To re-think friendship over this?

[carelesswhispers9]

have a friend who is unemployed and has a little one and so do I.
We took out children out on a pre-arranged trip to a theme park and as 2 adults and 2 children was cheaper than individual tickets I bought the family ticket online and she agreed to pay me her half cash on the day, she didn’t, she turned up without any money but promised to give it to me at the weekend but she forgot, she then said she would give it to me when she saw me a few days later, she didn’t.
A couple of weeks later we met up again and I asked her if she had my money and she laughed and said “you’re not still going on about that are you?
I said I kind of need it and she said “oh come on you work and have money, I don’t.
I don’t have a lot of money and wouldn’t have agreed to it if I thought she wouldn’t give me the money as I also drove nearly 2 hours each way on my petrol.

I am unlikely to ever see this money again but our children get along and we do have a good time together, would you let it go or phase out the friendship?

She has never asked me for money ever but I was just annoyed as it felt like she tried to ridicule me for “still going on about it, when she obviously assumed I would just let it go and move on.

If she’s otherwise emotionally supportive to you, a good listener, and fun to be with, I would not totally dump her. But I’m older than many posters, so may have a different perspective on friendship.

Having said this, I would never agree to plans that involve costs - especially when these fall to you. As others have mentioned, only meet her for coffee at each other’s houses, walks, etc.

@carelesswhispers9 why are you even questioning this? She’s awful and a sponger. Get rid of her from your life asap.

I’d definitely walk away from the friendship. Not only has she not paid her debt but she’s ridiculed you for it too. I’d send a short message saying you dont appreciate being taken advantage of so you are walking away from the friendship. Then I’d cease contact.

Good message and worth a go but she’s a cheeky cow, even if she pays I wouldn’t see her again. It’s a huge amount of money!

Cut off this rude thief before either of your kids have birthday parties. I'm in the U.S. and I'd threaten small claims court if nothing else to prove a point. Do you have equivalent in the UK?

You agreed to pay your half and reneged on that agreement 3 times ,that why im still "going on" about it........

Honestly, I would ask again, and if she came back laughing it off I would tell her to give me the fucking money now. I only go so far before I snap and her "you're not still going on about it" comment would have brought down the red mist 🤬

Edited to add the friendship is over anyway, so there's no need for politeness at this stage.

I’m annoyed on your behalf, she’s taken you for a mug. Sounds like she has no intention of paying & it’ll probably taint the friendship anyway. Friends don’t do this to each other x

She’s basically stolen your money.
So I’d end this “friendship” now.

She's a complete user. She knew she wasn't going to pay you - that would be an awful lot for her to find and she knew she had no intention of paying for it. You won't get the money back - I wouldn't see her again.

I'd cut her off but tell her why. That's abhorrent sponging behaviour, and if she's done it once, she'll do it again at some point.

£88 is an awful lot to lose.
I would continue to make it clear she owes you the money and you will not be meeting up until the debt is repaid. Ball is in her court then or she moves onto the next mug.

Her attitude would mean the friendship is over for me. I'd want nothing more to do with her

Id be tempted to use small claims court. Its £35 and if she looses, the costs get added on to her debt. I wouldn't even care at this stage if I got it back at £1 a week, its the fact she's so unbothered and a piss taker.

Do you have any proof she was to pay you back?

I wonder how many times she has already done this with other people this summer. Because it seems to work.

Great summer, nice activities for free.

I would cut her off completely after this. I would never speak to her again

This is the 4th almost identical thread like this that I’ve read here in the past couple of days. 🥱

Take all your laundry round hers ‘you don’t work so you’ve got loads of time to do’. She’s not a friend save yourself future heartbreak and drop her.

Plenty more kids for you child to be friends with so I wouldn't worry about losing one who is being raised by a parent with no morals.

She is a user. Drop her. But I’d send one last text asking for the money she owes stating she agreed to pay it.

This is why, with the exception of maybe 2 people, I do not do pay for stuff like this. When I go out with friends, we all pay individually even if paying for a family ticket would save a few quid. It is never worth it.

She is not your friend. She is a thief. A cheeky and nasty thief. I would phase her out. You child will have plenty of other friends and you don’t need a thief as a friend. A thief who ridicules you saying you’re going on about it when she reneged on her promise to pay.

I would keep mentioning it every time I saw her

and I wouldn’t be going anywhere with her again

For me , the biggest problem wouldn't be the money she took . It's the saying one thing and doing another . And then to gaslight and blame , nope .

Good grief, that's really CF territory - she's just unilaterally decided she's entitled to £90 of your money(plus petrol!)!!!

I wouldn't want to be friends any more but I wouldn't tell her that till she'd actually paid me. Phrase it however suits but let her know in no uncertain terms you want that money repaid. Cheeky cow.

Op could create proof by laying it all out in a text and asking for the money