Being told that as a size 18 I can’t wear certain clothes

[isaidmaybeyoure]

I do appreciate that when posting canvassing for opinions on outfits etc., you will get all sorts of responses.

But I have been told a few times now that as a size 18, I should cover up and not expose too much skin, basically purely because of my size.

AIBU to think this isn’t okay? I have as much a right to get my shoulders out as any other size!

I'm not sure there would've been many comments on the model had the OP not tried to gaslight people by saying she's not overweight.

I think that's what turned that thread and this one into all about the model's weight.

She's an overweight model - that's just a fact.

But not one that prevents her from looking gorgeous.

She’s a plus size model not an overweight model . And I don’t even like to call her plus size as I don’t like that term either. I’m plus size as well but I hope that’s not what people think of me as I’m walking towards them.

I would agree with that comment tbh.

It’s a bad idea for someone to solicit opinions if they’re particularly sensitive to negative ones. People do have the right to comment, and will comment.

She is visibly overweight.

And btw from a personal perspective I lost over a stone a while ago and got myself into a lower healthier category by my weight. I was still an 18. On the scale of weights I didn’t even think my weight was that high at that point but I didn’t drop a dress size.

I’m not sure anyone was asking for comments about the model though. The OP just wanted some help finding a nice dress to wear to an upcoming wedding. These things are stressful enough without comments like that.

She’s a plus size model not an overweight model

Are they not exactly the same thing? ‘Plus size’ is just a euphemism.

OP I’ve tried to help. You and the model are a lot younger than me. I’m in my 50s. Anyone about my age should have learnt by now from life experiences not to comment on someone’s size. I’m going to retreat now as it’s not helped.

enjoy your lovely evening out at the wedding x

That same poster originally said

Dress 2 is awful. The whole fit of it is just wrong although maybe that is the model as she looks very overweight and it just doesn’t suit her figure at all.
Dress 1 and the brown dress are ok, but I’d keep looking if I was you.

Which was fine.

OP then took offence and announced she was a size 18, like the model. In that context, what was said was fine. She thinks is the dress doesn’t suit a woman of that size, she’d look better in other things but said OP should wear whatever she likes.

Nothing wrong with that.

Yanbu, the brown dress looks lovely on you. You can really see your waist. They’re just arms, it’s not offensive for anyone eyes to see arms that aren’t super skinny and toned. For context I’m a size 8 (but short at 5’3”!) and often think larger people look amazing in what they’re wearing - whether skimpy or not!

I have no idea what people think of you, but that model is clearly overweight.

You and the OP seem to be the only two people who can't see it, or won't admit it's true.

The term Plus size is for clothes is for for a size 14 upwards. When I was a size 14 I was certainly not overweight.

Life is too short to give a fuck. My body now is unrecognisable compared to 12
mntha ago. Through treatments and steroids my face and body have changed shape and size, my long thick lustrous hair is short, pube curly and grey and I really struggle to look at myself but at the same time I’m proud of my body, the scars and everything else because it tells the story of my life. Child birth, c sections, cancer, surgeries, chemo, radiotherapy, more surgeries, picc lines etc etc. this body so unattractive to some has survived and travelled through life with me so I shall wear what I want where I want and do so with pride . Anyone that judges does not know us so their opinions are not worth a damn and should be shrugged off like dandruff. Nobody is perfect even if they appear to have the perfect body. I would rather be a fat, pleasant and self confident person than a slim judgemental mean spirited spiteful person intent only on bringing others down. Live your life and enjoy finding your own style. X

The model is wearing the dress, and people are going to comment on what it looks like on her, if it’s flattering
on her, and why it is or isn’t flattering. Whether you’re explicitly asking for
comments on the model or not, the comments you’ll get will invariably involve the model.

Again, if you can’t cope with that, don’t ask for opinions.

I mean some people go around in very thin, “skimpy” and badly made clothes that just make them look awful. It’s almost the modern day equivalent of dressing in rags.

I don’t think there’s anything wrong with showing some of your flesh like shoulders, legs etc - although obviously there’s different types of appropriate dress for different places and occasions, eg not wearing a strapless top in the workplace - and that doesn’t really depend on size.

What I think does look awful is people wearing clothes that are so thin of fabric they are see- through, and are obviously so badly made they are falling apart.

The original comment the poster made was that the dress didn’t suit the models body shape but may look better on someone with a different figure. It was that persons opinion, I agree that it didn’t look good on the model. OP then said she was an 18 and took offence but why? The dress doesn’t look good on the model in my opinion either and others agree. OP has taken exception to that. It wasn’t a good dress for someone with that build, that doesn’t mean someone of that build isn’t valued as a person and wouldn’t look great in something else. OP thought she looked great which is fine but others didn’t and she got pissy about it.

It’s quite possible to be a plus size model and a healthy weight, given “plus size” typically starts at size 12.

Also, depending on height and general build it’s not impossibly that someone could be a healthy weight at even larger dress sizes

Hey, enough about the crocs.

WEAR MORE CROCS

Asos plus size clothing apparently starts at 16 but seems to be from 18 to 30 in most things I’ve just clicked on, The dress starts at size 18. At a size 18, you’re carrying a lot of extra fat, unless you are very athletic and muscular, which isn’t most women.

It’s honestly news to me that a size 12 is considered plus size. I thought 12 was an average size and 14 slightly bigger. I assumed plus size was in the 16 and over category.

See through cheap white holiday trousers worn with a black thong? That sort of thing? Grim!

If you’re happy, comfortable and confident with how you look, go for it. An 18 isn’t that big imo.

I think a lot depends on weight distribution and if your body’s toned.

The only person that matters is how you feel.

I think the only persons opinion that matters about what you should or shouldn't wear is you.

This thread is a clear example of why people should read thr thread before commenting, so many people now commenting on the wrong dress, even though it’s been pointed out so many times it’s the multi coloured one, and people now arguing on the models size when asos state she’s an 18.

op seems to be of the opinion if you’re over weight or obese you can’t look lovely. Not many, myself included, agree with her.

she also aappears to be deeply insulted if anyone says she’s overweight and think it means she doesn’t look lovely and she also seems to think she looks like the ai generated image of her in the brown dress and can’t see it’s been slimmed down.

tne thread is benefiting no one now.

@Ipollita · Today 14:00

OP, did you forget that you posted a photo of yourself upthread? It’s very clear that you’ve been edited to look significantly smaller (your arms especially) in the ChatGPT image. Look I don’t care what you choose to wear or what you look like but you’re being straight up dishonest.

The OP's body/shape looks the same in both dresses, and the OP doesn't look 'significantly smaller' in the ChatGPT pic with the black dress. But the 2 pics side by side do prove (IMO) that the black dress is more flattering than the white one.