AIBU to feel uneasy about my partner's inheritance plan?

[Itisallgoingtobeok]

My partner and I are planning on moving in together. We will each sell our separate properties and buy one together 50/50. He is a widow with 2 DC in their mid twenties. I don't have children.

We are starting to talk about how we would set up finances, and one issue that has come up is that if he dies first he wants his half of the house to pass to his children in trust, whilst I remain able to live in the property until I sell or die. They would then inherit their Dad's half when I die, or get their half if I sell. My half is for me to decide who inherits. FWIW, I would leave my half of the house to him.

This doesn't sit well with me. If he dies first, then half of my home is owned by others. I get on well with them, but I have no idea if they would want to maintain a relationship with me after their Dad's death.

Part of me completely understands why he wants to leave his children his share, but it leaves me in a really tricky position. I really don't like the idea of this at all. AIBU? What have others done in this position? I can't be the first person to have this problem!

oh absolutely this

At the moment she has a property she owns 100%.

I agree, I wouldn't do it either. What if her own needs change and she wants to move to a more suitable home? If she can't afford that with the value of half a house, she's stuck. I hope they get proper legal advice and find a work around. Otherwise I wouldn't do it. I do understand him wanting to protect his children though. That would be my priority too.

At who's expense it is should be made very clear in the will. I wouldn't do this unless the house is suitable for someone old and frail to start with. I also wouldn't want my options limited by only having access to half the value of a house if life changes and I need to move.

But that's all she has now - half the value. 🤷‍♀️

No she owns her own house just now 100%.

She currently has a home that is 100% hers. She plans to sell it to go in with the man who will leave her 50%. She'd be worse off.

Yes but they are going in jointly. She's not putting up 100% of the money for the new house ? Is she ? Have I missed that part?

Let's say her current home is worth 250k . She then matches this with his 250k so they get a much nicer property. At the end of the day she still has her 250k plus any profit. 🤷‍♀️

People don't seem to understand that 50% of a 500k property is the same value as 100 % of a 250k one. 🤷‍♀️

Meanwhile house prices probably increase. When she comes to sell, let's say she wants to downsize to a more manageable property for age, she will have 50% the value of a full house. That may no longer be enough to buy a full house without a mortgage (which she won't get at that age) unless she's really seriously downsizing to something likely to be much less. Her options will be more limited. If she had 100% of the house value, she'd have far more options.

She will have the same monetary value - how can you not see this ?

Who says they are buying a home twice the value of the one they have now each? If I'm considering my next move I'd rather than 500K to play with than 250K.

Generally speaking, if I were to sell my own home and move, I'd be moving sideways because the housing market has shifted. I need 100% out of my property to remain mortgage free. If I only have 50%, I'll need a mortgage for half the house. Obviously this will significantly affect my fiances or options for housing. It would be a serious downgrade in home and area.

Because I own a home and I've looked at what is needed to downsize. It's not as simple as you seem to think. Heard of inflation?

Ok answer these questions / what is 50% in pounds of a 500k house? What is 100% of a 250k house ? The answer is it is the same ! 250k . How is she losing money ?

Could you either buy them out (if he dies first) or sell the house then you take your half his kids take theirs and you buy somewhere else

Irrelevant. I'm just using figures to illustrate. Let's say she puts 125 k in the bank and she puts 125K towards the new house and he does the same. They buy a 250k house . Where is she losing money?

This is an option they can choose to do at the will writing stage. When I die the house is to be sold ... easy.

The housing market isn't static like that. Neither is the value of money. There's a reason for the indexing of things. 250K now isn't going to be worth the same in ten or twenty years. It also won't have as much buying power.

Get yourself mortgage free then look at what would happen if you wanted to move house. You'll find it's not quite as simple and you're unlikely to get another house for half the price of the one you have now, even if it's much smaller.

Do you really think 125K is going to be worth the same in ten or twenty years?

Of course not it will be worth more and she will get her money back plus her part of the increase in value it has made.

Every other house on the market will also increase, not necessarily proportionately. I'm sure you'll figure it out one day. Do you own a home?

You don't seem to understand the basic point here. If she stays in her imaginary 250k house then the same will apply.

So tell me how do you propose she increases the value of her imaginary 250k house to cope with the future when she may want to downsize ?

She needs full ownership of a home to make sure she has all the options. She might not be able to stay in the home she gets with her partner. Old age can change what kind of house you can physically cope with. Life is unpredictable and you need to be able to move with it if necessary.

I would suggest that if she wants to move in with her partner, she keeps her current home 100%, rents it out and it's always there for her. Her partner can buy the home they live in 100% and leave it 100% to his daughters. Then they are both in the clear.