AIBU to be upset about having to pick a front door I don't like?

[Delara]

I got the keys to a new house in May, and my partner moved in last week. I'd been trying for over a month to get a new front door, having had around 5 fitters come to measure and then say they couldn't source a door that narrow.

My partner then moved in and pushed for me to get a new front door ASAP as he had accidentally let the cats out (we currently have a recessed door and need an airlock).

I ended up buying the only style of door I could find that could be produced so narrow, and it's a cotta,ge style front door that will be put on my Edwardian house. It's not been fitted yet but is in production so too late to change. I really wanted a traditional style door.

AIBU to be feeling resentful of the rush and having to compromise on the front door? I lived in a house with three years without an airlock and learned how to not let the cats out. We are both obviously stressed for the cats' safety, and I was planning to buy a door anyway for my partner's sake, but I am feeling resentful that this has pushed me into buying a door that doesn't suit the house.

Pic attached of what it will look like when fitted

I think I am being unreasonable and it's not my partner's fault the fitters couldn't find a door. But I'm struggling with the compromise.

It’s a door, it’s looks nice and serves its purpose. Unless you spend hours stood outside your house admiring the door I don’t see how it’s an issue.

@deeahgwitch raises an important point.

@Delara you say your boyfriend is contributing to the mortgage, but it’s your house. Have you made sure he will have no legal claim to it in the event of a split?

The picture is really confusing, you talk about a storm porch and the recessed door

The door you have, is this the first door you open when leaving the house and then you're getting another door to go on the outside of the porch, at the same level as your neighbours door?

Does your cottage door open in toward the house or outwards?

I but did want one that was more in keeping with the Edwardian/Victorian house

I mean, the windows, satellite dish, burglar alarm, blinds etc aren't in keeping with the Edwardian/Victorian house either. It's a red brick terrace not a G1 listed period property with all original features except for this door. It's a nice house with a nice door that fits and functions, I really wouldn't sweat it too much and just get on and enjoy living in your new home.

I don’t think this is really about the door. The adjustment of having to share a space with another person is massive. It’s the fact of the compromise you’re struggling with. It could have been any compromise that would have triggered this feeling. I guess you’ll have to see how the next few months go there will be plenty more adjustments and compromises to come from both of you. Healthy relationships mean compromises on both sides. (Not one person always comprising and the cost of the other, just to be clear).
At the end of the day you have to weigh up if you’re prepared to make them in order to live together or not.

I have a pair of feline escape artists, so I get that keeping the cats safe has to be a big consideration. I think the new door looks a lovely style and in-keeping with your house

I understand how easy it is to become fixated on a detail like this. One day you'll wonder what you were so bothered about.

I think the door looks good on your house. I doubt anyone will ever notice it beyond being a pleasant entrance to your home.

Have you had a quote for a door lately. 5-6k for a bespoke Victorian solid wood one, and that’s in the north of England. 2-3k for something off shelf

i voted yabu mainly because you’re being so ridiculous about some cats. I literally can’t think of anyone insisting they need airlocks because of cats, you could even be really daring and let them out to, you know, be cats?!

The prices people think you can get stuff for on this forum are a bit like the claims that something only takes 'five minutes' or 'it only takes an hour to get there' or 'I only take a backpack on a 2 week family holiday' or all the competitive claims of how quick or cheap something is

Completely deluded.

I wanted a wooden front door as like OP I am really really fussy about front doors, I think its important they are in line with the design of the house, however here in the South East the only companies doing that sort of thing are around 6k like you say. I went with a composite for 3k but the only other company doing composite doors was 4k so I got a 'bargain'. These are standard prices.

Honestly, once it's been there a couple of months I bet you won't give it a second thought.

The dynamic of your relationship though - that's a different matter. You will need to work on advocating for yourself and getting your own needs met, otherwise you'll likely end up resentful.

I wouldn't want to comment on what this might be saying about your partner moving in but plese think hard about whether its saying something. Its often in our lives that the problem is not the problem.

I like the colour and think you’re overthinking it.

It's when the front door is not flush with the front wall so there's a little space before it.
OP has had another door and door frame put in so that the new front door is flush with the front wall.
What was the front door is now a second front door.

I also can't have a new front door due to being an awkward size. I've decided to have the door that's there (that I hate, 1970s style) painted a funky colour.

Hovering between purple and green at the moment.

I think it will grow on you. I quite like it

@likelysuspect , this image shows a storm porch.

Well, I like the look of the door and I would prioritise safety over all else - good locks and alarm system. Really, it looks good!

We had a similar predicament and in the end the company fabricating our windows suggested just making a UPVC door and frame.

It's a bit like the neighbour's door in your photo (just frosted glass in two top panes and a plain bottom panel) in a period-appropriate colour (Chartwell Green).

Immediate next door neighbour has an old uPVC door that's a bit ugly, but painted with pink pastel door paint they make quite a fetching pair.

I think we found one composite option we could have gone for, but it was just bloody ugly. The whole grain effect looked really cheap too so an unpatterned door has actually worked out for us. And was cheaper.

Advantage of dealing with a firm that actually fabricates themselves. Sorry this isn't helpful in hindsight.

If you're going to have an outer porch door fitted, I'd have said do that first and then go timber on your true front door. Sorry that isn't helpful in hindsight either.

I know what the storm porch is! What Im saying is the door she has, which she isnt keen on, looks like its in the internal door, so it wont show from the street, looks like there is the second outer door to go on?

It looks ok most important for me would be does it have a peephole so you can see who is at the door before opening it.

This.

Why did you allow yourself to be pushed into a decision for something you are paying for, that is going on your house, that you also pay for?

It's a nice door and in keeping with the house to my eyes.

Fwiw, I think you'll miss the storm porch more than you gain from the airlock.

The door is fine, but I agree with PP your disquiet is at the way he's moved in and is laying down the law about your house.

I think the outer door is the new one?