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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Literally does not care

104 replies

Myfannyhurtsagain · 15/02/2026 00:24

I need to write this in here cos I need to know if I’m going mad or not.

Me and DP use dildos sometimes along with other toys, we haven’t in a while cos they make me spot and I get so sore. We found one the other day tucked away in the cupboard well, I found it and I thought I’d use it to surprise him with. I did that and he loved it. Problem is it gave me the worst thrush I’ve ever had in my life , on top of that I’m on the pill so I suffer with dryness and I used no lube so now I’ve also got friction burns.

DP wanted me to do the same thing tonight. Despite me telling him earlier before we used it again I need to get lube, he said ok. I’ve also got one more treatment left to use up to get rid of this thrush. He’s now forgotten what he said and that he never agreed with me that we needed to use lube.

apparently I always use excuses all the time and other women would just do it? I’m sorry but I can’t even open my legs properly im so fucking sore and uncomfortable. I only used it for him in the first place anyway cos I knew he liked it🤣 and also on the pill for him cos he refuses to wear condoms and refuses to get the snip.

is this normal behaviour ? Do I need to just suck it up and stop being a drama queen ? He’s now sleeping downstairs refusing to speak to me cos his needs aren’t met 🤷🏻‍♀️ I wish I could meet his needs but my fanny is fucking sore , it stings so bad when I wee. I’ll be going back to the gp on Monday cos it hasn’t even cleared up!

OP posts:
MissCooCooMcgoo · 16/02/2026 13:00

Urgh, for so many reasons.

  1. Clean your toys - they can be a huge infection risk
  2. Have you considered you might have a latex allergy? The spotting and soreness after using suggest it could be something like this. Unless he is being incredibly rough
  3. Throw this one away babes and value yourself higher.
rafeal · 16/02/2026 13:10

Myfannyhurtsagain · 15/02/2026 21:18

Sorry for late reply guys been chilling with the kids as it’s been such a windy wet day!

he’s laid upstairs , all day. Barely spoken to me, but he’s told me he’s lost interest in me, again. This happens when he feels he isn’t getting his sexual needs met. I said thats fine but I gave you no impression we was going to do anything sexual and he just said it doesn’t matter always an excuse and I’m boring so I just said ok and shut down.

im not one to argue so i cant be arsed if I’m honest.

Going to boots tomorrow to get some more canesten so hopefully that works.
about the size, yes bigger the better however I have put my foot down recently so now I get the choice.
I don’t dislike them, but if me and him split up, I’d never use one on myself at all.

Im goin to let him get on with his shit and get over his mood, and when he wants to know me. I won’t be there, he can fuck off

Ugh he sounds really repulsive.

Pricelessadvice · 16/02/2026 13:13

What do you get out of being with this selfish prick?

Tiramisutoyou · 16/02/2026 13:13

I’m aghast he doesn’t care about your health - he just wants to override your health needs to get his kicks

purely selfish

dump him this is not going anywhere good for you

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