How can I divide my estate fairly between daughters and grandchildren?

[Ilikesundays]

Would really appreciate your views! I’m in my 80s and have three dds and 7 gcs. All are over 20. Two dds are married: one has 3 DCs and one has 4. Youngest dd is unmarried and has no children. I want to make my will and be fair to all of them. I was thinking of leaving all my property (f/h house, no mortgage in London + fairly substantial savings) to the gcs + the unmarried dd and nothing to the two married DDs. But on reflection this seems very harsh and unfair to them . How would you manage it? They are all working, bar two gcs who are still studying p/g.

Equally between the three DDs. That's how we do it in our family and it seems the fairest.

Equal between 3 daughters, nothing to GC. They can then pass it on. Your DD without children won't then feel hard done by if she later has children.

Split it equally between your daughters and a set amount (eg £1000) to each GC - depending of course on how much your estate is worth.

I'd split it between your daughters equally, except for a small amount for your grandchildren.

I wouldn’t rely on them to do that. It’s fine for OP to want to give to her DGC.

I would rather my niece have money than my sister, her mum.

Agree leave the bulk to your DCs, and a token amount (£1000? £5000?) to each grandchild.

Divide between your DDs and an extra amount equally for each grandchild .

Your DDs should inherit the bulk, shared equally. Then a small bequest to be shared equally between DGC.

Treating your DDs unequally, or skipping them to give to their children instead, seems very unfair.

Just follow the basic principles - estate to your children, small bequests to others.

There's 3 choices imo

Split evenly between the DDs

Split into 4 with one quarter going between the grandkids.

Split evenly across all the adults

Will youngest daughter resent that her sibling families are getting more than her? In which case one or two.

Grandchildren each to pick something “sentimental” (jewellery? Art? Furniture? Etc) and a token amount each. Then remainder split equally between your children.

Leave it equally to your DC with a token £2k or whatever small-ish and equal sum you want to give to each DGC.

Then let your DC decide what they want to do with the larger amounts and how/if to divide it. I don’t think you need to worry about which daughter is married and which isn’t etc. Leave all your own children the same amount then there’s no falling out later.

Make sure you’re leaving yourself plenty to enjoy your next few years!

This. My Mum chose to gift something to me and my brother after my Gran died but we didn’t receive anything directly. It all went to her children.

Split between your children and leave a named token amount to each grandchild. Awful to cut your kids out in favour of grandchildren. Is that what happened to you? Did your parents cut you out in favour of your daughters? Why should inheritance skip a generation?

I don’t understand why you wouldn’t just divide it by 3 to give to your children.

They can then decide what to give their DCs from it.

I would be really annoyed if my mum gave my sister more of my inheritance because she has more DCs than me.

I don’t think it matters how many DCs they’ve got, how much money they earn, whether they are single etc - the fairest and safest way to avoid fall outs is to just divide it equally.

I think you should leave everything to your 3 daughters divided equally. Otherwise it gets far far too complicated.

My grandparents did a an equal split between children and then grandchildren eg 1/4 to each of three children, 1/4 spilt between the grandchildren. As far as I’m aware, everyone involved thought that was perfectly reasonable. I’m not saying it’s the only reasonable way, but I do think it is reasonable.

I think your suggestion of leaving nothing to two of your daughters is one of the worst way you could split it tbh.

Why should OP give token amounts to her DGC when she clearly wants to give them a significant share?

small bequests to each grandchild and bulk is divided equally between your daughters . Anything else will cause family fallout .

Divide equally between 3 daughters.

You could leave each year grandchild £5k plus a personal item. Leave rest split equally between your dear daughter's. They can choose to pass to their own children when you pass or later when they pass. It wouldn't be fair to your dear daughter without children to sit between all of them.

MIL divided hers into four: a quarter each to her three sons and a quarter divided between the grandchildren. We don't have children and it was actually our idea because she couldn't work out what to do but definitely wanted the GC to have something as they some of them have been incredibly caring. But I know DH sometimes feels he was short-changed albeit by our own hands!

I would split it into three between your daughters. If you want to include your grandchildren maybe you could leave them a set amount such as 10k each before splitting the remainder for your daughters. Definitely don’t not give two daughters a share.

@nomas because she came on a forum and asked us all for our opinions.

Splitting equally between daughters is fair and saves any acrimony later.

As I said, she can give the grandchildren sums of equal value too, but like most PPs giving it to her own daughters seems fairest and most straightforward.

I’d likely divide it equally 10 ways and leave it equally to everyone. Unless the unmarried DD is short of money? My grandma left money equally to GC even though my dad had 4 children and my aunt only had one. I’m not sure why it’s a good idea to to leave to DDs when they are likely in 50s and don’t need the money.

My parents have a percentage to be divided between any current and future grandchildren. I think 10%
Rest to be shared equally between their children (me and brother)