To think a daily shower is not excessive for a 12 & 14 YO?

[Question2288]

DP has just decreed a daily shower as ‘excessive’ and they are absolutely not to have them.

Do you want to share more about his unpleasant behaviour?

Do you have plans to split up? It must be awful for your DC. 💐

A daily shower is essential at those ages

mine are every other day showerers unless they really need to be more frequent.

I don't think the issue here is frequency though.. its someone trying to restrict it.

a 5 min shower once a day isn't anything worth restricting.

Essential not excessive.

a) He is disgusting for only showering a few times a week 🤢

b) Everyone should be showering daily, and teenagers especially due to their raging hormones. Also a really important point in their lives for learning good hygiene and self care routines.

What is wrong with this guy?!

Why are you with him?

Ugh.

Tell him to fuck off

Put your children first, get rid of him.

Why do you need strangers on the internet to tell you that it's not ok for some man to tell your kids they can't WASH THEMSELVES in your home?

This can't be the only thing he does like this.

how can you stay with such a pig in the first place?

My kids or I tend to have 2 showers every day.

My teens shower twice a day but the understanding is that each shower lasts no more than 5 mins.
On the last holiday we went on, showers were unrestricted and I swear their room was like an actual steam room. Their unworn holiday clothes had to be tumble dried at home to eliminate the dampness!
The OP’s partner is being a dick to ban daily showers but could reasonably restrict the duration.doesn’t sound like he’s reasonable though…

This is not a good environment for teens - where a non parent has this level of input.

Did he move into your home? Does he pay 50% of everything (including rent/mortgage) even though he is one person or does he get a free pass on the roof over his head?

Tell him to do one@Question2288. I expect he's a cocklodger getting too comfortable.

He needs to be out of there. This is not healthy to subject your kids to.

He's controlling and likely abusive. He thinks because he pays half the utilities he can dictate how often your kids shower so he can save money while they go to school smelling bad and are learning shitty hygiene habits to save his pocketbook?

He sounds kind of disgusting, showering only 3 times a week. Asshole.

I guess the D in DP stands for Dirty and Dictator.

Of course it isn’t!!! Their hormones stink

A five minute max shower daily is completely normal, if you drip feed it’s 15 minutes long then I agree with him

He only showers three times a week? Ugh. 🤢That would be relationship-ending for me.

3 times a week? I bet he smells lovely 🤮

What a fucking surprise it’s a step parent, who saw that coming.

In the good old days you had a stand up wash at the sink with a flannel every morning. No wonder we are so short of water. Excessive showering/bathing, daily/twice daily, is getting ridiculous and the cost in terms of water usage is scandalous.

My similarly aged kids shower daily, not even something I particularly instilled in them, never had to fight them to do it, just something they chose to start doing around the time of starting high school. I’d never stop them.

A long time ago but when my children started year 6 (last year of primary school) we had our start of year meeting with the teacher and she told all the parents that the children were starting to go through puberty and could we please make sure that they showered every day. I think most children in her class were showering daily. The teacher was just trying to tell the parents of the ones who weren’t.
OP, don’t stick with someone who can’t be bothered to shower.

Children/teens of this age should definitely shower everyday! I certainly did when I was 12. It is unhygienic not to.

Controlling arsehole, get rid !

I immediately knew he wasn’t their dad as I knew he didn’t get close enough cuddling them to realise that unwashed teenagers smell ‘fuggy’.

So he doesn’t cuddle them, doesn’t have their wellbeing or social life in mind - off he FUCKS

Are we short of water? 🤔