My sister keeps criticising me for travelling

[whoamitocomplain]

I’m 27, and live alone in a rented flat. I have a decent salary and get by pretty happily on my own.

My sister is 31, and her and her husband have 2 sons under 3. Since the youngest was born, they’ve probably been abroad once a month. A lot of the time, they got out the children. This started when the youngest was about 5 months old.

I was at their house a couple of weeks ago and they asked when I was going to “stop this travelling business” and settle down with a mortgage. I have been abroad once this year and have three more holidays planned.

My sister has now responded to a close friends instagram story I posted with a countdown to my next trip and said it all seems really excessive and I shouldn’t be going away like I am. I pay for it all outright, don’t use delayed payments, pay in three or credit cards etc.

AIBU to snap back and ask why she cares so much when she’s leaving her kids once a month to go abroad? They’re always with my brother in law’s parents when they go, and I’m pretty fed up of the hypocritical criticism from them when they do the same, if not worse!

I’m happy as I am at the moment. Healthy savings, a clear plan to ownership, and a lifestyle that makes me happy. I could start the process of buying but at the moment I don’t want to. I’m not sure whether I’ll still be in the UK this time next year or not, so don’t want to lock in yet.

Housing is not an asset, because it can't be sold for a profit. If you sell it, you would just be spending the money on a different place to live.

The only people who profit from rising house prices are banks.

No, because generally speaking, all housing appreciates in value.

Don't delude yourself into thinking that you are gaining wealth because your house price is going up. It means nothing. The only winner is the bank and creeps who work in the financial sector.

You can borrow against it.

I know people who buy a house, and rent out the other rooms. Passive income FTW.

I do yes but I wouldn't think less of someone if they didn't and prioritised travel when they're young.

Not to mention the risk of house prices fluctuating and not being able to get out of your obligation easily. Even if your house does sell for more it barely covers inflation

While it’s an interesting debate, I don’t think it’s particularly relevant to me as I may well end up leaving the UK, she knows this and knows that I’m keen to explore the idea of living and working abroad.

Your sister sounds mean. It’s fine not to want to travel with children if you don’t have them but loving parents don’t take frequent holidays without their children. And travel with children can actually be loads of fun. It’s what the vast majority of parents do. You’re footloose and fancy free - it’s brilliant that you’re travelling so much. Bon voyage!

Your Sister sounds like a hypocrite, but I can’t believe you didn’t turn her double standards back on her. Why on earth didn’t you say something to her?
Next time she says something you need to be armed with a fabulous retort to her ridiculousness.

Why, thort we were supposed to be reducing our ‘carbon footprint’! Shouldn’t they set their children a better example????

OP I rented in my 20s. And had my kids in my 30s. I promise you that during those exhausted and sometimes depressing newborn days, I cherished the memories of all the travelling and holidays I had in my 20s. I held onto those memories like a precious jewel, thinking at least I made the most of my freedom! Enjoy yourself!

Bit rich coming from her considering she ditches her kids off to relatives to go on more holidays than you do. Ask her why she feels the need to shove her nose in your business

I was the older sister, married at 23, my first child at 25, whereas my sister travelled with her then boyfriend round Europe, they've been to loads of countries and enjoyed a child free 20s, she's now in her 30s with two kids, and I have to hand it to her, travels to different countries with them. I would never have had a go at her for going away so much, I admire her and think she's amazing for travelling and seeing other countries, what an experience! And the freedom to do it without other responsibilities, like yourself, that's fantastic and in my opinion a great way to spend your life.

I think you're a leveled headed person with your sh*t together personally and I applaud you for your independence. You're right. You DONT have to settle down have kids etc at your age, you're still young and your still experiencing life. I personally think your sister is jealous and she wishes she did the same when she was your age as now she's being judged (as you say by the wider family) for going away all the time, she is definitely diverting the light onto you a bit there. The difference is you haven't got her responsibilities and you can literally do what you want..
I'm actually slightly concerned for her children and how she looks after them... Have you spoken to your parents about this? Have they spoken to her? We listen and we don't judge... However sounds a little neglectful? That being said could she have a bit of pnd and is fortunate enough to mask it with nursery and holidays? Who knows, only she does, but. If I was you? The next time she says it, I wouldn't even grace it with a response just say "if that's how you would live life then I'm happy for you" and move on from it. She's never going to stop criticising and she will only make you out to be the problem.
Enjoy your next holiday, I bet you cannot wait ❤️

She goes abroad every month and has 2 kids under 3?
Meanwhile you're single with not kids and go abroad much less than that, and yet she has a problem with YOUR amount of travel?
Make it make sense 🤔

Is she bothered about you going away? Or is she trying to say you really should buy a house before you spend lots of money on holidays? Depends what your financial situation is doesn’t it. I wouldn’t be prioritising lots of holidays if I was only renting.

Why on earth don’t you just answer her back?? Leaving two small children to go abroad every month is outrageous! How do they even do it? Do they not have jobs??

I'd set up a countdown to your sister's next trip abroad (and add in 'leaving the kids with grandparents for 4 days').... No one will take notice the 1st time.... But after the 4th in 6 months or whatever, it'll be noted......

(It means they don’t want to travel with the children, even though they aren’t invalids)

What I’d like to know OP is what does it mean to “love renting”? I mean I get that you won’t have to pay for a new boiler etc., but what’s to love about it, especially when you’re planning to buy in a couple of years anyway?

Just say "I'm trying to keep up with you guys"!

She sounds jealous. I would bat her stupid comment back to her. What an idiot she sounds 🤦🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️