AIBU to find sleeping in and re-wearing boxers the next day unhygienic?

[Seraphina9]

I have noticed something quite disconcerting about my fairly new DP in relation to his bedtime routine. It has been green flags all around so far, but I'm starting to feel that this could be the first notions of the ick.

My DP showers in the evenings and changes into a fresh pair of boxers before bed. All fine and perfectly normal. He wakes up for work before me and I assumed that he changes into a fresh pair in the morning. Alas, he just remains in the boxers that he has slept in, gets dressed for work and wears the pants that he has slept in the entire following day (and to the gym I hasten to add). Rinse and repeat.

I can't fathom wearing underwear that I've slept in for the entirety of the following day; I would feel revolting and would be paranoid that I smelt at work. All I can think of is how sweaty it must be, particularly after going to the gym. I have raised this with him, but he became super defensive and just said that it is just his bedtime routine. Is this what men are doing now? He said at least he's not turning the same pair inside out and re-using them for two days- I think he was joking, but I actually think that would be more hygienic!

I’m sad about all the posters (presumably mostly women) who are aghast at the idea of sweating in bed. There is a good chance menopause will change that for you… I hope not, but just a warning. 😩😬

I think what he's doing is normal. He's changing his underwear and having a shower everyday. I would say it's what most people do unless they don't wear underwear in bed. It's not any more gross than changing his pants once a day but in the morning.

Depends if person showered before putting them on before sleeping in them and if they're a hot n sweaty person -each to their own!

Does he shit the bed in the night?

All of us in my family do this...showers im the evening before bed, clean underwear and then change them the next night after dhower. There's six of us...I have enough washing, im not adding to it by adding another 40 odd pairs of pants a week!

It’s got to the stage now where every time any MNer uses the H-word (hygienic, unhygienic) I start to think ‘OTT clean freak’.

The OP’s bloke could always do what my dh always has - sleep in the buff.

I don't know what men are doing, but the men in my family/home are twice per day showerers, and underwear is changed at shower time 🙁.
Doesn't he sweat at night?

I don’t see the issue. He goes to gym. Comes home. Showers. Clean pants
and wears for next day

what’s the diff when he changes them. It’s daily

do you wear /change knickers twice a day ?

equally I don’t sleep in knickers and have nighties so only wear 12/15hrs a day

I don't see what is unhygienic about it? Wearing pants from one shower to the next is surely normal and irrelevant what time you have that shower. If your downstairs is so sweaty and stinky I think that's your own problem.

Agreed. I always understood hygiene to refer to not spreading germs to avoid ilness, washing hands, cleaning after food preparation etc.

Now it seems a catch all term for a bit of normal bodily sweat and an excuse to create excessive laundry and use loads of water/chemicals

If he smells and looks clean and fresh enough, his clothing habits wouldn't concern me.

Exactly! My DS does the same. I put clean on in the morning and then wear them all day and night. 24 hours is just normal. Do most people wear 2 pairs per day?

It is interesting to see in this thread how the morning vs evening shower habits influence our thinking.

I'm showering in the evening and I don't think I would be able to rest in any clothes from the previous day including the underwear. In my eyes, night is period of inactivity, I get more dirty/sweaty during the day and getting the clothes off after the day is an act of comfort and hygiene for me.

I rationally understand that showering in the evening and in the morning means the same 24 hours frequency, but it still feels differently. My way and the other day. Thinking about it, I'm really glad my DP has the same pattern, I can imagine thinking that going to bed without shower would feel unhygienic to me (in someone I share the bed with)

I understand that some health/age conditions mean people are more sweaty at night, but we can safely assume that the OP's partner is not dealing with menopause, so it's no something he needs to consider.

There's a difference in the smell of sweat that is just a gentle body regulation during the night, or even a light workout at the gym, (eccrine sweat) and stress sweat (apocrine sweat). While large quantities of sweat should be washed off, like a big menopause night sweat or a heavy workout, even that won't make you smell the next day so long as you wash before too long. The usual sweat of night time should be reasonably ok smelling.

It's the "I was late for a meeting on a crowded tube for a boss I hate" sweat that really pongs.

In what way is it unhygienic?

@FourSevenThreeYes, I can imagine it would feel a bit yuck if you've showered before bed and your partner hasn't. If that was OP's complaint I would think fair enough, even though I'm a morning shower person. But OP's partner does shower before bed, he just doesn't put clean underwear on in the morning. If anything he should be the one complaining about OP going to bed all dirty.

I do this too. Shower in the evening put on clean pants and wear them the following day. The way I see it, it's no different to showering and changing them in the morning then wearing the same pants to bed. It's the same duration of wear.

DH does that. I found it weird at first but now it's fine. However, I'm a change-pants-in-the-morning kinda gal. As a result, our children go through two pairs of pants a day

I’m with you OP. It’s underwear, it’s not difficult to change. It’s fresh for bed, fresh in the morning here.

I do this! I leave the house at 6am so prefer to shower at night rather then first thing. I obviously brush my teeth, have a quick sink wash and use deodorant. I wear the same pants that I went to bed in after my night shower, nobody has ever told me I smell, I have never felt dirty.