Inappropriate deep tissue massage

[Purpl]

Yesterday had a deep tissue massage by qualified osteopath. Attached to a sports club. Looks after the team given the sport anticpate is mainly male. Anyway he was a youngish male & im not young. I had trousers on as working on neck shoulders back. All very professional and work was good clearly qualified as ive had issues for years. They can be a bit uncomfortable/tender so concentrating on relaxing. I was face down and hands by side palm. I felt something brush against me his bits thought wtf that embarrassing. Few mins later i was very conscious that it was most definitely his bits firmly in my hand for what seemed a long time but was probably no more than 2 mins. I froze as suddenly second guessing what im feeling. He continued to work on back and waa talking generally i threw in references to husband but basically just ignored. No other issues throughout. This is weird been thinking this morning this couldnt have been an accident twice? Surely? A google online broight this up ill try and upload but it’s exactly what happened. Has anyone else had this? Are there any physios on here? Is this innocent? Im atcually fine but has made me think how vunerable i could have been. I had a male physio for 7 years and this never happened before.

Yes it was x

PM me if you like but it’s worth ringing 101. You don’t have to give a statement but the more reports the better and they’ve been really good with me

The pervs and misogynists on Mnet. There are more of them than you think.

YANBU @Purpl. You were sexually assaulted.

Are you a male? You say you've had extensive experience, do you mean as a client or practitioner?

Police. Google review.

I laughed out loud when i saw the link. Surely that isnt serious.

Maybe you could frame it as 'feedback' as it was clearly inappropriate and made you feel uncomfortable. But there is also a slight possibility that it was accidental and you are hesitant to report.

By providing this feedback and if other people have reported similar experiences, it could be taken further. But if it was an accident, then he might be more mindful not to put his penis in any future clients hands.

I would report to.police.

I wouldn't. But definitely the sports club and osteopath association.

He really put it on your hand? That is awful! I'd have been inclined to dig my nails into it and make him yell but - probably would have frozen.

I did have a similar experience years ago, not quite as bad as that but pretty offensive. I could do nothing because I had no proof, it was just him and me in the room at the time, but I did cancel any further appointments and refused to speak to the staff when they rang.

I daresay you don't have proof so it is up to you whether or not you report the man - but tell someone, just to register that it happened. It's likely to happen again to somebody else (I presume you won't go back), and if they make a formal complaint you can back them.

I have regular back, neck and shoulder massages for ongoing issues. Never once have my arms been on the table, I'm told to drop my arms over the side of the massage table, so they're hanging towards the floor.

Once may have been a mistake, several times is not. There's no way he didn't realise

At the very least I'd be emailing them (so its on record) saying that their genitals were resting on your hand during the massage and it made you feel uncomfortable. And you want them to know so they can avoid it for future clients.

That way if you ever did want to pursue it you have written it down on record, and at if they really were unaware, they know now.

It's not a good massage if boundaries have been crossed and you felt his genitals on your hands.

I would raise a complaint and book a next massage, if you have to have one, with a female. Problem solved. If you go back and allow him to massage you again after this experience then that's a you problem. A massage shouldn't be making you question what part of the masseuse's anatomy was rubbing on yout hands. That's weird and inappropriate.

Why would you not just move your hands?

It’s really normal, and involuntary, to freeze when this kind of thing happens.

predators rely on this.

I’m really sorry this happened to you. I think reporting it to the club and/ or his professional body is a good idea, if you feel up to it. As pp have said you don’t have to decide whether it was deliberate or accidental, you can report what happened without speculating on that.

That’s awful I’m so sorry.

I was sexually assaulted by a GP when I was 17.

it’s horrible that we have to consider that people we are going to for medical help, and who we think of as trustworthy professionals, may be predators.

Good grief! I’m sorry you went through that. I had an osteopath for years until he retired 😢 and he was nothing but respectful. And have had Turkish massage where the lady receptionist was the chaperone (mainly for language). That is awful and you were in such a vulnerable position lay down like that xx

This happened to me as a young woman abroad in a strange country, in a bookshop, he came up behind me and lightly pushed into me, I was naive and thought I’d imagined it, that I was being silly, that he couldn’t possibly, I was arguing with myself in my head, saying Caitlin get a grip on yourself, he had moved on, but he came back without my noticing and did it again. Then I knew, I was mortified, had no idea what to do, so I left immediately.

If I were the OP a short factual non accusatory email to management and his professional body. That way it’s there so that when he takes further and the next woman complains they know he’s an opportunistic predator.

Ladies, always trust your instincts.

I'm sorry this happened to you OP.
You were in a vulnerable position, undressed and alone with a man you trusted and he absolutely took advantage of that situation.
Every man knows where his dick is 😡.
Like many predators, he's hiding in plain sight isn't he.
There was a "massage therapist" local to me who called himself a physiotherapist and wore their uniform with their crest embroidered on, he was not a physio and actually had no qualifications at all. It is against the law to use these professional titles if you are not registered.

So that's another offence you could possibly report him to the police for, as well as the sexual assault.

Yes to all. Worked in clinics and as a lone practitioner as well as being on the receiving end of many massages.

I’m sorry to hear that - it was in Berkshire and the offender had worked elsewhere but not Surrey (at least not reported after he was found guilty).

Thank you for all your replies. I had a reply from the the person i know vaguely overnight. She knows of him very well as he treated a male relative of hers extensively and raved about what a decent and highly qualified person he was. That makes it worse in some respects as I don’t feel able to disclose to her what happened and clearly her review is based on a male client not herself. To be honest as various therapists on here have said very very least he should have taken more care. I am going to report it to head coach although he is male and point out that the club has female teams and kids clubs. I would ecpect that kids would have parent in room with them though. But a young 18 year old wouldnt.
I am also going to report to osteopath body in a non judgmental way that will be in writing. I would hope that if im not first complaint or future complaints it will build a case.
re the police I just dont want to. Of course if either respond to me that other concerns have been raised then I will.

I was also sexually assaulted by a doctor when I went for a kidney check up. I was early twenties.

He told me to lie on the trolley on my side and remove lower clothing and push my t-short up so he could palpate the kidney area. Which he did, for a bit, and then without warning, inserted his finger into my anus. I was completely shocked and froze. He then calmly told me to get off the trolley to get my blood pressure done. I remember him saying it was quite high and me replying something like "well no wonder" but that was all I could say. I'd been having kidney problems from the age of four including many operations and no one had ever done this before. But there's always the worry that you're mistaken, this is perfectly normal, after all he's supposed to be the expert and you trust them.

My mum worked in the same hospital, the head of the renal department was her friend and there was an investigation. I cannot for the life of me remember the outcome, and other than an initial report, I don't recall anyone else speaking to me about it. I blanked it out for years and it didn't hit me that it was a sexual assault until years later when I told a GP friend who was rightly horrified. I know I felt violated.

I am sorry to hear this happened to you OP. I would never go to a male massage therapist as I wouldn't be comfortable with it. Recently I was looking at the Thames Lido in Reading and thinking about going for a swim and massage but saw that you can't request a female therapist when you book, you have to phone them up which is a hassle. I think you should be allocated a same sex therapist as a matter of course and tell them if you don't want that. So I might just go for a swim and get the massage with my normal sports massage lady!