Do you feel you have a better quality of life than your parents?

[justponderingalong]

Just pondering really because I can’t get off to sleep. My upstairs neighbors are re arranging furniture 🙄 and I was thinking how lovely it would be to have a house like my parents did when I was a child so I didn’t have to listen to it ! When I think back my mum was a stay at home mum and my dad worked for the council. Me and my husband have what I would consider better jobs but we couldn’t afford a detached with a big garden. My parents deffo had a better lifestyle than my grandparents so I’m wondering if it’s a generational thing ? I imagine the next generation will probably be feeling like my generation won the lottery by having a flat so I know I’m lucky. What changed the each generation doing better than the last thing or is that a myth ?

@Sausagessss I worry for them too 😢

No. And I’m not sure if they had a better quality of life from their parents because times were different (I can only speak of my mothers side as Dad’s was complicated).
My maternal grandparent (born in the late 1800s) had a typical upper middle class household which included a nanny and cook and gardener. All the kids went to boarding school.
My family were the same though fortunes up and down due to illness but we had a nice house and two cars, though no staff and state schools but that’s what middle class people did in the 1970s.
On paper my DH earned more than any of them, even accounting for inflation. But cost of living was much higher too and we couldn’t have afforded the house I grew up in. But still, our children went to private school, two cars etc. But was it better than my parents? No. Were my parents better off then theirs? No. But that’s because they started at a high level - there was no social mobility needed. Yes I have more conveniences (online shopping, washer/dryer, mobiles), whereas my mother had to deal with cloth nappies no dishwasher (til we were teenagers) and a pathetic b&w TV, but those are just things. They had what was normal at the time.

@SomeoneIsWrongOnTheInternetmaybe it’s mainly the housing situation that has got worse and other things have improved. My grandma died very young from an infection that I think would be totally survivable today so there is that too.

@mondaytosundayyour family history sounds fascinating, I am loving hearing these stories although some of them are incredibly sad 😔.

Nope. They had a nice 3 bed semi with large gardens. Dad worked a lot but low paid and mum didn’t work (she’s a lazy bastard and it’s why they split up - she refused to get a job). We had horses and lots of small pets too.

Me and DH work 6 jobs and barely see our kids as they’re in wrap around care. Our house is a bigger 4 bed semi but it’s so expensive to run. Financially we’re better off than they were but it’s not a happy life working ourselves to death, which is what it feels like we’re doing.

In the 70s women worked less than now.
There were a lot of depressed housewives

@P00hsticks I think it would be nice to have the choice and I suppose that’s what we don’t really have now. I don’t think my mum hated it I think she really enjoyed it but of course everyone is different.

I am so much better off than my parents. They had a council house. Never had any money though DF worked his fingers to the bone. My DC have good jobs and are home owners. They have far more income than I ever had.

That is certainly true and being able to buy has changed everything, having a bit of security, better housing standards and our own independence. Which is why I would have appreciated having the same option to buy earlier, as they did, especially as I worked much harder for it. My nan also died relatively young from cancer. But you asked about parents generation. My mum is still with us, enjoying the long retirement paid for by people like me who will not see the same benefit, after working much less all her life. What she has done with that retirement is not what I would have chosen but that’s on her. She was not short of options that I would have taken up.

@PissedOffNeighbour22 I am a pissed of neighbor too ! I have to admit I did laugh at the lazy bastard bit 😂🙈. I’m so sorry that’s how things are for you it’s so hard isn’t it ! Things seem so much worse since Covid too it feels financially anyway. You are absolutely troopers for working all those hours you much be so exhausted.

@SomeoneIsWrongOnTheInternet that’s a hard one isn’t it 🙈 I would actually say quite similar for my own mum tbh. Her main thing she does at the moment is watches a lot of gb news ! I noticed someone else mentioned that the other day too she’s obsessed with it 🙈 I could shake her sometimes but on the whole she is lovely.

Thank you for all the replies btw I didn’t expect so many. It really is very interesting I don’t know if I will ever get to sleep now 😂

No. We have more money than they did but we have a child with additional needs that is very challenging to care for and a young baby and no support at all. My parents had two neurotypical, well behaved children and constant access to free childcare from their own parents. I often think about how much easier my life would be if I had even a small fraction of the help that they did. My husband and I haven’t had a single break since our son was born and we spend no time together just the two of us.

Yes not dictated to get married come the age of 18. As was common in the 60’s/70’s as soon as one turned 18 they were married off.

i remember my parents making my grandparents lives more comfortable.

Were sensory issues known in the 80’s as opposed to today?

My parents were actually quite comfortably off, we lived abroad as expats for 20 years or so, my DF had a good job with an oil company. Sadly he died too young, in his late 50s, which was devastating for my Mum but she was left well provided for.
But DH and I also had well paid jobs and are now retired with good pensions and in reasonable health. Touch wood!

God, yes. As a teenager my mum had to get up at 5.30 a.m. in winter to start laying the coal fire, while her mum was convalescing with asthma and her dad was out at work as a brick layer. My dad was sharing a mattress with his two younger brothers in a two up, two down, similar to my mum's home.

I remember myself living in an Edwardian terrace with single glazing, zero insulation and no central heating. Winters were bitterly cold, and yes, we had ice on the inside of the windows.

My life now - and thankfully, for my parents, now in their eighties - is no comparison.

I dont know.

Parents - one not outstanding wage funded a modest 3 bed detached in a nice area, 3 kids and a holiday abroad most years. All had to be budgeted and I gather there were some hairy moments but for the most part it was fine. They also had a lot of family support and things like no one paid for school meals, cheap childcare etc.

Me and DH - need 2 wages to fund a small 2 bed terrace in need of work in a good area in a dodgy city. One child. Sporadic holidays. Not been abroad for over 10 years. No freebies anymore. No family support.

I'd say we have a bit more disposable income but that is due to having 1 child. If we had more, momey would be a lot tighter. We couldnt afford my parents house.

It's looking like we'll be going down to one wage soon and I'm worrying. Ironically my parents have offered us money to help out when that happens.

@Strawberrycheesecake7 I’m sorry that sounds really tough 😔. My parents had my grandad for childcare he lived very nearby and we spent a lot of time there fond memories 🥰 I do notice that it’s mentioned a lot now that grandparents don’t help as much as their parents did.

@UnctuousUnicorns sounds like they had a very hard life.

I definitely have a much better quality of life than my parents did at my age. We lived in a council house and money was very tight. Holidays weren’t a thing. They had no luxuries. Skip to today and at the same age (early 40s) we own our own home, can take our kids on holidays and outings etc, and have enough money that we don’t need to worry about how it’s going to stretch to the end of the month. We’re not rich by any means but I feel very lucky.

Yes

I have had a totally different life to that of my parents. My father was traditional working class and had no appreciation of the value of education in raising oneself. He ever saw it as being a "traitor to your class" and used that phrase to me more than once. I went into a profession and evolved into a lifestyle very different from that of my parents and always considered myself to be middle class. I grew
further and further away from them as I grew older.

Definitely better. My mother was a SAHM until I was in my early teens, but I think she was stifled and generally unhappy in that role. She was extremely bright and energetic, and she could have had a much more fulfilling life. When she went back to work, she absolutely blossomed. My dad had a professional career, and my mother should have had that opportunity too IMO. I could be a SAHM or my DH could be a SAHD, but neither of us would want that. I feel fortunate that I am able to pursue the professional career of my choice.

My parents bought a large house for very little money (relatively speaking) which has vastly increased in value over the years. My DH and I were able to buy a nice house, not as large but a decent size. I expect it will also increase in value though not to the extent that my parents' house has.

In general, life was considerably more difficult for my parents. They had fewer conveniences, they owned a single car, usually had one seaside holiday for a fortnight each year. We have two cars, many labour saving devices, holidays abroad most years.

My parents had the potential to have a much better life than me but squandered all their chances so now I am much better off than them. My children I worry for.

I earn well into 6 figures and DH also earns well. My DF was a dentist who retired at 50 and my DM never worked.

I was brought up in a large detached house in a very nice area which was paid entirely from my DF earnings. There was no inheritance. Myself and my 2 siblings all went to private school.

I couldn’t afford to lead anywhere near the same life as my parents despite a household income that in real terms dwarfs what my parents had. I’ll also not be able to retire at the same age DF did.

At a rough calculation and assuming you are funding everything yourself with no inheritance and no state or other external support, I think if you were brought up in a single income household with a SAHP you would now need both parents to work in a similar level job to fund a lifestyle comparable to that which your parents had.

Anecdotally, in my parent’s road every time a house comes up for sale it is typically bought by a couple who are both doctors or something similar. They are never bought by single income families yet when I was living there as a child I can’t recall a single woman who worked. They were all funded by a single professional.