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Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Inappropriate deep tissue massage

117 replies

Purpl · 14/02/2026 22:09

Yesterday had a deep tissue massage by qualified osteopath. Attached to a sports club. Looks after the team given the sport anticpate is mainly male. Anyway he was a youngish male & im not young. I had trousers on as working on neck shoulders back. All very professional and work was good clearly qualified as ive had issues for years. They can be a bit uncomfortable/tender so concentrating on relaxing. I was face down and hands by side palm. I felt something brush against me his bits thought wtf that embarrassing. Few mins later i was very conscious that it was most definitely his bits firmly in my hand for what seemed a long time but was probably no more than 2 mins. I froze as suddenly second guessing what im feeling. He continued to work on back and waa talking generally i threw in references to husband but basically just ignored. No other issues throughout. This is weird been thinking this morning this couldnt have been an accident twice? Surely? A google online broight this up ill try and upload but it’s exactly what happened. Has anyone else had this? Are there any physios on here? Is this innocent? Im atcually fine but has made me think how vunerable i could have been. I had a male physio for 7 years and this never happened before.

Inappropriate deep tissue massage
OP posts:
alexdgr8 · 14/02/2026 23:02

FourSevenTwo · 14/02/2026 22:49

Report to who?

His governing body

Noshadelamp · 14/02/2026 23:05

Just because there are no neg reviews doesn't mean it hasn't happened before. It's so subtle that a lot of women will be like you, wondering and then dismissing it because everything else seemed so normal and professional.
I would definitely report him and leave a public neg review.

Purpl · 14/02/2026 23:07

ResusciAnnie · 14/02/2026 22:55

What the fuck is that screenshot?? Do you have a link to that site? Utterly bizarre. All my deep tissue massages are in the position but all my massage therapists have been women. Wow that is so gross.

I dont anymore it was a legal site witness expert think amercian. I just googled is this normal and what happened

OP posts:
Purpl · 14/02/2026 23:08

Gonnagetgoingreturnsagain · 14/02/2026 22:42

I years ago had massage from a gay man and I felt he may have been getting turned on by this. Was the main reason I didn’t return. I could’ve been hyper sensitive but I don’t think I was.

Im sorry to hear that

OP posts:
Purpl · 14/02/2026 23:10

catera · 14/02/2026 22:43

Please report. A guy local to me was doing the same, it escalated and he’s been arrested

Sorry to be thick but who should i report to? Osetopath society? Police or the sports team manager he’s affiliated to?

OP posts:
EmeraldShamrock000 · 14/02/2026 23:12

Please say something to someone, he is a creep who has probably done this many times. It takes one person to blow the cover.
I hope you’re okay.

Princessconsuelabananahammock9 · 14/02/2026 23:16

Gonnagetgoingreturnsagain · 14/02/2026 22:42

I years ago had massage from a gay man and I felt he may have been getting turned on by this. Was the main reason I didn’t return. I could’ve been hyper sensitive but I don’t think I was.

What made you think he was getting turned on?

Princessconsuelabananahammock9 · 14/02/2026 23:17

OP report it to them.

I’m so sorry this happened to you. 💐

fashionqueen0123 · 14/02/2026 23:17

A guy at a spa near me was arrested and charged for this. God knows how many women he actually assaulted. Sadly got a crap sentence

catera · 14/02/2026 23:19

Purpl · 14/02/2026 23:10

Sorry to be thick but who should i report to? Osetopath society? Police or the sports team manager he’s affiliated to?

Police. It’s sexual assault

anonnecessary · 14/02/2026 23:22

catera · 14/02/2026 22:43

Please report. A guy local to me was doing the same, it escalated and he’s been arrested

This has also happened in my town. But OP, I will warn you of the following - the trial didn't happen for FIVE years after the original offence was reported. The defence went for the victims like an attack dog. No conviction was secured. Very sad and bad. It was the same sort of stuff - his penis being put on her hand.

This stuff is commonplace unfortunately. I would never ever go to a male massage therapist because of the commonness of this type of incident. These bastards know that victims often freeze. It probably thrills them.

DavidPeckham · 14/02/2026 23:24

So, I have extensive experience in this space, and have never heard of a manoeuvre where you would intentionally rest your bits in a clients hand. I can’t find the page that you are referencing but it is most certainly not something taught on massage or professional (physio) therapies courses. There are two possibilities:

  1. It was accidental
  2. It was for his sexual gratification

I’m not going to rule either out completely, however I’d suggest that it is far more likely to be the former. Unfortunately when you are administering a massage you can very much lose track of where everything is. You might be the sixth client that day and he’s thinking about what is for dinner later, or who is going to win the football tomorrow. You become so completely blasé to the human body that you’re on auto pilot, but for your client of course it might be the first time they’ve had a massage or they might think why is this guys groin rubbing against my arm. I’m not going to say there aren’t bad eggs out there. There are and maybe he is one of them. I would say however that with both sexes body parts do get in the way at times however much you try not to let them.

CalmTheFuckDownMargaret · 14/02/2026 23:26

I’d view this as sexual assault, not an accident, and I’d complain. I really would. I have deep tissue massages every month. There is NO NEED for his dick to be in your hand or touching your hand for anything more than one split second by accident if you suddenly moved. Look at these news reports from the past two months alone. He’s a fucking pervert.

https://www.edp24.co.uk/news/25829044.west-norfolk-masseur-sentenced-sexually-assaulting-man/?ref=yahoo

https://www.standard.co.uk/news/crime/london-masseur-sexual-assault-urban-massage-b1266295.html

https://www.watfordobserver.co.uk/news/25765301.sex-pest-masseur-targeted-women-herts-hotel-jailed/

Man sentenced after sexually assaulting client he was massaging

A masseur from a village near King's Lynn who sexually assaulted one of his clients mid-treatment has been sentenced.

https://www.edp24.co.uk/news/25829044.west-norfolk-masseur-sentenced-sexually-assaulting-man/?ref=yahoo

arethereanyleftatall · 14/02/2026 23:28

When I have a hot stone massage, and I’m in the same position, she often places a hot stone in the palm of my hands when she’s doing a particular area (I can’t remember which - shoulder maybe?) then when she’s finished, she takes the stone out and my whole arm feels lighter. Are you 💯 sure it was his cock?

LeaningtotheJackofHearts · 14/02/2026 23:37

Lovemycat2023 · 14/02/2026 22:51

We had a massage therapist at a local spa I go to who was prosecuted for assault (I haven’t had a massage there). Report to the venue (if he was employed) and if self employed or you’re not happy with the response report to the police. This guy had done it a lot of times and I’m glad he was caught, but I bet some women had struggled to report him.

I'm sure there's more than one but this wasn't by any chance in Surrey was it? I had a (slightly) unnerving rather than properly abusive, but not appropriate experience as the guest of a friend in a swanky spa. I found out the next time I went (a year or so later) he wasn't working there any more. I had thought it was a bit odd to give a woman a male masseur without making me aware first.

Purpl · 14/02/2026 23:38

It definitely was a stone plus he woukd have said im putting this in your hand surely? It felt like the shiny tracksuit bottoms. I didnt look as head down im 99% sure. Like i say second guessing myself and hesitant to report.
ill think i try and call club he affliated to and the osteopath body but would rather be annoymous. I guessing if there more than 1 complaint he be looked into. Ive also messaged someone i know vaguely female who posted a good review to see what her experience was.

OP posts:
Purpl · 14/02/2026 23:39

LeaningtotheJackofHearts · 14/02/2026 23:37

I'm sure there's more than one but this wasn't by any chance in Surrey was it? I had a (slightly) unnerving rather than properly abusive, but not appropriate experience as the guest of a friend in a swanky spa. I found out the next time I went (a year or so later) he wasn't working there any more. I had thought it was a bit odd to give a woman a male masseur without making me aware first.

Not surrey no

OP posts:
BrownSharpie · 14/02/2026 23:42

The list of times my hand has made contact for various amounts of time with the persons breast, pubic area or cock whilst they’ve been massaging me is long. The table is often crotch hight and they’re leaning over you, I’m often more tense because I’m concentrating so hard on not accidentally touching them.

It was highly likely an accident. If you don’t feel comfortable going again, don’t but don’t potentially ruins a man’s career & life over something you’re not 1000% certain of. You don’t even know for sure if it was his genitals.

LionelMushroom · 14/02/2026 23:44

I used to be a Sports Massage Practitioner (not an osteopath) - I was always very aware of where my body/ clothing was in relation to the client and, given the intimate nature of the service, always took steps to maintain appropriate/ suitable distance, give the client privacy for changing position and always warned them when putting hands on - especially when they are face down. I also checked in throughout to make sure they understood what was happening, were okay to continue etc.

I believe that they knew exactly what they were doing, unless they have absolutely no sensation in their genitals I don’t see how they can fail to notice. If it had happened that their groin accidentally brushed your hand, the first thing I’d expect them to do would be apologise and either move your hand or change their position.

Any osteopath will be part of a professional body - the General Osteopathic Council - and they have a code of conduct/ code of ethics.

From the perspective of being an osteopath you could raise a complaint with the sports club and/ or the GOC. It is also sexual assault and you could involve the police.

i hope you’re doing okay and have some support around you.

Aeroandpasta · 14/02/2026 23:44

I went to a residential spa which had a male massage therapist who used to say “can I do anything else for you” at the end. I always said no but I wondered afterwards if that was an invitation for something extra?!

Purpl · 14/02/2026 23:45

anonnecessary · 14/02/2026 23:22

This has also happened in my town. But OP, I will warn you of the following - the trial didn't happen for FIVE years after the original offence was reported. The defence went for the victims like an attack dog. No conviction was secured. Very sad and bad. It was the same sort of stuff - his penis being put on her hand.

This stuff is commonplace unfortunately. I would never ever go to a male massage therapist because of the commonness of this type of incident. These bastards know that victims often freeze. It probably thrills them.

thats awful. I could see perfectly well why i could be disredited i spoke to him then paid and watched while he showed me strengthening excercises. He must have known I suddenly tensed up im sure my back would have shown that to an expert.

OP posts:
Shynapple · 14/02/2026 23:50

Purpl · 14/02/2026 23:07

I dont anymore it was a legal site witness expert think amercian. I just googled is this normal and what happened

I found it: https://benbenjamin.com/make-pelvic-contact-with-the-clients-head-or-body/

I'm really sorry that this happened to you.

Crikeyalmighty · 14/02/2026 23:52

Memories of the sex and the city episode with Samantha -

Anxietyspiral · 14/02/2026 23:53

I'm a massage therapist and this makes me so angry, sorry this happened in what is supposed to be a safe space.

Consent and client comfort is drilled into us in training and he sounds much more highly trained than me so I doubt it was an accident. I always take great care to only touch the area I'm working on and not lean on the client while working. It would be impossible for me to lean my vulva on someone's hand without realising, and a knob is apparently more sensitive!

Purpl · 15/02/2026 00:00

BrownSharpie · 14/02/2026 23:42

The list of times my hand has made contact for various amounts of time with the persons breast, pubic area or cock whilst they’ve been massaging me is long. The table is often crotch hight and they’re leaning over you, I’m often more tense because I’m concentrating so hard on not accidentally touching them.

It was highly likely an accident. If you don’t feel comfortable going again, don’t but don’t potentially ruins a man’s career & life over something you’re not 1000% certain of. You don’t even know for sure if it was his genitals.

This is literally why I’m torn. He was very tall and the bench is at that height. It would be awful if literally accidentally. Im fine in myself. I wont risk going back.
but as others have said what if this is his norm and he escalates as not warned off.

OP posts:
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