How can I divide my estate fairly between daughters and grandchildren?

[Ilikesundays]

Would really appreciate your views! I’m in my 80s and have three dds and 7 gcs. All are over 20. Two dds are married: one has 3 DCs and one has 4. Youngest dd is unmarried and has no children. I want to make my will and be fair to all of them. I was thinking of leaving all my property (f/h house, no mortgage in London + fairly substantial savings) to the gcs + the unmarried dd and nothing to the two married DDs. But on reflection this seems very harsh and unfair to them . How would you manage it? They are all working, bar two gcs who are still studying p/g.

I always think that the only really fair way to do this is to stipulate that your estate should be split equally between your own three children.

Don't make it more complicated than it needs to be, and certainly don't even consider leaving any of your children out of it, for any reason whatsoever. To the ones left out it would feel like a real kick in the teeth.

Your children can make their own wills further down the line when the time comes and leave an inheritance to their own children then.

This is how my mother set up her will and my sibling and I are relieved about it. We are just beginning the task of winding up her estate now as she died a few weeks ago.

My DH also died earlier this year. We have three adult daughters. We had mirror type wills. On first death the whole of our joint estate would pass to the other partner, but with the deceased person's half of the properties we owned being put into trust to be shared equally between our three DDs.

I now need to redo my own will and appoint a new executor as DH was my main one (and I was his). I shall be making my DDs executors. I will also be stipulating that all properties are to be sold (not lived in) and absolutely everything divided three equal ways once funeral and necessary legal costs costs have been taken out.

I wouldn't even contemplate doing it any other way.

Equal share between 3 daughters and leave a letter of wishes that you would like each grandchild to receive £x amount. Most beneficiaries will keep to that.
You are opening a can of worms otherwise and there will be big fallings out

My Dad is a similar age. He gave each grandchild a decent sum last year (knowing if he dies within 7y then there will be inheritance tax to pay from estate) which helped my daughter buy a house, and gave him the satisfaction of helping them in his lifetime. The rest will be inherited by myself and siblings, or spent on CH fees.

Divide equally between your children and if the ones who have kids want to gift some of it to your GC ,great.

if I had 3 daughters
and 7 grandchildren

I would leave my property to the 3 daughters - this makes sense from a tax point, to be divided a third each. If any of the daughters predecease me I would want their mothers share of the property to go to their children and their children only.

Then I would leave my cash & savings to the grandchildren to be divided between them equally however many grandchildren there are at the time - again sadly people younger than us do die

Equally amongst your daughters. You could leave a legacy of whatever £sum, say 1, 5 or 10k etc. to each grandchild if you want, and the residue amongst your three children.

Simplest, fairest and shows you value each of your children equally. The GC will get their own inheritance from their parents in time, just like your children will.

One thing I'd say is to stipulate that if any of the three daughters predecease you, then their share should go to their children. Belt and braces!

You have three daughters so I would equally split between 3. It’s then up to them how much they want to gift their own children.

You need to divide your estate equally between your 3 children. Your grandchildren will benefit via their parents - it would be really unfair any other way. Its up to your children to then determine what is passed to the grandchildren.
Treat your own 3 children fairly.

This. I can't understand why some people started skipping a generation and passing on to grand children. It's not natural.

This is exactly what I've done, which seemed fair to me.

My parents have divided the will equally between their three children. That’s the fairest way. If (and I hope they’re still alive for a very long time) I get my share I’ll use it to help my children with house deposits/weddings/education and that’s possibly better than just giving them a lump sum. One of my kids would be sensible but the other one would likely just spend it on cars and holidays!

We’ve just had to get my father’s original will for the probate application as he only had a copy. The solicitor held the original document and charged £90 fee to release it.

Exactly. When did that business of sharing equally between children and granchildren starts?

My mother left everything equally to me and siblings (not to gc). We were all in different situations - some with children, some not. It was a really fair thing to do and meant there were no family frictions and resentment after her death, which there so often is. Then, siblings with children filtered the inheritance down to their DC, and my will leaves everything to nieces and nephews (if DH no longer in the picture), so it filters down again.

Split 3 ways evenly between your DDs. Only fair way to do it. Up to them what they give their DC. Unequal wills cause hurt and bad feeling
If you really want to give to the GC split 4 ways evenly and the 4th share is split equally between the GC

Equally between the daughters. It’s madness any other way

Equally between your three children, unless any of your children asks you to skip a generation and give their third share directly to their children, instead (which they might prefer for inheritance tax reasons if they don’t need the money themselves and already have a big estate).

For the sake of your three daughters, you split it equally three ways. It is up to them to divide amongst their children. You cannot penalise two daughters because they are married. What if they end up divorced or ill? I am one of three daughters and would be very hurt if we were treated unequally.

You can always leave a little cash to each grandchild to use as they wish.

Each adult gets the same amount how they choose to devide between their children is up to them

Divide by household. You could always specify the daughters with children get X and this is to be evenly split between them and their children. Im sure the daughters with children would be happy to split the amount with their kids.

I can't imagine leaving out two of my children 😬

Although we don't have grandkids yet, my intention is:

1. Leave a specified amount for each grandchild - for example £10k each - so that each GC is getting the same amount from me.

2. The remainder of the estate (however much that is) is to be divided equally between our 3 children.

In your position, I'd maybe state that the savings are divided equally by the grandkids, and the house is divided equally between your kids.

The only fair way is to split it between the 3 DD. You could leave each grandchild a set amount, say £1K each.

It would be extremely unfair to leave your estate to just one DD and would cause a huge rift in the family once you are gone.

Leave estate between your children only - it is for them to then pass to their own children whether they have them or not.

We had this conversation years ago where my sister said it should be portioned between kids and grandkids meaning at that time, her and her children would receive 4 parts and mine and my child would receive 2. Obviously I disagreed - why should her child receive the same amount as me? So now the will is just split between myself and my sister and that’s it. Only fair way to do it.

I would do the house 3 ways between the daughters and then with the rest of the estate I would do 25% to each daughter and then split the remaining 25% equally between the grandchildren.

This could be so unfair depending on personalities. You could easily see a situation where one sibling worked hard, make sensible financial decisions while the other is feckless, chooses partying rather than studying, spends their 20s travelling living hand to mouth with lots of support (each according to their needs after all) and then as the final kicker gets a large inheritance.