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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

This horrid little man

148 replies

Lovelycupofcoffee · 23/12/2025 10:51

So almost a year ago I asked a local painter and decorator to come and quote for some work . Ever since then he’s been sending unwanted messages and recently other unwanted images ( you know what I mean 🤣) . I’ve blocked him numerous times but he must have 2 phones as a few weeks later the calls and messages start again . He’s definitely married or has a partner . If he contacts me again would you tell him you will report for stalking ? I’d rather he just sods off but I know he will be back as I think he probably does this quite a lot 😕

OP posts:
LadyTable · 23/12/2025 12:02

Lovelycupofcoffee · 23/12/2025 11:14

I’m not sure why I put up with it this long . He goes quiet for ages then comes back . Its not at all funny and as I live on my own it’s bloody scarey.

Edited

You said he's got 2 phones, so you blocked them both immediately?

I can't get over him telling you he's going away for Christmas if you've never replied to any of his messages?

Yes, report him and if by "and recently other unwanted images ( you know what I mean 🤣)"

You mean he indecently exposed himself to you, how is this sexual offence funny?

Mikart · 23/12/2025 12:03

Can you leave a review on local FB group?

Original poster
Lovelycupofcoffee · 23/12/2025 12:06

@Mikart I’m just going to move on and ignore him . The police said if he has any further contact to call them again . Scummy little man 🤢🤮

OP posts:
Dollybantree · 23/12/2025 12:08

If that were me I’d report him to the police no question. He’s preying on you bc he knows you live alone - sick pervert.

Original poster
Lovelycupofcoffee · 23/12/2025 12:09

@LadyTable on the last message he sent me he kept asking to come round , I didn’t reply but he then sent another message saying it wouldn’t be until early Jan as he’s away for Xmas . Again I ignored him .

OP posts:
PuggyPuggyPuggy · 23/12/2025 12:11

I’ve blocked him numerous times but he must have 2 phones as a few weeks later the calls and messages start again

How can he start again if you have blocked him? Are you periodically unblocking for some reason?

Evaka · 23/12/2025 12:12

This is insane. A random man you once contracted to work for you has been sending you pics of his erect penis? He's a sex offender, well done for reporting to the police. He's a dangerous person.

Untailored · 23/12/2025 12:12

Something very odd about all this.

ForeverPombear · 23/12/2025 12:13

Why do you keep unblocking him?

Catwalking · 23/12/2025 12:14

Mikart · 23/12/2025 12:03

Can you leave a review on local FB group?

Nasty nasty ‘man’, these ‘things’ don’t get better on their own he needs to stop, imho.
I was about to suggest same, I bet OP isn’t the only woman he’s done this to.

DeftWasp · 23/12/2025 12:17

Lovelycupofcoffee · 23/12/2025 10:51

So almost a year ago I asked a local painter and decorator to come and quote for some work . Ever since then he’s been sending unwanted messages and recently other unwanted images ( you know what I mean 🤣) . I’ve blocked him numerous times but he must have 2 phones as a few weeks later the calls and messages start again . He’s definitely married or has a partner . If he contacts me again would you tell him you will report for stalking ? I’d rather he just sods off but I know he will be back as I think he probably does this quite a lot 😕

This is a clear case of harassment, you should report him to the police.

DoneWithMen · 23/12/2025 12:18

I had this happen anonymously and it turned out to be the parent of a 7 year old student in my class. 😒

Andrasa · 23/12/2025 12:19

Unethical but whenever I got unwanted pics I found some online of a middle aged overweight naked bloke and sent them back.

NoisyViewer · 23/12/2025 12:22

Nope all wrong he’s a weirdo. If you don’t want to involve the police I suggest you do I’d threaten to post the images to the local area social media page warning others of his predatory behaviour.

Original poster
Lovelycupofcoffee · 23/12/2025 12:22

@Untailored why do you feel there is something odd ? I agree I should have reported him sooner but not sure what you mean ?

OP posts:
Original poster
Lovelycupofcoffee · 23/12/2025 12:24

@ForeverPombear im not unblocking him and obviously he has a work phone and a private phone ?

OP posts:
Genuinelyenquiring · 23/12/2025 12:25

B1anche · 23/12/2025 10:57

I can't believe you find it amusing. For fucks sake, no wonder men get away with this shit. If he has been sending you pictures of his penis, report it to the police...NOW. Don't wait for him to do it again.

Stop victim blaming.

Genuinelyenquiring · 23/12/2025 12:25

Report. The police take this seriously in my experience.

BoxesBoxesEverywhere · 23/12/2025 12:25

B1anche · 23/12/2025 11:12

Crikey that was quick.

Show quote history

6 minutes from saying they're going to report to saying they've called, it's done and reported - yes very quick!

Terrytheweasel · 23/12/2025 12:28

Do you live in London - is he polish? I know it doesn’t narrow it down a lot but this happened to a friend of mine and it was very upsetting. He started sending things in the post and following her about.

Hummusanddipdip · 23/12/2025 12:29

A plumber did this, as in inappropriate messages, no images.

I sent him a message saying I was blocking him and any coms about boiler/general plumbing needed to go through dh... He lost 4 different households businesses after that, which is sad because until then he'd been a decent bloke and he had been dh parents plumber for years and also did bits for sil and also my parents. After the messages, none of us use him anymore.

ShiningSummit · 23/12/2025 12:32

Ask the police if they can sweep bedroom and bathroom for recording devices if there is any possibility he entered them, however briefly. If they won't then pay privately, if you can afford it.

Much more common than we would like to think.

Sunflowers888 · 23/12/2025 12:32

I reported someone to the police for this. The Police took is seriously and although it took a while, he got a caution (an outcome I agreed to). I didn’t have any evidence because he deleted the photo and I was worried about going to the police but I’m pleased I did.

Awwlookatmybabyspider · 23/12/2025 12:38

if it were me I’d be tempted to reply. My dogs bo**packs are bigger than that and she’s a girl. 🤣
Probably the best route is to actually report it though and keep it serious

AngelicKaty · 23/12/2025 12:38

Lovelycupofcoffee · 23/12/2025 12:24

@ForeverPombear im not unblocking him and obviously he has a work phone and a private phone ?

I agree with @PuggyPuggyPuggy , @Untailored and @ForeverPombear - their comments are entirely reasonable.
My first thought when I read your OP 'was why does she have to block him numerous times?' You suggest he has two phones - so you should only have to block him twice - once for his work phone and once for his private phone. Job done. This is how blocking works i.e. you block the number that the calls and messages are coming from. As long as you keep it blocked, you get no more messages or calls from it. So, if messages continue to get through to you, either you are unblocking his two numbers, or he has access to multiple numbers (for you to have to block him numerous times) - which is it OP?
If this man genuinely exists, his behaviour is reprehensible and he absolutely deserves reporting to the police, but I can see why PPs are doubting your story because it doesn't quite make sense.