Inappropriate deep tissue massage

[Purpl]

Yesterday had a deep tissue massage by qualified osteopath. Attached to a sports club. Looks after the team given the sport anticpate is mainly male. Anyway he was a youngish male & im not young. I had trousers on as working on neck shoulders back. All very professional and work was good clearly qualified as ive had issues for years. They can be a bit uncomfortable/tender so concentrating on relaxing. I was face down and hands by side palm. I felt something brush against me his bits thought wtf that embarrassing. Few mins later i was very conscious that it was most definitely his bits firmly in my hand for what seemed a long time but was probably no more than 2 mins. I froze as suddenly second guessing what im feeling. He continued to work on back and waa talking generally i threw in references to husband but basically just ignored. No other issues throughout. This is weird been thinking this morning this couldnt have been an accident twice? Surely? A google online broight this up ill try and upload but it’s exactly what happened. Has anyone else had this? Are there any physios on here? Is this innocent? Im atcually fine but has made me think how vunerable i could have been. I had a male physio for 7 years and this never happened before.

I’m sorry this happened OP, how awful. As well as reporting to the police, please do report it to the General Osteopathic Council. If he’s advertising himself as a qualified osteopath they may also be able to investigate.

The police. It’s assault.

Trouble is that it is your word against his so he could feign innocence unless others have reported him in the past. I wouldn’t risk it myself.

You don’t have to say whether it was accidental or deliberate by the way - can just give them (the sports club, police and regulator) the facts.

Every person who doesn’t report something like this moves a predator nearer to a younger target who they do far worse things too.

When I have had to report stuff in the past I’ve done it to protect the future victims. (I once was the very young girl who was assaulted).

Hope you are ok OP

Not PH was it?
I’ve had several massages there all excellent apart from one, and a female staff member who was inappropriate in my eyes.

No

Well, who do you think you would report a sexual assault to? I would imagine, the police.

There have been recent cases where masseuses have been convicted for this.

If it was accidental that he genitals were resting in your hand for 2 minutes, then he needs to move in a different way around the table. I find it very difficult to understand how someone can be this unaware of their genitals to this extent. Not an accidental brushing for a split second, but resting there, 'a semi moving around'....

Please don't second guess yourself here, this is how they get away with it

I have had a lot of treatments for things over the years and this has never been part of the process. Trust your instincts OP.

@Purpl If it was actually his genitals, then it's intentional as no man would ever be oblivious to their genitals touching someone, given how sensitive those parts are.

I would ask the question though of how sure are you that it was actually what you think it was? Could it have been something in his pocket? I've been in situations lying on a bed with female nurses and female massage therapists working on me and, even though I was lying completely still, it felt like there was too much rubbing against me.

Sorry OP the euphemisms are making it hard to understand. Are you saying he squished his genitals against your hand/s, rather than adjust position so that there was no contact?

If he did this, then you should take it further with practice management as a starting point.

If you were face down are you sure it was his genitals, not top of leg or tummy?

How awful for you. I would err on the side of caution and not say anything but don’t go back there. Alternatively you could raise this with the sports club or Osteopathy Council and her ehe will be registered but it will be his word against yours 😔 Do you know any women he’s previously massaged and could you mention it?

I was 16 when a male massage therapist tried massaging higher and higher up my inner thighs. I have never been back to a male practitioner since.

Please report him to the police! Another massage therapist was jailed for doing this to women and luckily they reported him to the police

That's terrible advice.
While I understand it would be a way in an ideal world, this could make OP's life seriously harder.

OP, If you decide to go to the police, maybe you could check with a solicitor/charity who supports victims first to get support in the process.

This happened to me but unfortunately I could feel that he was fully aroused. He was self employed so I just stopped having him. I've since just found out that he's been arrested and charged with sexual assault and three further women have come forward. I wish I had said something at the time in light of what's continued to happen but when someone is self employed what can you do.

I once had similar happen during a blood test at my local hospital. I was sat in the armchair with my arm stretched out, when the man doing it approached. He was a weird looking, scruffy man and he never spoke one word to me. I shut my eyes as he inserted the needle and next thing, I felt his genitals pressing onto my hand. I opened my eyes and he was leaning over me, straddling the arm of the chair my hand was resting on, he basically had my hand trapped between his legs. I was so shocked and couldn't quite believe what was happening, that I just left quickly after he'd taken blood. It was a few years ago and at the time I was feeling very ill with a possible life threatening condition (which thankfully the blood test showed I didn't have). If I hadn't been so sick I would have challenged him there and then but I felt so shaken up and I'd been sent there as an urgent case, that I just wanted to get out of the place. I told my friend who'd accompanied me and had waited outside but she seemed to brush it off as my imagination. Everyone at home was only interested in my results and no one seemed to be listening to me when I told them what he did, then I was so relieved when my tests were clear that I just tried to put it to the back of my mind. Reading this has confirmed to me that these things do actually happen and I believe now that I was assaulted and it wasn't accidental.

Please report this to The General Osteopathic Council. This is sadly all too common and he breeches his regulators standards. The fake accidental inappropriate touching is a method used to make you doubt something happened. I can guarantee he is doing this to other women and is targeting women who he is guessing are unlikely to report him.

I found the link for those asking https://benbenjamin.com/make-pelvic-contact-with-the-clients-head-or-body/

I'm so sorry you experienced this OP.

One of my exes had a similar experience with a chiropractor. Not even with genitals, but saying he needed to work on her chest, which she found odd. But she got along well with him and told herself she was being paranoid, so she didn't report it.

Years later, she got a call from the police. Apparently he'd assaulted 30+ female clients, including young girls. The assaults were more subtle with the older women, worse with the young girls who I guess he knew wouldn't be as clued up. He ran a big, popular practice with hundreds of 5* reviews. He tried to flee the country but was found, and now he's now in prison.

If my ex had reported it, she may have prevented him doing these things to young girls. And if someone else had reported him sooner, it might have prevented him doing it to my ex.

I've never been to an osteopath, but I do get a lot of tattoos, which is obviously all intimate, body to body contact, in the zone type stuff, for hours on end, and you get quite comfortable with each other. Yet every artist I've had has been very aware when inappropriate body parts are touching, and they always apologise and slightly shift away, as you would expect. So I just can't imagine him not being aware.

If it were me, I would reach out to whatever the professional body is for osteopaths and seek advice. Just tell them what you've told us and go from there.

Was it NW area? Because the police are still hearing from people and it’s worth reporting

You're thread title is minimizing this - it should read "I've just been sexually assaulted"...

OP said he’s a qualified osteopath so the General Osteopathic Council. It’s the UK regulatory body, all osteopaths have to be registered with them to practice and they investigate complaints.

OP, as a complementary therapist myself, I’m horrified by this. Please make a report. He can’t be allowed to get away with this kind of revolting behaviour.