AIBU to find sleeping in and re-wearing boxers the next day unhygienic?

[Seraphina9]

I have noticed something quite disconcerting about my fairly new DP in relation to his bedtime routine. It has been green flags all around so far, but I'm starting to feel that this could be the first notions of the ick.

My DP showers in the evenings and changes into a fresh pair of boxers before bed. All fine and perfectly normal. He wakes up for work before me and I assumed that he changes into a fresh pair in the morning. Alas, he just remains in the boxers that he has slept in, gets dressed for work and wears the pants that he has slept in the entire following day (and to the gym I hasten to add). Rinse and repeat.

I can't fathom wearing underwear that I've slept in for the entirety of the following day; I would feel revolting and would be paranoid that I smelt at work. All I can think of is how sweaty it must be, particularly after going to the gym. I have raised this with him, but he became super defensive and just said that it is just his bedtime routine. Is this what men are doing now? He said at least he's not turning the same pair inside out and re-using them for two days- I think he was joking, but I actually think that would be more hygienic!

How is this not normal. The fact you think it's ick is wierd.

I'm confused. If he sleeps in his boxers, do you want him to change them twice a day? With one pair for daytime, and one for night? That seems like overkill, to me. As long as he's showering and changing his pants after he gets sweaty at the gym, what's the issue? Are you walking around sniffing his bum during the day? Does he actually smell of B.O.? Because if he does, then yes, he should change twice. But otherwise, what's the big deal?

Do men often 'leak' in your experience?? 😳

My husband does this, he’s a tradie so is up super early, so can just stick his work shorts straight on and out the door, then stops at gym on way home. Seems pointless for him to change them in the morning!!

I wouldn't like this either OP

He should probably shower and change after the gym, but aside from that it's perfectly normal behaviour. Not everyone breaks into a sweat in bed and if you're just doing something like yoga or weights at the gym you might not sweat doing that.

Someone trying to dictate when I change my underwear would be a huge red flag. It's something I'm quite capable of doing without "suggestions".

Each to their own. This way, you get your DP in bed in clean pants. If he sleeps in pants, and doesn't want to do through two pairs a day, do you really want him in bed in the pants he's already worn for 14+ hrs and done gym in?

Wearing daytime clothes in bed is just weird, tho, but so is thinking that pants worn for 48 hrs turned inside-out at the halfway point would be more hygienic than changing into a clean pair of pants at the 24 hr point.

Don’t see the issue at all.

I do this! Fresh pants on in the morning after a shower. New ones on when I get in from work. If I go for a walk or something I might change again before bed.

I shower at night, sleep in knickers and then wear them all day until I shower in the evening again, so does DH. Surely nobody changes twice a day?

Why do you think sleeping makes you sweat?

If you are sweating in your sleep your bedroom/bedding are too warm.

I dont sweat in my sleep?

No strong opinion on it.
I wouldn't do it, though. For me it wouldn't feel right.

This is a very mild hygiene issue.
I think that if you really liked him it wouldn't bother you.
I'd break up now before you reach the point where everything he does bugs you.

I wouldn't care about this but I do find people who don't shower in the morning odd 😆

I can't see the problem.

If he goes to the gym at 7pm, it's better to go in dirty boxers than fresh ones?

It's only like putting on pants in the morning and wearing them til the next morning. I regularly do that.

It would not bother me in fact I’d be pleased he was showering and putting on a fresh pair before getting in bed with me

This is such a mind-boggling thread.
Even on MN, there's no real outcry of what a pig he is, it's such a really mild hygiene issue.

Why are you asking OP?
You really can't be that into him if something that trivial bothers you.
I mean ffs.

Are you seeking other women's permission to get rid of him and need working up to it?

Weird.

If he slept naked would you wash the sheets daily ?

ah maybe you are one of those people who changes sheets daily, has clean PJ three times a night and uses towels only once?

I’d LTB OP. If this bothers you now things won’t get better as he settles in.

oh and you are being totally weird. It’s normal for him to do what he’s doing imo.

I don’t know how anyone can not have a shower in the morning, especially where it’s been so hot recently.

Why would going for a walk necessitate a change of pants?

If its warm weather i might have got a bit sweaty

You honestly think 'nobody' does things differently to you? I do, so that's one person anyway 😀

What? Sleeping is not the thing that makes your body sweat. I also wear pants for 24 hours and change in the morning. It’s fine. It’s also more fine for men than women because men don’t have discharge leaking etc

Recently had to do this because we went on holiday for 2 weeks and couldn’t be taking over a 100 pairs of pants between us, honestly can’t say I smelled anyone’s pants! I think it would have felt gross if the rooms weren’t air conditioned if we had a sweaty night sleep!

Why would he sweat overnight but not sweat during the day though? Sweating is not confined to a bed. If I sweat, it’s definitely more during the day, when I’m up and around rather than laying in bed, so by that logic, I’d be changing undies during the day and night and wearing gosh knows how many pairs a day!

I think changing them once a day is fine, and he is doing so after the gym - so, showering and changing at some point after the gym. If he showered, put on fresh undies, went to gym and then stayed in them for 24hours, I’d think it quite odd, but what you describe is fine.

The only thing that's gross is wearing them to the gym and not showering, changing them straight away. Unless he gyms after work comes back showers and then new pair and bed.