AIBU to ask in-laws to remove shoes?

[tirednhn]

Context: 10 month old has been hospitalised twice in the last two weeks for bronch then catching a bug that went straight to his chest. First hospital visit high flow oxygen for four days and NG feeding tube. Second oxygen for 4 hours.

I grew up in a shoes off house. Do it automatically as does DH, DC and my family and guests. In-laws however just walk straight in even though I’ve repeatedly asked if they can remove their shoes.

10 month old and 2 year old basically live on the floor downstairs playing, it’s LVT so isn’t carpeted. Little one was discharged on Monday after having to call 999 and get him taken to hospital via an ambulance simply for catching the common cold as he’s so run down.

FIL dropped off my toddler (at their request to take her) and stormed straight through standing next to the playmat where he was playing. We reminded everyone a few days ago to remove shoes. The annoying thing is he didn’t even utter one word to me, just stood looking at baby so no need for him to come in the house. MIL took her shoes off and came through and we spoke, done handover etc. We’re trying to mitigate as much germs as possible just now and feel like I’m going mad! I know I’m unable to remove all germs but with such a poorly baby I don’t want all sorts trailed through the house if I can help it.

When people walk in with shoes on from outside they could have trod in anything, animal urine, even oil, etc., I do vacuum and mop floors but don't want to be cleaning or having carpets cleaned every few weeks. Workmen use covers on their shoes out of respect, so why not visitors if you do yourself.

People visiting must feel wonderfully welcome when they arrive chez toi.

I have always thougt this about possible unwashed smelly feet, dirty socks etc

But nobody seems to think about this

Whatever happened to Slippers?

People visiting you must feel like very valued as guests as they marvel at your how well you 'keep the carpets nice.'

It's just polite not to drag outdoor dirt into someone's house. And in-laws are family so should respect their in-laws' preferences. If you're uncomfortable, take indoor shoes with you.

I haven’t got “indoor shoes”. Mine are worn indoors and outdoors.

Slippers then?

Your carpets are full of germs, dead skin etc, no matter how many times you vacuum. I don’t want to risk a foot infection from your carpet as I could lose my foot. So I would rather not come into your house if you expected me to take that risk.

I’m not in the habit of carting round spare shoes and manky communal slippers are even worse than carpets.

I have never met anyone in my life who has a shoes off policy thankfully. Since joining MN I have got into the habit of checking the host’s footwear out of curiosity.

So should people buy slippers for the purpose of visiting others?

But the germophobes would probably not trust slippers that had been worn in other houses.

If I have regular visitors they would have their own slippers bought by me and kept at my home. Others would have disposable plastic covers to put over their shoes. I don't want bare feet on my carpets either.

But why have carpets if you are bothered about household filth?

Why would you use something as ecologically dodgy as disposable shoe covers just to protect a manky carpet?

Well my carpets are not manky, which is why shoes are not worn on them. Plus live In a new build which was carpeted throughout, all light carpets, which I like to keep looking nice and spotless. My choice, nobody else's. Everyone to their own choice. Visit, then respect the person's home you are visiting.

All carpets harbour germs. They may look spotless but things like dust mites can still be present.

What about handwashing? Do you have a basin by the front door? Because if people don’t have clean hands then you are letting germs onto any and every surface.

I am surprised that people prioritise the carpet over the health and wellbeing of visitors but each to their own.