To re-think friendship over this?

[carelesswhispers9]

have a friend who is unemployed and has a little one and so do I.
We took out children out on a pre-arranged trip to a theme park and as 2 adults and 2 children was cheaper than individual tickets I bought the family ticket online and she agreed to pay me her half cash on the day, she didn’t, she turned up without any money but promised to give it to me at the weekend but she forgot, she then said she would give it to me when she saw me a few days later, she didn’t.
A couple of weeks later we met up again and I asked her if she had my money and she laughed and said “you’re not still going on about that are you?
I said I kind of need it and she said “oh come on you work and have money, I don’t.
I don’t have a lot of money and wouldn’t have agreed to it if I thought she wouldn’t give me the money as I also drove nearly 2 hours each way on my petrol.

I am unlikely to ever see this money again but our children get along and we do have a good time together, would you let it go or phase out the friendship?

She has never asked me for money ever but I was just annoyed as it felt like she tried to ridicule me for “still going on about it, when she obviously assumed I would just let it go and move on.

If she hasn’t previously asked for money I’d drop it . Especially since you enjoy her company. But in future I would only arrange things that don’t cost anything. Like play dates at your house or going to a playground.

Ah yes the old "you work so you should pay for me" excuse.
Yes I'd end the friendship.

This x

Friends don’t treat each other like that. She’s got little respect for you.

I’m sure if she did end up having money she’d still take the p*ss.

Other friends will be kinder. Phase her out.

My mind is completely blown by the amount of posters suggesting you still engage with this lowlife!? Madness. Why on earth would you want this disrespectful, lying, gaslighting grifter in yours or your child’s life? Cringing with secondhand embarrassment for them. The cheek.

How could you move forward with this relationship, even if you wanted to? This would always be in the background.

It’s not even that she didn’t pay you back. Maybe something happened and she doesn’t have the money now. But to ridicule you when you asked for it back? Unforgivable.

Unless your child is in a position to really need the friendship, I’d drop contact with the mum. My worry would be as our kids got older, the behaviour of their parent would continue and be perpetuated through them. And if your kids ever got into a sticky situation, who do you think would be left to take the blame?

Surely there are better people out there with which to spend your time.

I'd keep the friendship going for the sake of the children and the good times, but make it clear there'll be no more one-sided funding of expensive treats.

If some outing comes up that requires money, ask if she really can afford it, and if not, cancel it or just go on your own.

i am going to a trampoline place with my daughters best friend and her mum today. I looked up
priced and the mum said to me can you book for us all please and I said yes, I booked, messaged and said it was x amount each and within 10 minutes I had her payment in my bank account.
thats normal behaviour. I can’t understand any other reaction to your scenario!! Why haven’t you just given her your bank details, why hasn’t she asked for them, why is she giving you cash?! I absolutely would phase out this friendship.

I’d not so much phase her out as drop her entirely.
She isn’t a nice person

£176 a a large chunk of money, and you drove as well!

I’d be messaging her (and in a bloody group chat with other friends if you have one) and ask for the money back.
hi, just a quick message to confirm you have my bank details for the money for the theme park day. Your half of the tickets is £ . Don’t worry about the petrol, that’s on me.

And I wouldn’t want the petrol to be all my cost but I’d lose that to make a point! I wouldn’t let it go at all, this isn’t a £5 coffee and her comment was damn rude!

Why are you letting this go? Hound her for it and add on petrol

I might have been able to manage my feelings about the money … except for that comment !! She moved from friend into CF and that would be then end of it for me.

I agree. It’s the way she went about it. The expectation that it shouldn’t be an issue because she’s not working is so unreasonable. It’s one thing to treat someone when that’s the understanding in the first place, but that’s not the situation here.

Dump her , selfish bitch

She is a CF, and that's on her. It's not "silly" to trust, but it would be to allow her the opportunity to do it again. I think what you do depends on what you get from her friendship, but I'd start by laying it out for her. It might be the end of the friendship altogether, or it may be that she apologises for not having considered it from your side (probbably after a sulking period!) and you can move on from it with a greater awareness of her potential to abuse any generosity.

Personally, I'd find having to worry about her pushing the boundaries rather tiresome, and probably not bother, but as I said, if she brings something to your world that you can't get elsewhere, then maybe that's a 'price' you are willing to 'pay'. She can start by paying what was agreed if she's to have any hope of a continued friendship.

This would annoy me too as she committed to pay and then robbed you. It’s not for her to say that you have the money to cover for her. If your kids get on I would maintain a civil relationship but would never lend her money again. If she asks why say because she stole money from you previously.

I hear the sponger alarm going off! Block and move on.

To be clear - I would no longer have a friendship with her but would be civil for the children.

Fuck me, £90... she's a fucking thief and I'd tell her that to her face.

'Yes Susan, I am still going on about it, £90 is a weeks grocery shop that you have at this point, stolen from me.'

Absolutely this^

She played you for a mug @carelesswhispers9 . She never had any intention of paying you back! She plotted to get a free day out for her and her child at your expense

I couldn’t get past this! She’s a thief and it’s unforgivable.

Solo mum.

I'd fuck her off. No need for that shit OP.

She is no longer a friend.

Wow, thats a lot of money.

Id ditch her. She's a thief and she's not even embarrassed about it. You dont need CF in yout life.

A friend would put you only financial pressure. If I went away with my friend I would have paid my ticket, my share of the petrol and treated them to something for driving me. I dont have money. I would have saved up yo do it or not gone.

Also, in future you want money before you book stuff. It takes 2 minutes to transfer money now.

Hi op she’s a cheeky fucker who knew exactly what she was doing the fact she laughed at you is very disrespectful it’s not like it was a tenner I am not sure what your friendship will be like now but I would not go anywhere with her not even for a coffee she mugged you off. If she’s unemployed she probably would have got it cheaper as the government are giving them cheap days out. She’s basically robbed you then laughed in your face that was probably 2 days wages so what you work that doesn’t matter a lot of workers are struggling financially. Tbh I would be so pissed off with her.