To think a daily shower is not excessive for a 12 & 14 YO?

[Question2288]

DP has just decreed a daily shower as ‘excessive’ and they are absolutely not to have them.

Even my 7yo has a shower or bath every day! Especially in summer when he gets gross and sweaty every day.

@Question2288
So are you going to continue to inflict this man on your children?

Teenage years can be hard enough without being smelly too. Especially in this muggy weather.

It’s nothing to do with showers.

I don't think a daily shower is unreasonable for teens and DP sounds like a twat for trying to restrict showers as long as they're not spending hours in there each time.

BUT those who are saying showering less than daily is disgusting are also unreasonable. Some people smell more than others. I shower around 2-3 times a week, more in summer and rarely need deodorant in winter. I just don't get BO. My teens usually shower every couple of days and they don't smell except on particularly hot days or after sport (when they would be showering).

Your boyfriend dictating when your kids are allowed to wash their bodies is so creepy, and psychotic.
Do they really want him in their home?

You’re with a man who only showers around 3 times a week? That’s revolting and I shudder to think what he’s like generally as a human being if that’s the tip of the iceberg as you say.

There were kids at school who had creepy dirty step fathers / partners of their mothers and they weren’t allowed to shower daily. I thought it was awful as a child decades ago and I still think it’s abusive to hear about it now (the exception being, eg you’re on tank water and you all need to ration water for
genuine necessity and you can have a strip wash etc).

What else are you or your DC not allowed to do ? Daily showers are essential for teenagers.

I think you need to reevaluate this relationship as it doesn’t sound like a healthy one

Yuk, he must stink. Surely you cannot be sharing a bed with him?

I have tears in my eyes reading all of your messages.

I know I need to leave. We have a shared DC so it makes it trickier.

I have hundreds of examples like this.

You know what you have to do to protect your DC. God knows what goes on behind your back when you’re not there.

The red flags couldn't be bigger. The biggest risk to a child is an unrelated male.

I remember how uncomfortable I was made to feel having my mothers boyfriends inexplicably brought into my house when I was around these kids ages. Protect your kids from this man OP.

You poor kids, hundreds of examples like this! Please give them their childhood back, they have lost enough to your partner.

We all shower daily in this house.

I remember a teacher at school holding a lesson stating “at our age (12) we are expected to shower every day”, I feel this was for the benefit of those that didn’t. Of course let them shower each day, they might feel embarrassed or just uncomfortable and unclean if not!

I can smell this thread.

Always posters who romanticize the flannel at the sink bath and those who “don’t smell” so they don’t need to shower daily. I can smell every single person who doesn’t shower at least daily. People have no idea of their personal scent…and many of them are not pleasant

Unless you are struggling financially and making a choice between eating and paying for gas/electric he is being a twat.

If finances are that tight though, a quick sink wash of pits and bits is enough if they haven't been particularly active then a proper head to toe shower every other day. Personally I would hate that though!

Your DP is a bellend. At that age kids need showers. Does he want them to be unpopular at school because they stink of BO? Tell him to fuck off!

My friend's older sister's 2 teen boys didn't shower regularly. They reeked. So did her husband. They were rather nose blind to it. 🤢

Well he'd have a shock if it was me, my kids have been bathed/showered daily and into clean pjs/clothes since my eldest was born 20 years ago! Hygiene is none negotiable in this house.

Showering daily is something to encourage not discourage. DP is bonkers

A friend of mine will have a flannel wash. All that faff- a shower is easier in my opinion.

Believe me, you do smell 🤦‍♀️

Agreed, people are just to polite to say anything.