Dads using female communal changing room

[Strawberrryfields]

Not sure how I feel about this so looking for opinions and whether I should do anything.

A couple of times recently I’ve been changing my child after swimming and a dad has come in to change his child in the communal female changing room. It’s after lessons so only children changing. There are communal female, communal male and a number of individual cubicles. It gets very busy at peak times so at times you may need to wait for an individual cubicle.

It feels weird to me a grown man being in there and my instinct is that he should use the private cubicles, though he is clearly there with his child helping them get ready. I also understand him not wanting to take his child into the men’s communal changing rooms with random men in there but to me, he is a random man.

Should I say something? Would you? Chances are it’s just a normal dad changing his kid but I don’t feel entirely comfortable with it but not sure if IABU?

It doesn’t matter! Any child over 8 should not be changing in presence of random adults of opposite sex.

@Taztoy claimed that everyone who is not female must be male. And that's just an oversimplification as it completely ignores intersex. Albeit rare, it exists and thus can't really be ignored.

Various posters told me that this is wrong - but no one has so far been able to explain how they would define male. I'm not quite sure what VSD (if you indeed mean ventricular septal defect) has to do with this.

I see the MRA is still banging on then

some men really don't like ti be told no or that they're wrong do they

Called it! You were that crass and ignorant. Bingo card filled. So if every human im earth is either make or female what sex are “intersex”people? You’ve basically called them inhuman!! Wow! You do know every DSD affects either make or female people, no DSD affects both sexes? If you don’t know what a VSD is, (Variation of sexual development) , which used to be known as “intersex” before it was realised that that word was offensive and dehumanising, then why the hell are you trying to claim that just because people with a VSD exist, no one knows what a mle or female is you great lumping wazzock?

I agree with that. Rereading the OP's posts, I see they were also talking about girls up to 11. I thought that they were referring to only very young children.

I would ask any man in a woman’s changing room if they were accidentally in the wrong one. If they said no I’d ask them if they were a pervert and a paedophile as why else would they want to be in a room with naked unrelated girls. They need to take their daughters in the male changing rooms and find a cubicle in there.

so currently they don’t want their young daughter to see an unrelated naked man, but they as adult males are happy to see naked unrelated girls. Can they really not see how fucked up that is?

my dad used to take me in the male changing rooms when I was little. I don’t ever recall seeing a willy as we walked through the communal part on the way to the cubicles.

As I’ve already said in earlier posts, I don’t disagree with that statement in itself. But I disagree with how limited it is. Why only children over 8? Why only adults of the opposite sex? I’ve said it all above so won’t repeat it, but the answer is lots more cubicles and an end to this communal open rubbish as children should not be exposed to any unrelated adults when changing (or at least not forced to be by a lack of cubicles).

100% this. Adult women shouldn’t be in the mens changing rooms either. Small boys can go in the women’s changing rooms and boys over 8yo can get themselves dressed if no special needs.

It’s very much about dignity as well. The gym I go to is communal changing rooms and I’m sick of older boys being in there. I don’t want an 12yo staring at my boobs. My friends Dd is 11yo and was stripping off and a boy from her class came in with his mum! Who seemed to think there was nothing wrong with this.

This happened to me many years ago when I used to take my boys swimming. We were in the female changing room (as the boys were well under 8 years which is the limit to be in the opposite sex room). There were also naked women too as the pensioner swim was just ending. A man walked in with his
little girl and a load of women basically screamed at him to get out. I felt a bit sorry for him as I think he genuinely had no idea but he should not have been there. Once my boys turned 8 they went into the male changing rooms and I waited outside.

I don't understand how people find it offensive when they are taken seriously and challenged based on what they say? Either one engages in a discussion and accepts disagreement - or one should really stay out of it.

Challenging someone and then feeling upset and offended when they accept the challenge is very poor style.

@Taztoy @RedToothBrush and @oldtiredcyclist decided they have to challenge me - that's fine. But feeling upset when the challenge is accepted is an odd approach (unless of course they just play to a gullible audience).

Please, tell me where I am wrong, and I'm more than happy to concede.

are they helping a girl change or a boy? If a girl, maybe he doesn’t feel comfortable changing his daughter in a room full of men and boys? The same way you feel uncomfortable?

So why does he get to make multiple females uncomfortable? Do the feelings of one man really take priority over multiple women and girls.

he has a choice. He either goes in the men’s or doesn’t go at all. Either his dd doesn’t swim or changes on her own. But by walking into a room of females he’s taking away their choice to not be naked in front of a stranger

Then he takes his daughter into family changing.

Because he doesn’t get to override my lack of consent.

the word is no.

Where did I call anyone inhuman?

please provide the screenshot for that statement you just made.

thanks.

@Namelessnelly said: "So if every human im earth is either make or female what sex are “intersex”people? You’ve basically called them inhuman!!"

@Taztoy has claimed that everyone who is not female is male.

So clearly, it was really you to whom @Namelessnelly was referring, because I never made this claim.

Please supply the screenshot for the claim that I called ANYONE inhuman.

thank you.

but @taztoy is right. Any human on earth who isn't female is male. There are only two sexes. You then mentioned that “intersex” people exist. Are you claiming people with a VSD are not male or female? Are you saying they are some third sex? Really? Youre even more of a wazzock than it appears

But what about the girls having to change in front of a man, or do their feelings not count?

I’m not saying I agree with it, I would find it strange too. I’m just trying to help see the reason he is taking his child in there.

He’s not allowed. I’m entitled to a single sex space. He finds somewhere else.

In that case, you need a clear definition of what is male and what is female. So please tell me what requirements you would use? Genes? Are not always expressed. Anatomy? Gametes? There are always exceptions.

How do you know you have a daughter?

I'm guessing that you spend a long time considering the possibilities, thought about gametes, anatomy and genes before coming to this conclusion.

Or not. Because she's your imaginary daughter.

I’d ask your parents. I mean, I’m not saying they’ve failed you if you can’t tell the difference between a male and a female but…. Have you considered remedial classes? Or I hear there’s some really good basic biology classes online. Maybe give those a go?

Given he's also apparently taught 'developmental biology some time ago' and thinks he's smarter than Robert Winston, Id be questioning who ever taught him and whatever he's taught never mind what his parents taught him.