Being told that as a size 18 I can’t wear certain clothes

[isaidmaybeyoure]

I do appreciate that when posting canvassing for opinions on outfits etc., you will get all sorts of responses.

But I have been told a few times now that as a size 18, I should cover up and not expose too much skin, basically purely because of my size.

AIBU to think this isn’t okay? I have as much a right to get my shoulders out as any other size!

I don't think it's disgusting. Truly.

There are actually people who find nastiness a lot more unattractive.

I have friends who have battled with similar issues and I just see someone who is human with issues - like we all have.

But that clearly and evidently not the consensus on this thread. The overwhelming majority have said wear what you wish and over weight doesn’t mean you can’t look lovely.

writing it’s the consensus does not make it so, we can all read the thread.

Wear whatever you want and screw those who say you should do XXX because of your size

Wear what you want!

I’d love to have actually seen this thread imploring the op to cover up because she’s a size 18. Did anyone actually see it? Can’t they link?

It's not really the question to ask, though is it?
I mean of course you can wear whatever you want.
I'm not going to say you can't nor is anybody else!

The question really should be will I look OK in it.

To be fair not many people look good in skintight clothing for example.

YABU.

Very.

If the item of clothing comes in that size then that means it was made to be worn. How ridiculous that anyone should think a size 18 can’t wear a size 18 dress! YANBU!!

So the thread gallery has me baffled.
Why had mumsnet started doing this, instead of leaving the pictures posted where they are with the thread??

So no one in real life then?

Nobody literally thinks that somebody else can't wear certain clothing, though.
There's no literal fashion police. 😁

The question should have been along the lines will I look OK from an aesthetic viewpoint?

I actually think the OP framed it in such a way that nobody would disagree because of course she can wear what she wants. That's not the point, though.

Sorry, unless a person is slim and toned that skintight dress is probably not going to look good.

Just trying to be real here.

This is not the same as saying that a size 20 person can't wear it!!

She's not really asking if she can wear certain stuff, is she? She's asking will. I look good and I can't lie: unless somebody is slim and toned with no bulges certain items are not going to look too good on them.

Best wear what you like, what you feel comfortable in, and what makes you feel good.

Over the years my weight has changed a lot, and obviously my age, and I just try to dress how I feel best for me. I’m slim enough to wear certain clothes - but I don’t because I’m not toned, my skin has naturally lost its youth, and I don’t want to look like mutton dressed as lamb.

Nothing to do with anyone else though - especially on a forum.

I agree.
Why ask the opinions of others?
Because then you're inviting comments about how you look.

Which is a different thing entirely.

And I very much doubt on mumsnet either

As long as it's not leggings 🤢 sorry but they look horrible on most people I'm a size10 and even I won't wear them they just show all the lumps that nobody wants to see

I was a size 12 for years then I had a c-section a couple of years ago, that and breastfeeding which makes me retain weight means I haven't lost any weight so I'm now a size 16, I still wear clothes I like and I'm comfortable in just in a bigger size I actually bought another top that I had when I was a size 12 in a bigger size because I like it so much and I don't care what anyone thinks, I don't think I look massively overweight just a bit chubby round the middle but I'm not bothered.

I read it.

The OP had two dress choices, then added a third (the brown halter).

One poster said:

· 05/07/2026 13:01
Dress 2 is awful. The whole fit of it is just wrong although maybe that is the model as she looks very overweight and it just doesn’t suit her figure at all.
Dress 1 and the brown dress are ok, but I’d keep looking if I was you.

The OP said:

She’s a size 18 (the same as me!), she hardly looks very overweight, she looks gorgeous!

There was some back and forth about that comment about the model. Someone asked the OP what size she was, as sizes 4-14 were sold out in the brown halter. The OP said again that she was an 18. Someone then posted this:

· 05/07/2026 21:15
Now I’ve seen you’re a size 18, dress 1 would also be unsuitable. Too much flesh on show.

OMG whoever said that isn't a friend! Wear what you want babe

Opinions were sought and given.
What is the problem?

Nobody is saying she can't wear the dress.
Nobody's going to arrest her for it.
Nobody is giving her unsolicited advice.

I would not dream of going up to a size 20 woman wearing a skintight dress and saying 'God that dress doesn't suit you',
It would be rude.
But if she says, 'does this suit me?' and wants my genuine opinion I'm going to say no it does not.

The OP needs to get a grip.

"Opinions are like ar*oles - everyone has one and they stink'.

Dear @isaidmaybeyoure - wear what makes you happy and sod everyone else ❤️

I'm a size 14
I have big boobs
I won't wear a halterneck because they make them look even bigger than they are.

So why ask for them, then?
Why go on an Internet forum and seek the opinions of others?

The bottom line is those posters told her what their opinions were because she asked for them.

They're not her friends, they're people who have no reason to lie.

I was literally answering the question asked in the post I was replying to. I did not weigh in on the larger topic, I offered no opinion. Just a recitation of the facts of what happened.

So go harangue someone else.

It wasn't a friend who said it, although that was implied. It was a couple of Mumsnet posters and on Reddit. Not worth all the angst.

Yes. I appreciate that.
My post was expanding on what you said.
For everybody else to read.
The response was not specifically aimed at you but sorry if that's how it comes across.

A size 18 (I'm an 18) has exactly the same right to wear strappy tops, shoulder‑bearing dresses, and anything else as a size 8.

You are absolutely right, of course. But you do understand that other people also have the right to dislike how it looks and to disagree?

I'm not saying they should, btw. I'm just uncomfortable with this thread becoming about people's right to think things. Whether you like it or not, some people find a lot of flesh unattractive, some love it and vice versa. That is their right. Even when we know better than to share it with others, we all have opinions about how other people look and weight is not the only factor in that.