My sister keeps criticising me for travelling

[whoamitocomplain]

I’m 27, and live alone in a rented flat. I have a decent salary and get by pretty happily on my own.

My sister is 31, and her and her husband have 2 sons under 3. Since the youngest was born, they’ve probably been abroad once a month. A lot of the time, they got out the children. This started when the youngest was about 5 months old.

I was at their house a couple of weeks ago and they asked when I was going to “stop this travelling business” and settle down with a mortgage. I have been abroad once this year and have three more holidays planned.

My sister has now responded to a close friends instagram story I posted with a countdown to my next trip and said it all seems really excessive and I shouldn’t be going away like I am. I pay for it all outright, don’t use delayed payments, pay in three or credit cards etc.

AIBU to snap back and ask why she cares so much when she’s leaving her kids once a month to go abroad? They’re always with my brother in law’s parents when they go, and I’m pretty fed up of the hypocritical criticism from them when they do the same, if not worse!

I am sorry that happened in your family but as is said on MN "No is a complete sentence"

Not in a real family, unfortunately and not in the case of my poor mum and long-suffering dad. Unfortunately, family members always impact other family members, by their action or inaction.

why not? I mean I get your Mum and Dad didn't refuse but why is it not done in "real families" "I am sorry, we can't afford to cover your mortgage" "I am sorry we have no room for you to move in" and why entertainment FFS?

I can imagine saying 'I can't cover your mortgage, because I can't, but I honestly won't be able to say 'we don't have room for you', to an immediate family member, even if I have to sleep on the floor.

Stop projecting your family’s issues on to other people.

if I had a CF relative, I definitely could.

But you see, she was not a CF, the aunt. She just lived like a teenager until her 90s (yes, her 90s). No children, no responsibility, love of travel, etc. She was working too, not too strenuously, in a job she loved. Never married, never had children. A sort of Barbara Pym spinster, but not quite. Very immature.

but she expected to be bailed out. I'd call that CF

She's jealous! As am I 🤣 I'd love to have your freedom!

Could be, don't know. In our family it was called 'being a standard family'.

for standard family behaviour, it seems to have upset you?

Of course!