AIBU to find sleeping in and re-wearing boxers the next day unhygienic?

[Seraphina9]

I have noticed something quite disconcerting about my fairly new DP in relation to his bedtime routine. It has been green flags all around so far, but I'm starting to feel that this could be the first notions of the ick.

My DP showers in the evenings and changes into a fresh pair of boxers before bed. All fine and perfectly normal. He wakes up for work before me and I assumed that he changes into a fresh pair in the morning. Alas, he just remains in the boxers that he has slept in, gets dressed for work and wears the pants that he has slept in the entire following day (and to the gym I hasten to add). Rinse and repeat.

I can't fathom wearing underwear that I've slept in for the entirety of the following day; I would feel revolting and would be paranoid that I smelt at work. All I can think of is how sweaty it must be, particularly after going to the gym. I have raised this with him, but he became super defensive and just said that it is just his bedtime routine. Is this what men are doing now? He said at least he's not turning the same pair inside out and re-using them for two days- I think he was joking, but I actually think that would be more hygienic!

Why is he only rinsing them?? How rank.

60° wash for underwear ffs.

I wouldn’t wear pants to bed that I had already been wearing all day. I like to go to bed clean. I can’t wear pants in bed anyway so for me it’s a moot point (but if I did wear pants to bed, I’d put fresh ones on rather than going to bed in pants I’d been wearing all day.) So for me, one pair of pants are worn for no more than about 15 hours.

But if it’s commonplace for people to wear pants for 24 hours, then I don’t suppose it matters if that 24 hours starts in the morning or evening.

Personally I think that’s fine. He showers after the gym and puts a fresh pair on. At least he’s super clean in bed.

Its not like with knickers as we have discharge - I can’t see why his pants wouldn’t be considered clean in the morning if they were fresh from a shower 12 hours before.

Not a big deal imo.

That's a saying that means to go through the same motions again - it doesn't mean he's rinsing his knickers out instead of washing them.

😂

I don’t know what yo tell you 🤷‍♀️ if it’s not baking hot and I’ve not been having sex I don’t sweat in bed. I don’t wake up sweaty. If you do, have you considered a lighter duvet?

What if he put the pants on in the morning and then wore them for 24 hours, you’d be fine with that?

Sorry people ARENT changing their pants twice a day?! Sometimes I'll change mine after work when I change out of my uniform then again at bedtime? One of life's small luxuries is clean pants!!!!

United I'm ill or is a heatwave I don't sweat at night either. I thought that's the norm. 🤔

I didn't either until I turned 49 ... now it's a totally different story

I don’t think it’s ‘unhygienic’ as such, but I do think a fresh pair is warranted after a night sleeping in them. Is he not a very sweaty sleeper?

I think many people shower once a day and change underwear once a day which I think is fine. Do you change underwear twice a day OP? Whether someone showers in the morning and changes underwear then or showers at night and changed then is the same thing. However, I don't see why he isn't showering and changing after the gym. That seems to be the issue.

I wouldn’t care - seems fine

I agree, the temperature and covers or not …are chosen so I don’t overheat. I definitely don’t sweat in bed as I like to be cool, window open etc…

Other people like to be warm / cosy and use a duvet etc..so sweat

He goes to the gym after work most days, usually around 7ish! He most certainly does sweat overnight, I've previously seen a yellow sweat stain on the sheets where he sleeps.

I couldn’t do it but it is different for a man, I don’t think it’s a huge deal, he’s hardly getting dirty when sleeping, they’re clean in the morning.

Me too, 46, never suffered night sweating until this year, now I need a shower every morning too.

I voted that YABU as far as wearing boxers he's slept in. If he were going to the gym and getting sweaty, then going to work all day, that might be a bit smelly, but if he goes to the gym after work, then comes home and showers, I wouldn't see a problem with that. If you haven't noticed him smelling of sweat in the morning, I doubt anyone else would.

So he goes to the gym and then comes home and has a shower basically? I think that's fine.

You didn't say. Do you change your underwear twice a day? Is that what you object to?

I think most people change theirs in the morning rather than at night, but it's still once every 24 hours. Nothing wrong with that at all, assuming a normal level of hygiene.

Does he smell, if so tell him, if not leave him be.

Pants should be changed every morning after a man’s typical night of sweating, itching and god knows what else leaking out 🤮

Pure laziness not to and I have never known a partner do this.

@Seraphina9 After he is asleep you need to get a look at his gym kit. Check his workout shorts, are they the type with an inner liner, either a net crotch or cycling shorts? If so maybe he removes his underpants for the gym. Then all you need to worry about is how often he washes the shorts.

I think it's normal to shower once a day and wear a pair of pants for 24 hours. Most people change theirs in the morning rather than the evening, but I don't think this is a big deal.

I don’t see a big deal, surely most people only change underwear once per day. You’d have a problem if people could smell you from wearing boxers that you put on less than 24hrs prior.

What's supposed to be wrong here?

He showers, takes a fresh underwear, wear it through 24 hours period with a gym close to the end. Sounds ok and practical.