To expect DH to change his online coach after inappropriate messages?

[Mumfirsttime23]

DH has struggled with his weight for a couple of years but since January has been making a huge effort. He has gone to the gym 4 times a week and has an online coach who is local but met via their Instagram page after a recommendation. They have weekly check in’s etc and she helps with work out plan and nutrition.

All good, no issues and I’ve been really encouraging - up until today.

I was using his phone for white noise whilst trying to nap our youngest - something we often do if our own phone is charging.

A message notification appeared from his coach that didn’t seem at all ‘fitness related’ so I clicked on it and read the exchange. He’d messaged her about his week (in terms of workouts and meals). One of the things he said is that he was fed up of eating the same fruit all the time so he has got some pineapple instead. She said about this being known to make men ‘taste’ nicer. He said he wouldn’t know but that ‘my wife would be pleased’. She then replied saying ‘your not into snowballing then’ and he said depends how many drinks he’s had (I had to Google this, to warn anyone unaware it is grim, and not something we’ve ever done/would do).

Her reply was 2/3 hours later and was what piqued my interest to read back.

I told him I’d seen the exchange - he apologised, said they have a friendly professional relationship and it’s nothing more. Which I do believe, but I am uncomfortable with another woman talking to him like that and that he didn’t shut it down. I think he should change his coach - he says that would be an over reaction. Would you keep pushing this point if you were me?

That's really inappropriate and not the behavior of an (so called) professional coach.
You are not being unreasonable. That's unprofessional behavior and totally disrespectful when she knows damm well DH is married, absolutely sack her off.

He doesn't have to hear your argument for you to do something about him and her.

So he enjoys the attention he is getting from her.
And thinks you’re just jealous.
Because what else can a woman be?

Yuck, yuck, yuck

Agreed! He’s grim Op - good luck with this one!

Well, her assertion that pineapple makes his semen taste better (or vice versa) is not backed up by science. Hydration can, but not a specific fruit. So she's parroting stuff she's heard off the internet. She used that to introduce sexual innuendo.

Ask him what her education and credentials are. How much is he paying her? And he gets bonus sexual content.

Divorce will cost him more if he keeps this bullshit up.

So he said it was professional to exchange sexual innuendos with his fitness coach and you believed him? Righto 👍

Oh Lord I just googled what snowballing ish 😬🤣

That is disappointing. I would say that you are not jealous of her, but found it a crass and unprofessional exchange. Flip it back, as does he like getting the attention from her, because his response is odd otherwise.

So inappropriate. Is she part of a company because it should be reported?

This PT is out of order. You need to give her a mouthful.

😂😂👏

🤣🤣🤣

Your H has been struggling with his weight and probably feeling less than attractive for two years. Now all of a sudden another woman is being sexually provocative to him. Even if he had no intention of cheating, the attention would probably be pretty heady.
So how he handled the message (not too badly) is less important than what he does next. Give in to the temptation to have his ego massaged, and start down a slippery slope, or face up to how these situations can escalate and put marriages at risk, and bin her.

It's not professional, but he is her client so it's up to him what he wants from a coach. I don't think he has done anything wrong, it doesn't sound like he was being flirty, it just sounds like banter and he mentioned you which signals he isn't interested in it becoming flirty.

My god !
I didn't expect to learn that today 😲

Is she a dietitian? If not what qualification does she hold to be discussing his diet?

Tied my arse
Im sure once the gym manager has seen the messages/ and they have been shared on her profile she will be happy to refund the difference between now and the summer /and ‘ untie’ your husband

Totally -I mean cum on!

Where’s the laugh button when you need it!

He’s not taking his wife’s concerns seriously at all.

Do.not.like.

So he doesn't care that his inappropriate behaviour with this woman has upset you - he thinks it's your fault you don't like him flirting, at the very least, with another woman?
This doesn't sound like a loving and caring relationship OP.

He text me earlier to say she has a special offer on for the rest of summer and do I want him to sign me up 🙄

With the snowballer?!?!

I’d be fucking fuming and I’d probably have rang her off his phone, lost my rag and looked like a right psycho. Well done for not doing that OP 😭.

I have 4 friends who are PTs (they’re all single) and out of the 4 of them 3 often shag their clients. It’s not uncommon. Interestingly the one who doesn’t shag about has the most successful business, but he does get propositioned quite a lot and me and DH love it when she shows us the texts because we’re both absolutely shamelessly nosey.