How can I divide my estate fairly between daughters and grandchildren?

[Ilikesundays]

Would really appreciate your views! I’m in my 80s and have three dds and 7 gcs. All are over 20. Two dds are married: one has 3 DCs and one has 4. Youngest dd is unmarried and has no children. I want to make my will and be fair to all of them. I was thinking of leaving all my property (f/h house, no mortgage in London + fairly substantial savings) to the gcs + the unmarried dd and nothing to the two married DDs. But on reflection this seems very harsh and unfair to them . How would you manage it? They are all working, bar two gcs who are still studying p/g.

Divide only between your 3 children is fairest if they want to give to heir children thats up to them. Otherwise your being unfair to your own children especially the one with no children and the one with 3. Only family gaining is the 4.

I have another story with hurt in it. My DM died years ago. Her parents out lived her. In Scots law you cannot disinherit your children so my sibling and I inherited in place of our DM.

For some reason GPs decided to split their estate unevenly. My sib and I got the legal minimum which was then split in 2. My Aunts got much more. In the end my Aunts got almost 5 times as much as my sib and I. That really hurt. Not only had my sib and I lived from very young without a Mum but we were being penalised financially too!

We didn’t know about deeds of variation at the time and neither Aunt offered to make a change. Sib and I were in our 20s and it would have made a huge difference to us. Aunts much more established.

So please keep it even between your DDs.

In my family and anyone I know who has discussed it, it's split fairly between your children and they split their etstate between grandkids when the time is right.

Any other way, unless they are estranged, would not make much sense IMO.
It's not your married daughters fault the single one is as such and not as well off. Or who chooses to have more kids or not.

Worry about your direct children and let them worry about theirs when the end arrives.

This. In spades. Because including grandchildren will be unfair to one daughter and possibly to the DD who has fewer children. This way you’re not ‘rewarding’ their number of children (or not).

Choose a lovely personal possession for each grandchild instead.