to buy when house prices were more affordable. But we have defined contribution pensions.

My grandparents were very poor. My paternal grandma had been in the workhouse til she was 13 and went in to service at a doctor’s house. My parents were lucky to get a newly built council house, with inside toilet, in 1948. The social housing I grew up in was very good. My father tried to talk my brother and me out of our decisions to buy our own homes. He saw a mortgage as a big debt. It is. We both now live mortgage free. Not sure our home is ‘better’ than my family home was. My daughters live in big houses, worth considerably more. In London and another big city. Going to university enabled my husband and me to earn more. We were first generation graduates. My daughters have several degrees and professional qualifications, as have their husbands. They earn a great deal and spend a lot. Who knows what jobs will be around when their children, still in primary schools, need jobs. It’s not black and white at all.

Yes I'm much better off than my parents have ever been. My parents worked in very low skilled jobs all their lives, my dad worked pt and sporadically due to ill health and my mum became disabled and unable to work too before she was 60. I had free school meals as a child and max funding for uni as their income was minimal, they weren't expcted to make a parental contribution. Neither of them studied beyond age 16. They own a small 3 bed house in outer London and claim pension credit.

I am a high earner and married a high earner, we have 2 dcs at private school and own a 4 bed house in central London, we have regular holidays abroad and money for any extracurriculars and trips out the dcs want. We have defined contribution pensions which have done well because we've made good investment decisions with them. We didn't get on the housing ladder early but we were able to buy due to good salaries and a smart investment strategy.

Roughly the same in many ways I guess.

I was brought up by a single dad as my mum died when I was young. He was a teacher so a reasonable income and had school holidays off.

We had pretty nice houses, always had a car, holidays in uk or France. Could afford everything we needed and most of what we wanted.

DH and I both earn a lot more but the cost of living seems much harder to cover. We could never manage on one salary.

We have a nice house though it needs a lot of work doing that we can’t afford. We have decent enough cars (quite old now but running fine). Manage to take the kids on holiday every other year abroad and something cheaper in between. Can’t afford what we need and some of what we want.

so yes, many differences of course as times change, but overall similar quality I think.

I have a fat better quality of life than both my parents. My mum was dead by the time she was 2 years younger than I am now and I'm in much better health than my dad at the same age. I have a healthier and more comfortable life all round. (Similar type of terraced house)

Yes, Dh and I have a much better lifestyle and quality of life than our parents. That is partly because financially we are better off. Or at least made better financial decisions. I’m not sure if we have a higher income, maybe it’s about the same, but we made much better decisions with it. We definitely have better quality of life and a happier family life.

My parents were very money driven, worked long hours, little quality time together, not super happy home life. Dh’s similar had a lot of work stress, Dh’s dad died of alcoholism. We have really good work life balance, earn well, don’t have to work full time (either of us), bigger house, more leisure time, time as a family.

I don’t think so.

Our early years were spent in absolute poverty (teen parents - as in high school) and for a long time they took turns in working or training. My mum was a stay at home for the first 6 years of my life, whilst my dad worked 18 hour days in factories so they could buy their own tiny little Salford terrace and put food on the table, which they did. When we went to school, my mum went to college, and got her qualifications, she worked as a nursery nurse then and at that point my dad went back to college to get his qualifications, because without them he couldn’t progress. Eventually my mum was able to do her teaching qualification, and become a head teacher (I would have been 16 at this time) my dad then got a management position, and a senior management position on 6 figures around the same time. Rapidly, our life shifted, and we moved from a terraced house to a large detached. Instead of a haven holiday every three years, we went to the south of France.

Of course, thanks to the way the brought me up, the hard work, team work I witness and replicated, and financial support provided when I became pregnant in my final year of university, as well as a hefty financial contribution to my first house, I have been able to provide that upbringing to my sons from birth. As an adult; I have never known financial struggle or worry. As a child, my sons have never had to hunt for change down the side of the sofa to buy a loaf of bread.

i am not sure they are any happier though. I had an amazingly happy and full childhood, and my children have that too.

No, of course not- the average standard of living has slipped considerably, and continues to slip.
Neither of my parents went to university, but they both earned more than my partner and I who both went to university. The huge increase in the price of housing means we live in a much smaller home than either of us grew up in as children, we could not afford to have children , if we wanted a reasonable quality of life.
My parents had a better or the same standard of living than theirs, but the huge boost to meritocracy, health , education and wealth - fuelled by the high taxation of very rich people is over,and has been really since the 80's, without a better taxation plan for the very wealthy living standards can only fall further.

Absolutely not. When I was a child we could afford holidays, pets, days out. These days with half the children they had, not a chance.

Financially, no, but that is mainly due to the rise in the cost of living. She could afford to buy a terraced house outright in her very late teens/very early twenties, and after inheriting a house, had enough money to buy her sibling out. I earn more than she does, but still can't afford to buy a house outright, unless I wish to buy a terraced house in a very deprived area. We grew up in a detached house in a nice part of what was seen to be an affluent area.

However... although life isn't perfect, I think that I am happier than she was at my age. I wasn't frog-marched down the aisle to someone that I wouldn't have married if I hadn't been unexpectedly pregnant with their child. I am not shackled with someone who is apparently an absolute joy at work, and a misery at home. I do not have children crying because of what their dad was like. Life got much better for all of us when he died. These days, my mother is very much tied to the area where she grew up, works, and has been the one to care for all ill and dying relatives. She has a very small world, never travelling further than the few nearest towns, partly due to time and confidence, but also because my grandfather over-emphasised the dangers of driving on the motorway (in reality, he viewed anywhere outside of our village as Dangerous, so he'd be spinning in his grave if he knew that all of his grandchildren had moved out). I did not want that life, so I got out as soon as I could. I have successfully resisted the village's Curse/draw that brings people who dare to move out back into the fold... even the ones that tried out living in places as far away as Australia!

I have a better quality of life than my mum because I don’t suffer with the terrible anxiety that has plagued her for many years and for which she refuses to seek help.
Financially she’s better off than me and it proves that having money doesn’t necessarily make you happy.

Parents generation definitely better currently (boomers).

DC need to forge their own independence though IMO and live in house shares, not stay beyond their late teens with parents.

I don’t think current “stay at home and save for a deposit” mentally you see on MN is healthy for either side.

My Parents had a good quality of life mostly. For a long time, they lived the high life and didn’t seem to work too hard. They then went through a short patch of having to work hard without loads of money due to poor business decisions but soon inherited enough to buy another big house and retire themselves. Their retirement is very comfortable. I have worked hard full time since I left university. I don’t own my own property but do have a good salary now. My quality of life is good but I prioritise holidays and experiences over anything else. So I do take better holidays than they ever did, but the flat I live in is no way near as nice as the houses they lived in. Horses for courses I guess.

I have a much better standard of living than my parents had. Houses were cheap then so we had a 3 bed semi growing up. Mum was a SAHM until we were teenagers. We weren't well off at all. Never hungry but every penny was hard earned by dad and budgetted. Not many treats and week at Butlins once a year. It got better for them once we left home and they are comfortable now. I was also one of the lucky ones in that i could afford my home at 23 (early 90's). Modest income but again houses were affordable. I consider myself well off in comparison. Im careful with money but if I want something I can generally afford it. My mum and dad never could at my age. Its my kids who are going to struggle. Everything is so expensive and houses are pricey. One is renting the others still at home.

DH and I have a better standard of living than his parents or my parents.

Difficult to say, it just feels different. My parents were able to buy a much bigger house (Dad was 33 when they bought a 4 bed detached house, I'm 48 and still on the 2 bed terrace I bought at 28 - but then 28 year olds today may not even be able to afford that), but the mortgage interest was high and there wasn't a lot of disposable income. We didn't go abroad until I was 16 (an overnight in Calais), even though Dad's income was good with company car and mobile phone when people didn't have those.
But my income is relatively low compared to my parents, I'm only benefitting from being a child/grandchild of middle class people with money, and it's the same for most of my friends. Take that safety net away and I wouldn't be so well off. I paid my mortgage off 5 years ago with an inheritance, and future inheritances are likely to be large, but I don't feel I've been able to achieve as much as they did.
Also the weird thing that despite my dad retiring at the point of being in a high tax bracket, his monthly pension exceeds what he earned on retirement. He got a pay rise by stopping earning, and that feels wrong.

We are better off than my parents but standard of life is a little lower, mainly due to the amount of domestic help they had.

I think similar to my parents, if anything slightly better.

I have similar size house, we probably spend a bit more because my parents were savers. So things like they never ate out when we children were at home, whereas we enjoy it as a family.
I know they really struggled with the mortgage through the 80s when interest rates were 12-17% to be able to pay it. At one point most of the income was going straight into the mortgage, whereas we've never had that worry.
I work full time whereas my mum generally worked about half time, so we have a bit more cash about, I suppose, but my dad did most of the maintenance round the house, whereas dh doesn't have the knowledge.

I think what makes the big difference though is that they live up north in a small village without a lot going on, whereas we're SE with easy access to London, so my dc have had far better experiences (I'm also more inclined to take advantage of opportunities offered than they were) than we did as dc. My siblings sometimes have complained about my dc being "far more lucky" than theirs in a similar way as they still live there.

But for my parents:
My dad had a vastly better quality of life, as he was brought up in absolute poverty. I suspect my mum had a slightly lower quality of life, from the little I know about it.

My life is a billion times better than my parents’ at my age. They had it really hard.
Honestly, I think a lot of people have no real idea how hard things used to be. They take so much for granted and consider things ‘basic human rights’ that were in no way guaranteed (and in fact quite hard to achieve) for earlier generations.

Yes my life has defintely been better !
Much more freedom, independance & opportunities

My parents lived through WW2
Rationing until 1954
Less rights for women

I have a much better standard of life, my dad was a single parent, I was brought up in a council flat, no generational wealth and we didn’t have luxuries or holidays abroad or anything like that. We got by but there was never enough money left over for anything more. I started on the property ladder at 22 and was able to buy a fairly large 3 bed house alone 6 years ago. I now have two children who already have thousands in ISAa and premium bonds, I don’t have to scrimp, we do multiple holidays per year and I have a good amount of savings. My children have never known any hardship and whilst I’m proud of the fact that we’ve built that life for them, I also think my upbringing is where a lot of my resilience and determination came from