AIBU to be upset about having to pick a front door I don't like?

[Delara]

I got the keys to a new house in May, and my partner moved in last week. I'd been trying for over a month to get a new front door, having had around 5 fitters come to measure and then say they couldn't source a door that narrow.

My partner then moved in and pushed for me to get a new front door ASAP as he had accidentally let the cats out (we currently have a recessed door and need an airlock).

I ended up buying the only style of door I could find that could be produced so narrow, and it's a cotta,ge style front door that will be put on my Edwardian house. It's not been fitted yet but is in production so too late to change. I really wanted a traditional style door.

AIBU to be feeling resentful of the rush and having to compromise on the front door? I lived in a house with three years without an airlock and learned how to not let the cats out. We are both obviously stressed for the cats' safety, and I was planning to buy a door anyway for my partner's sake, but I am feeling resentful that this has pushed me into buying a door that doesn't suit the house.

Pic attached of what it will look like when fitted

I think I am being unreasonable and it's not my partner's fault the fitters couldn't find a door. But I'm struggling with the compromise.

Go down to a reclamation yard with measurements, know how much you can shave off the sides. Take it home and get joiner to fit the week after. Sorted. Style, in keeping, saved about £1.5k.

So stop being so yielding? Your house, your cats, your door, your decision.

Thank you, I think I am being overly accommodating and need to make sure this doesn't spill over into the rest of living together. He wasn't being demanding and knew I was planning on a front door anyway, but I definitely could have said no, we can take more time and figure out a system to keep the cats in – which we have done in the meantime, even if it takes a lot of coordination and keeping the cats in smaller spaces at times.

I think it looks lovely. The colour is great although the glasss decoration is a bit OTT for me. Your partner only pushed you due to the cats getting out. I wouldn't be over reacting to that. I'm sure you'd much prefer your cats were secure than panicking every time you open your door.
Everything in perspective @Delara As long as you are happy in your relationship, that's what matters. Good luck.

Your next door neighbour appears to have managed to find a suitable door.

Thank you, I do want my cats to be secure. I do think I will have a conversation with him about this to explore how I am feeling and how we can work together to prevent this spreading to other areas of our relationship when living together. There's definitely some personal work I need to do too. It is my first time moving in with someone and I am very pleased our relationship has got to this point, but I need to be less afraid of potential conflict.

Yes, I asked my neighbours and had a recommendation for someone but they said my doorway was a bit too wonky for the smallest door to fit 😩😩 I could only get a solidor supplier to commit. At least I know the door will be good quality ..

But also, having read other comments, I would ask whether you sometimes take too long to make decisions? Are you a bit of a perfectionist, procrastinator or dreamer?

I can be great at having all the ideas e.g. finding the perfect reclaimed door but not pushing on with it quickly enough to discover that (for example) the chances of finding one the right size are low, getting it adjusted and fitted too expensive, so reaching the realisation that the ‘least worst’ new option is the way to go.

So it’s possible that the bf has been a catalyst to necessary action for you. But also possible that your ‘capitulate then resent’ response is an unhealthy habit you need to examine.

The reason is that every single door fitter I had around spoke to their suppliers and couldn't find a single door that would fit apart from this solidor supplier. I wasn't procrastinating, as soon as I had the keys I had someone around. I didn't realise how hard it would be to source any door at all or I would have had multiple people around from day 1 😩 I think if I had the choice of a few doors I could have made a decent decision, but it was between this 2k door and a 4-5k custom made timber door, I couldn't get anyone else to commit to sourcing or fitting a door.

I wouldn't say I'm a perfectionist but I would have liked two or three options at least!

Front doors are very important. I wouldn't get it fitted but would sell it on locally to someone less fussy with a similarly narrow doorway
Why would someone be less fussy, when they just may prefer that style?

Forget about the doo @Delara for a moment.
I’d be worried about the partner who has just got his foot in the door ( sorry, I couldn’t resist) and is dictating to you what you are to get for your house but won’t be paying for any of it.
Hmmmm

What's an airlock in this context? How does the door type help the cats not get out?

I think the door looks fine.

Why didn’t you ask your neighbours where they got their doors? Or look at architectural salvage places?

So we have a recessed door and a storm porch and we are getting an outward opening door at the front of the storm porch so that we can open the first door, close the first door then open the second. This means that the cats won't have a way to make a break for the street.

Thank you

It looks okay to me. If you aren’t keen when it’s fitted just paint it

I actually think that looks really nice ! I love the yellow . To be honest your windows aren’t in keeping with the period either so I wouldn’t get too hung up on that .
I do understand how you feel though. We are building a house and the windows that come with the kit are upvc and to be honest I really dislike them . We’ve chosen ones with the slimmest simplest frame possible so they’ll be ok . But I really hate all the front door choices !So again we’ve gone with as much glass as possible, and clear glass panels each side to detract from the fake plastic wood effect ! I am very much a real wood person, however, cost comes into it and also I’m getting too old to be re painting and maintaining wooden windows! So I’m reasonably happy.

I did ask them and had a recommendation from one, but he said my entryway was wonky so the size my neighbours had wouldn't fit. I was looking at reclaimed doors but equally couldn't get a fitter to say they would be able to do it. I must have contacted ten fitters overall, it was a nightmare

Thank you!

Exactly, the neighbours door is ideal.

The door is ok, but I know what you mean about not in keeping with house.

Won’t it also be very dark without windows? I’d have gone for more glazing myself. At that cost I am also guessing you have a composite / UPVC door.

Why didn’t you ask a joiner to make you a wooden door instead? You can drop them right down in width as they are made to order. See ‘narrow front doors in London’ for inspo. The natural materials mean you can drop the side width right down on each side, perhaps around a central light. Yes you need to paint the door and protect it, but they last for years.

Doesn't help you now. But wedodoors can make basically any size door! Ours is much wider than standard and they made it to size.

Can you give any more details about how he pushed you along to make a decision?

I don’t think your house looks particularly Edwardian due to the windows and flat front (it’s giving me more 80s vibes), so I really wouldn’t worry about not having an Edwardian door, I think that would look more out of place.

If you can’t learn to love it , you can save and have a bespoke one made by carpenter

I have a victorian terrace, same door just im black. Looks fine. Various meigh ours have similar.

Ultimately you either go for a high security modern door or you spend £££££ on a proper joiner and get a bespoke wooden door.

I think overthinking it. If the choice of doors is limited without paying a fortune for a made to measure one, then just think of it as job done. From your photo though I think it's nice and cheerful, the style is fine and the colour is fab.