AIBU to find sleeping in and re-wearing boxers the next day unhygienic?

[Seraphina9]

I have noticed something quite disconcerting about my fairly new DP in relation to his bedtime routine. It has been green flags all around so far, but I'm starting to feel that this could be the first notions of the ick.

My DP showers in the evenings and changes into a fresh pair of boxers before bed. All fine and perfectly normal. He wakes up for work before me and I assumed that he changes into a fresh pair in the morning. Alas, he just remains in the boxers that he has slept in, gets dressed for work and wears the pants that he has slept in the entire following day (and to the gym I hasten to add). Rinse and repeat.

I can't fathom wearing underwear that I've slept in for the entirety of the following day; I would feel revolting and would be paranoid that I smelt at work. All I can think of is how sweaty it must be, particularly after going to the gym. I have raised this with him, but he became super defensive and just said that it is just his bedtime routine. Is this what men are doing now? He said at least he's not turning the same pair inside out and re-using them for two days- I think he was joking, but I actually think that would be more hygienic!

Assuming you’re not a weird pants troll then yes I think that’s a bit gross.

That's what my dh does, except the gym, he is scrupulously clean.

I was going to ask how you would feel if he put on fresh boxers in the morning, wore them all day and then slept in them. But the gym thing is nasty.

Does he go to the gym before or during work? Doesn’t he shower after the gym?

What's the difference with putting clean on at night and changing the next night compared to putting clean on in the morning and changing the next morning?
The time wearing them is the same.

So he changes them every day, just at night rather than in the morning? I think that's fine, once they are changed every day. If he is a night time showerer, then it makes sense to change them when he showers.

When does he do gym? End of day so it's the last thing he wears those pants for? If so, I can just about get on board with this. I don't sweat much at night so I think I could probably do this without issue. Any other permutation I wouldn't be happy with.

However in practice I don't...I shower in the morning after gym, and I don't wear pants in bed.

Yanbu he needs to change them, and have a wash in the mornings

Presumably youre intimate before bed as well, it'll take its toll

Also, he's not re-wearing them, he's just wearing them. They're only being worn once.

I doubt many men change pants twice a day. Unless he sweats in the night I can’t see what your issue is. I presume he changes after going to the gym & then puts on fresh clothes.

Does he go to the gym at the end of the day? If so then I think it’s a bit odd but it wouldn’t bother me. Loads of people wear pants for 24hrs, they just tend to start in the morning not the evening.

I live with 3 men/boys who all go through 14 pairs of pants a week, feel like I’m constantly washing pants 🤪

I wouldn't have an issue with it

Seems normal to me. I shower when I am finished working about 5pm. Put on cleZn pants and PJ's and wear till 5pm following day. Partner is the same

I do this. It's not re-wearing. It's for 24 hours, regardless of whether they're put on fresh at 8am or 10pm. Or does everyone else change underwear twice a day?

The gym thing I'm not sure about. When I exercise at the weekend I do shower and put fresh on, regardless of time of day.

If I thought someone was creating unnecessary washing or overly (IMO) worried about hygiene I think that would put me off them more than this would!

Yes, if he goes to the gym in the evening, then showers at home (or at the gym but then changes them) that's fine.
I usually have a bath at night but if I go to the gym at lunchtime but I'm working at home, I'll come home after the gym and shower then, just less faff than showering at the gym.

Non issue, I bath at night and change into clean underwear that stays on in the morning, if I go to the gym after work I wear the same underwear until I've showered (either at home or the gym) then change into clean ones.

If it's a hot sweaty night I'd change but as a rule they'd stay on until I next wash which is nightly.

Such a non issue. I have been known to wear the same pants all day, go to bed in them and then sometimes get up and go to the gym in the same ones. By then they are able to walk themselves to the laundry basket. Joking aside, he is doing nothing wrong.

I’m honestly shocked more people think this is ok than not 😳

It’s not the same as wearing clean underwear in the morning and changing the next morning because sleeping is what makes your body sweat, and that’s gonna stay on your sweaty pants if you don’t change them in the morning 🤢

It’s different because it’s sleeping in the underwear will make it sweaty, you wouldn’t sleep in PJs then wear them out? (Ok, I know some people do this, but it’s generally regarded as gross!)

I don’t sweat in bed.

I do prefer to shower in the morning though as it feels like a good way to wake up and start the day.

Does he smell? I think wearing underwear for 24 hours with a daily shower would be fine for a lot of people, I could have done it in my younger days, but not so much now in my 40s.

I'm more bothered about the word "gym" being used as a verb

Im surprised no one has said he needs to " let it breath" 😂
I mean thats what women get told about pants in bed !

I have day time pants and night time ones but often go without
Tbh as long as he changes daily theres no issue

Oh the artist formerly known as Prince Andrew has arrived.

I would let him know you find it unhygienic and would like him to change them again.