AIBU to ask in-laws to remove shoes?

[tirednhn]

Context: 10 month old has been hospitalised twice in the last two weeks for bronch then catching a bug that went straight to his chest. First hospital visit high flow oxygen for four days and NG feeding tube. Second oxygen for 4 hours.

I grew up in a shoes off house. Do it automatically as does DH, DC and my family and guests. In-laws however just walk straight in even though I’ve repeatedly asked if they can remove their shoes.

10 month old and 2 year old basically live on the floor downstairs playing, it’s LVT so isn’t carpeted. Little one was discharged on Monday after having to call 999 and get him taken to hospital via an ambulance simply for catching the common cold as he’s so run down.

FIL dropped off my toddler (at their request to take her) and stormed straight through standing next to the playmat where he was playing. We reminded everyone a few days ago to remove shoes. The annoying thing is he didn’t even utter one word to me, just stood looking at baby so no need for him to come in the house. MIL took her shoes off and came through and we spoke, done handover etc. We’re trying to mitigate as much germs as possible just now and feel like I’m going mad! I know I’m unable to remove all germs but with such a poorly baby I don’t want all sorts trailed through the house if I can help it.

Same. I don’t want to be falling over people’s shoes.

I would rather that someone wear shoes in my house, then walk around it with bare feet. Especially this sweaty time of year.

I wouldn't dream of asking someone elderly to take their shoes off.

I don’t know if you realize this, but you actually proved OP’s point. Those floors are dirty because people walk on them with their shoes. If you wouldn’t walk on those floors barefoot yourself, how on earth would you let your baby crawl on them?

Most of my friends and family are shoes‑off households, and the floors in our homes are so clean you could eat off them. But of course, we also clean them all the time.

Shoes are disgusting. Every time I'm in a public bathroom where people have trouble aiming into the toilet I imagine all that filth stuck on shoes and then transferred onto house floors. Streets are filthy. I've seen some videos of people pooping straight on the pavement when nobody is looking. Puke, urine, feces. Absolutely disgusting. I'm shoe police in my house, my husband knows that he needs to guard the hallway to make sure everyone from his family takes their shoes off. All of my friends and family do it without asking. I don't want my children crawling on the floor covered in random people's bodily fluids 🤮

That is why our house is shoes off and no pets.

You’re not being pedantic. It’s worrying having a poorly child. Whether taking shoes off or no makes a difference isn’t the point, if it reassures you people should just do it. Even if it reduces the risk a tiny bit it’s worth it. Hope your little boy is fine from now on.

Tiled or wooden floors are best. You can just hoover and mop them. It’s hard to keep carpets really clean no matter what you do.

I personally think carpet is unhygienic really. Id rather have a hard floor with rugs in the winter.

As someone who is not British the obsession with carpets amuses me. I went into a fairly new Wetherspoons today that had carpet. I just don't understand.

It is very rude to ask guests to remove their shoes. It is equally rude, as a guest, not to offer to remove your shoes. So indeed, it is a dilemma. Shoe covers maybe? When they arrive, you meet them at the door and YOU bend down to put shoe covers on their shoes - it is hard for older people to put them on themselves, those airport-style shoe covers can be awkward. Also, do you not have a pen for your children? Or maybe not a pen but a dedicated, fenced off clean area, where no adult foot will tread?

I agree - if Wezzers carpet freaks you out, how about carpeted floors on British rail trains or on NationalExpress?

How can you possibly know that? Most shoes that are walked into toilets in public places show faecal bacteria (e.g. strains of ecoli) when swabbed.

Handwashing is probably more important than the shoe issue but it's still absolutely reasonable to ask them to take them off or ask your DH to insist on it.

https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/shortcuts/2016/jan/10/wetherspoons-carpet-tumblr-blog apparently Wetherspoons carpets are specially made for each location. I appreciate the dedication.

🤮 oh the thought of what’s in those carpets!!

I travel regularly by train and am always amazed at fellow-travellers, proceeding to the end-of-carriage toilet in their socks!!!! Aaaaahhh and then putting their feet in those socks on seats......Nauseating.

Yep. I’m british and I understand carpets keep houses warm but I hate them. Shoes on or off they are never really clean tbh. We’re too clumsy in our house anyway. We drop a cup of coffee no problem we just wash the floor. And don’t get me started on carpets in bathrooms and even kitchens and the occasional loo!

you are NOT being OTT!

wearing shoes inside us utterly revolting and so uncivilised.
regardless, it is your house, your rules.

if you want people to take their shoes off then unapologetically tell them to take their bloody shoes off! if there are any medical reasons that makes that impractical/difficult (mobility/arthritis etc), you might want to get yourself some of those disposable blue overshoes!

https://www.theguardian.com/society/2022/mar/17/the-science-is-in-wearing-shoes-inside-your-home-is-just-plain-gross

I’m no clean freak but that’s horrendous

Same on planes, btw. And what about trendy young people sitting on the floors in Euston and King's Cross, etc.? I see it all the time. And parents allowing their toddlers to crawl on airport floors?

I'll freely admit, I am a shoes-on person and have absolutely no problem with people keeping them on in my house. I will also say that my approach is very cultural, and I currently - as a shoes-on person - live in a strictly shoes-off culture, so there's a bit of a dissonance there. So: I respect that it is an issue that divides, and so I always ask, and always follow what the house-owner tells me, out of basic respect. Your house, your rules. My rules are different; no big deal. My main aim is to respect the people I am visiting.

Yeah, I do tell myself I'm less judgy and more relaxed and that literally no one has ever died from shoes in the house. But you do you.

If they’re in ok health I suppose it isn’t too much harm, my dm would fall without her shoes on. I always take shoes off but irrationally hate people asking so maybe be careful how you word it!!

Also, where I live, many people offer slippers that are manky and horrible and not even the right size. No thanks. I'll take off my shoes if you insist, and live in my own respectable socks.

So weird that people constantly freak out about everyday germs, and then constantly freak out about how to boost their immune system. Hmmm.

"While the 85% statistic is often used in cleaning marketing to emphasize the importance of doormats, it actually refers to all outdoor contaminants and grime tracked indoors, rather than total household dust. In reality, about 70% of household dust is generated indoors, while the remaining 30% comes from the outside."

Absolutely. My house had filthy carpets everywhere, including the downstairs hallway and living room, I ripped them out first thing and installed oak flooring. I have Ruggable rugs which you can wash in a normal washing machine.