AIBU to be upset about having to pick a front door I don't like?

[Delara]

I got the keys to a new house in May, and my partner moved in last week. I'd been trying for over a month to get a new front door, having had around 5 fitters come to measure and then say they couldn't source a door that narrow.

My partner then moved in and pushed for me to get a new front door ASAP as he had accidentally let the cats out (we currently have a recessed door and need an airlock).

I ended up buying the only style of door I could find that could be produced so narrow, and it's a cotta,ge style front door that will be put on my Edwardian house. It's not been fitted yet but is in production so too late to change. I really wanted a traditional style door.

AIBU to be feeling resentful of the rush and having to compromise on the front door? I lived in a house with three years without an airlock and learned how to not let the cats out. We are both obviously stressed for the cats' safety, and I was planning to buy a door anyway for my partner's sake, but I am feeling resentful that this has pushed me into buying a door that doesn't suit the house.

Pic attached of what it will look like when fitted

I think I am being unreasonable and it's not my partner's fault the fitters couldn't find a door. But I'm struggling with the compromise.

I like it! But that's besides the point really.

Can you call the company and see if there is any chance of putting it on hold at least? So you can think it through?

Just 'Thanks' would have done.

The resentment is a bit mispaced, I think. If this is literally the only option that exists then it's the one you'd have to get whether you made the order this week, next month or next year.

Could you be generally a bit stressed about them moving in/the change of dynamic and it's projecting onto the door situation.

I think the part you have to focus on, is that, by having a new door fitted, even if you don't like it much, is keeping your cats safe. Their safety is more important than the aesthetic of the front door. It may be that your boyfriend is terrified he's going to accidentally let them out again, is the reason why he's pushed for the door to be replaced. They aren't his cats, they're yours, so if he accidentally lets them out, regardless how careful he may be, and something were to happen to them, you'd be angry/devastated and he'd be mortified/blamed.

@Delara if he is paying to your mortgage he has a stake in your home . Do you know that?
Id rethink the living together for now u till you know him better and also when things can’t start from a more even ground .

If it cheers you up the door with the longer glass panels in are notorious for being a target for thieves apparently.
My sister had one and she was burgled, when the police came they said that front doors in that style make it very easy for people to smash the glass and just reach through to the handle/lock.
They recommend a more solid door with any glass being at the top so that if smashed it wasn’t close enough to the lock/handle fittings for people to reach through.
I think as others have said, it’s the colour of the door clashing with the bricks that draws the eye. If it was an off white/pale grey/cream you wouldn’t really notice it as much.

show him the door (pun intended)

Thank you everyone for your responses, have been trying to respond to everyone but may not be able to. The concern re: finances and stake in the house is OK, he had to sign a form from my mortgage provider saying he won't claim any stake in the house, but thank you for flagging!

I can’t comment on your door but the price is fine; I’ve just ordered a front door to be fitted and that’s how much they are

If it’s a composite door, which is what Solidor sell, you won’t be able to paint it.

Well you could, but it will look terrible, ok if it’s an old door that you want to get a few more years out of, but no one would paint a brand new 2 grand door.

I don't think you are being unreasonable. It's your house and you are paying for it.
When we bought our house 25 years ago, I wanted the main floor windows to look like the original oak frame windows but with double pane energy efficiency glass. It took me 2 years to find a company that would build them using real wood. I paid a lot for those 2 large windows, but I would have resented having the wood coloured vinyl some contractors tried to get me to have.
Were you able to price out a custom door?

The door looks ok. Perhaps you could have it painted with a colour of your choice.

Personally, I wouldn't want that colour.

It’s not terrible.

I like the door actually but £2k? 😮 The most I’ve ever spent on front doors in the various houses I’ve lived in is £100 second hand!

I’d be frustrated I couldn’t have what I wanted too but it seems your choice is the door you’ve gone for or spending a lot more to get what you want and you’ve chosen the best option for you for now. I like the door and the colour but for me, personally, I’d prefer chrome door furniture and different glass.

it doesn’t have to be for ever anyway, you can always change it again when you’ve done everything else if you haven’t come to love it by then

It included the doorframe, which wasn't previously there.

Well yes, mine were entire door sets in either upvc or composite including frame and even side glass panels in one case. I’m not sure now whether to feel happy to have had ebay bargains or a tight-arse for not spending enough! 😀

Composite doors are easy to paint, just make sure you have the correct primer, although I agree I’d be very reluctant to paint a brand new £2k door.

I’d cancel. In my experience whenever I’ve compromised on a house thing it’s irritated me forever. Look in reclamation yards or have one made to measure.

Why is everyone going on about painting the door, its the style OP isnt satisifed with surely, not the colour, you get to pick the colour yourself so she has chosen yellow. She wanted a traditional Edwardian/late victorian style but this is a cottage style because its the only one they could get to fit (presumably because the 2 panels usually associated with that late Victorian style cant fit on a narrow door)

WTF.

It's a front door

Grow up!!!!!

Another one who thinks that a different colour might help.

Honestly I have no clue with this one. I’m bisexual but I’m still wary of men who want to be friends with me in a way I’m not with women. Or even gay women. I need to confirm it’s a genuine friendship first. However, a lot of men ARE genuinely good friends with women. One of make friend’s literal sits down and joins the women at the pub for a gossip.

However, I do think that it’s quite easy to tell if it’s a genuine friendship or not. I have dated women and if a woman I dated was getting too close, I KNEW. You just do. Whereas a woman I was dating could hug, dance, hang out, whatever with another gay woman and if it was a genuine friendship, I never felt insecure.

That being said, you do need to be able to talk to your partner. You can’t generalise men as a whole like that. Of course you can talk to men about these things. As someone who has dated both sexes extensively, I promise you that just assuming men can’t talk about their feelings is harmful to your relationship. If he can’t discuss this with you in a healthy manner, if you can’t discuss your insecurities with someone you are agreeing to be with the rest of your life, then I would look into that. A marriage is hopefully long. There will be a lot of tough conversations ahead.

Oh ffs wrong thread please ignore

😃 I was wondering about the bi position on doors…