PSA: never give a guy you're not married to or the mother of a massive sum of money

[CurdinHenry]

Double not if you've only "met" him online

Scared by how many smart and brilliant women fall for this and even end up in debt to give money to some random guy on the back of a sob story

Never ever ever, ok?

Gosh thanks for warning me! I was just about to remortgage my house because my online friend Brad Pitt is having some liquidity problems.

Not just guys either, plenty of sob stories here on this site fishing for money.

See this attitude is why so many women are scared to ask for help

I don't know what causes it because it's not stupidity. Professionals, older women, smart ladies fall for it all the time. Probably several hundred cases going through the courts right now. Many many more because people are too ashamed to go to the police.

Speaking of Brad

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/ckgnz8rw1xgo

Oh no, I just got an email from a Nigerian prince asking me for a loan and he’ll definitely pay me back. Is it a scam?!

joking…

It's either dementia or suicidal empathy.

Thanks for that top tip. It almost reads like you are mansplaining romance scams with questionable grammar.

But we are socialised to be empathetic - "be kind" is everywhere.

My otherwise brilliant mother was fully convinced she was friends with Benedict Cumberbatch on fb.

She’s not great at interneting.

My husband works in banking fraud and you would be surprised how often this happens. The women aren’t always elderly either. They’re quite often middle aged women with a decent salary coming in which indicates they are working a decent job so intelligent people.

These scammers spend YEARS grooming these women, it’s really scary.

It is stupidity though. Nobody with any intelligence would believe they really are in a relationship with a financially strapped celebrity.

As for the other romance scams, they are daft enough to be flattered by people much more attractive than themselves or think they might make money out of it, ie the crypto scams.

Accountability!

It’s amazing that people fall for this type of thing but people do and often people who you would otherwise think of as intelligent.

There is so much information out there about these types of scams it’s hard to see how people don’t take it on board.

Vanity is mostly what causes it.

HTH.

This is why friendship groups shouldn't always be about unwavering support and acceptance of everything. As Bridget Jones would say, if Miss Havisham had had some jolly flatmates to take the piss out of her she would never have stayed so long in her wedding dress wired all her money to a Turkish waiter.

I’m sorry but people this stupid deserve to be mocked.

Agreed and I will never understand people stupid enough to do this. If I was dating a man who asked me for money we would no longer be dating.

immediately.

For some people it's the arrogance of feeling like they will never be scammed that makes them easy targets.

I worked for a very successful, confident, educated finance director many years ago.

she met a man at the local golf club and after several months of dating took out a large car loan for him because is a misunderstanding g which impacted his credit score. We all know how that ended.

It is stupidity though. A fool and his money are soon parted.

Agreed and I will never understand people stupid enough to do this. If I was dating a man who asked me for money we would no longer be dating

I know. I think I'm naturally protected from this type of scam. I'm just really, really cynical.

Sadly there are a lot of vulnerable people out there, men and women, who are looking for romance, they become annoyed when it's pointed out and don't want to believe you, even when all there cash is gone

It’s not stupidity. These people aren’t stupid.

The fraudsters are able to spot vulnerabilities and weak spots and work their way up to total control. It’s easy to see from outside a situation, but from within each step makes sense after the last.

To be fair, I'm not sure that this has much to do with academic ability.
It's more about emotions like loneliness and needing to be desired.

I can't see myself falling for a scam. But some of them are so in depth.

Not just 'hey babe, send me 10k and I will come meet you'

The person is 'hooked' into believing they are talking to someone who really cares about them. It will then come up in some round about way. Often after months of talking.

Should they trust them, absolutely not!! But I don't think it is fair to just say they are 'stupid'

Foolish, misguided, lonely all very possibly

I always remember the 40s and apparently intelligent woman, who sent all her savings to some scam ‘lover’ and then tried to take out a £10k bank loan to send him, on top.

The bank asked what it was for, and she told them.
They warned her very strongly that it was almost certainly a scam, but she went ahead with it anyway.
So not just no savings any more, but a £10k debt on top!

Astonishing IMO that she later agreed to appear on TV to tell the tale! Very brave, but OMG, I’d just want to hide….

Loneliness is a terrible thing, and makes normally rational, intelligent people do very daft things, let alone those with extra vulnerabilities.

Its easy to say it would never happen to me when I am sitting in my house with my beloved, if annoying, DH and my devoted dog. I am lucky. Who is to say what I would do if my circumstances were different, I have every sympathy for those who have had their good nature taken advantage of.