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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Not sure if friend is being awkward here or I am?

102 replies

Blackistheneworange01 · 17/07/2026 10:23

I see her around once every couple of months, I used to work with her and have known her for about 7 years. She does often cancel last minute, she has fibromyaglia so I do understand.

She does art and I went to see her exhibition in May (which is also when I last saw her) this was 40 miles from me. Time before that I believe was February, I met her about 15 miles away as she works in a school there.

We've agreed to meet next weekend (25th/26th for lunch). I asked her whether the 25th or 26th was better and she said "shall we do the 26th?" I'm already in the area (we're meeting near where she lives) on the 26th late afternoon.

I said to her I'd be free until after lunch/mid afternoon on the 26th. She said, ok no worries, shall we do the 25th then so we don't have to leave until later?
The issue is I'll have to do a 95 mile round trip on both days if I do the day before. Meeting for lunch still gives us a couple of hours. I'm on a budget and the lunch place is quite expensive, I can't stick around hours and carry on paying for endless drinks, then potentially dinner etc. Plus petrol and parking both the Saturday and Sunday. We'd still get a good few hours, shall I say I'd just need to meet on the Sunday?

I don't always have to bend over backwards, I'm already travelling to her again.

OP posts:
Amba1998 · 21/07/2026 06:07

Blackistheneworange01 · 17/07/2026 10:41

I feel like I mightve been unclear or muddled some points up so:

Initially I was free all weekend. I asked friend 1 whether she wanted to do Saturday or Sunday. She said Sunday. A few days later I talked to friend 2. I said 'I'm in your area Sunday 26th are you free? And she said yes.

But you did this without confirming plan with friend 1. So you’re now going to her area but you’ve limited the time with her to go see another friend who you arranged with after the fact

redboxerclub · 21/07/2026 08:12

unless I have misunderstood.

Your OP wasn’t truthful. You agreed to see friend for lunch. Then after that was confirmed you agreed to see another friend.
So you weren’t already in the area for friend 1.

Friend 1 is miffed to have her time with you cut short. Because when you agreed it you had all day until you booked something afterwards. Friend cops on and asks to move it. She doesn’t know it is because it is convenient for you.

you are not be transparent and causing issues.

2 hours for lunch is fine, but for a 90 mile trip id hope for longer

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