To re-think friendship over this?

[carelesswhispers9]

have a friend who is unemployed and has a little one and so do I.
We took out children out on a pre-arranged trip to a theme park and as 2 adults and 2 children was cheaper than individual tickets I bought the family ticket online and she agreed to pay me her half cash on the day, she didn’t, she turned up without any money but promised to give it to me at the weekend but she forgot, she then said she would give it to me when she saw me a few days later, she didn’t.
A couple of weeks later we met up again and I asked her if she had my money and she laughed and said “you’re not still going on about that are you?
I said I kind of need it and she said “oh come on you work and have money, I don’t.
I don’t have a lot of money and wouldn’t have agreed to it if I thought she wouldn’t give me the money as I also drove nearly 2 hours each way on my petrol.

I am unlikely to ever see this money again but our children get along and we do have a good time together, would you let it go or phase out the friendship?

She has never asked me for money ever but I was just annoyed as it felt like she tried to ridicule me for “still going on about it, when she obviously assumed I would just let it go and move on.

I’d definitely ask her for it back again.

if she refuses, I’d calculate how many hours you worked to earn that money (after tax). Tell her she’s right, you do work and that is x hours of work you essentially had to do for no pay. all her money is free money. What an utter bitch.

Do you have any proof - eg a text message or a voicemail - that she was going to pay half? If yes, I think I’d be tempted to send her a letter before action and then take her to small claims court if that wasn’t enough to get her to cough up. It will cost £35 to do it but you will still be in profit and get the satisfaction of not letting the bitch get away with it.
Any requests for future meet ups: Sorry I can’t afford your ‘friendship’.

Ask her on fb...
Sh2bcan see how many people side with you.
Then when people question the inevitable fall out they can see why.

I would tell her to delete my number and i would not have anything more to do with her.
She is a thief.

Bloody hell , and petrol and food etc ? Did she pay for things during the day ?

She’s NOT your friend. Get rid.

Massive CF.
Suggest another day out for you all and make her pay for the ticket.
If she won't, them stop bothering with her.
Nobody wants to be friends with a freeloader.

I'd distance myself over this. It's dishonest and disrespectful.

Why haven't you challenged her? The only one who will advocate for you in this situation is you. You've been used and your response is meek compliance. You don't need to phase her out - the next time she messages you say "actually I've been thinking and I'm not interested in continuing a friendship with someone who pretended they'd pay me back and then didn't." Then smile politely if you see her around, nothing more.

It's not a fiver ... it's almost £90!
message her that you are offended that she thinks you have an obligation to pay for her, that the understanding was clear she was to pay her share and that she kept promising to pay, but hasn't to date and now laughs in your face about it.

Tell her the behaviour is unacceptable and that you expect payment by tomorrow or you will take further action and provide you bank details.
If she does not pay then file in small claims against her for the money and associated filing costs.

Due to the ridiculing and lying, I would start a money claim online. You recover the small cost from her. Attach evidence like texts / emails / receipts, including petrol. She'll never screw someone out of money again.

She’s a leach

She’s a CF… are your children at school together so they can they see each other there rather than you meeting up with her? I would put some distance between you until she realises that’s she’s taken the mick out of you and pays up.

She lied to you outright, intentionally, and admitted it without any embarrassment (saying afterwards that she would never have gone if she'd thought she had to pay, when she'd repeatedly assured you that she WOULD pay her half). I wouldn't have been bothered if she had said up front that she and her child would love to go but can't afford it and depending on the friendship and how well the children get on maybe I would have offered to pay for everyone, but it's difficult if not impossible to have a friendship with a liar who you can't trust.

Do you want her to disrespect you again. End this friendship now.

Id asked for the money via text and then screenshot any replies to get a trail of it to be honest. Then I wouldn't bother with her anymore

“Hi Sally. I know you may feel this is petty, but it doesn't feel that way to me. When you agreed to pay for your half of the theme park tickets and that still hasn't happened, it's left me feeling like my trust has been taken for granted. Whether or not that was your intention, it's had an impact on how I see the situation.

Trust is really important to me in any relationship, and this has sadly affected how I feel about our friendship. Given how close we've been, I'd genuinely like to talk about it and understand what happened. But I feel the next step needs to come from you.”

Instead of viewing her as a friend, view her as the mum of your child's friend that isn't good with money. You can meet up with her to do things that are free if it suits your child and you - but she is not your friend and not to be trusted.

I was going to say take an axe to it!

I would definitely rethink this so-called friendship. It makes no difference whether you are much wealthier than her or not she should repay you and be respectful about it. Keep you eyes open here, you have had a glimpse of her true personality.

This is what I'd do OP.

Yes, and I will keep on going on about it until you pay. If you gave her a lift- I would leave her there- she needs a wake up call.

Jeez that's nearly 90 quid!

Yes I would either be direct or very busy from now on.

The gaslighting on top of not honouring her half as agreed? She’s a red flag not a friend.

If a friend said to me they were hard up, I would offer to pay if I could cover it. But that's not what happened here. She's rude and a thief. Your kid can have other friends with decent parents.