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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Husband told my sister to ‘fucking grow up’

391 replies

HusSisargument · 21/12/2025 16:34

I’m stuck in the middle over something which happened last night. Myself and DH met up with my Dsis and her partner for a dinner in a local restaurant.

The service was a bit slow and DH was getting a bit fed up/hangry. When it eventually came out, everything was placed into the middle for us to share out (think Chinese/thai type meal).

DH immediately started serving items on to his plate and my Dsis basically asked him to stop so she could get a video. He asked why and she said so she could upload on her to her social media. He then said the fucking grow up comment and there was an awkward atmosphere.

DH hasn’t apologised and I’ve had a shitty text off Dsis today. Luckily we aren’t spending Christmas together.

I absolutely think DH was in the wrong but he’s protesting his innocence and said having waited long enough for the food to arrive he shouldn’t have been told he couldn’t eat it.

OP posts:
GETTINGLIKEMYMOTHER · 21/12/2025 17:01

XWKD · 21/12/2025 16:41

Team DH here.

Me too.

Snorlaxo · 21/12/2025 17:01

Your dh is right. If your sis was 13 then I’d expect him to be a bit more considerate but your sis is unreasonable to expect people to wait for a video to be taken.

Did she announce the video intention before the meal? I would expect that as a minimum and for her to back down in situations like last night when people were hangry.

They both owe an apology - especially your sister who does need to grow up. Has she done this before? How long does it take her to record the meal before everyone eats?

HappyFace2025 · 21/12/2025 17:02

Upsetbetty · 21/12/2025 16:36

I’m with your dh sorry. Fuck that.

Same here. Your DSis was very rude to want to video the meal when you had been waiting for the food to arrive. DH slightly over reacted but how old is DSis???

shhblackbag · 21/12/2025 17:02

Nah, she really does need to grow up. Why should he apologise? I absolutely wouldn't have.

pinkyredrose · 21/12/2025 17:02

Team Husband here. Why the fuck should he wait for his food when he's hungry because she wants to piss about taking videos!

grinchmcgrinchface · 21/12/2025 17:04

Fuck that. Hes right.

Pineappleice43 · 21/12/2025 17:04

33? I thought you were going to say 17.

Yeah I'm with your DH on this one

Elmspringwater · 21/12/2025 17:04

Im team husban.
I said the same to my own sister kid once, she was 17 at the time.
I cant stand people that do this i want to eat my food not take pitchers and videos off it.

People have to post everything, they will post their own shit next, oh wait that happens on MN.

BettysRoasties · 21/12/2025 17:04

Team dh.

If she wants to take photos or worse videos of the food she needs to order her own plate not expect others to let their food get cold for her own ego posting.

So yes she needs to grow up and adult.

butterdish93 · 21/12/2025 17:04

No. He was rude, regardless of if she was being slightly annoying. It’s not ok to speak to anyone, let alone family like that. I couldn’t be around people like that

AdjustingVideoFrameRate · 21/12/2025 17:04

I’ve just seen the sister is 33! I was expecting teens or early 20s.
33 is way too old for this videoing food nonsense.

AbbaCadaBra · 21/12/2025 17:06

I guess he was hangry.

Dollymylove · 21/12/2025 17:06

Im on team DH but I dont think he should have sworn

shhblackbag · 21/12/2025 17:06

Why do you think he's "absolutely in the wrong"?

This is some Instagram nonsense.

JoshLymanSwagger · 21/12/2025 17:06

@HusSisargument why the fuck did she need to video food??

She can post a photo of empty plates at the end, or maybe eat cold food on her own.

Your sister owes your OH an apology.

Purplewarrior · 21/12/2025 17:06

Yeah #TeamDH

ThereAreOnlyShadesOfGrey · 21/12/2025 17:07

I find it incredible that on a site where posters randomly refer to people as fucking cunts and wankers and god knows what else they seem to feel the need to think it’s offensive to actually utter any of that kind of language to actual people.

Someone who is taking pictures of food for her social media isn’t a first time offender. This will be a habit, and the DH has probably been putting up with it for years, and this was probably a last straw moment when he snapped.

I am 100% this isn’t the first time she’s inconvenienced people in the name of insta.

berlinbaby2025 · 21/12/2025 17:07

The polite thing would have been not to say anything during the meal, for you or him to explain to your sister (one to one) this kind of videoing was inappropriate.

Is he always such a rude oaf?

Elmspringwater · 21/12/2025 17:07

Dollymylove · 21/12/2025 17:06

Im on team DH but I dont think he should have sworn

She`s a grown woman 33 im sure she heard the words before.

HappyFace2025 · 21/12/2025 17:07

HappyFace2025 · 21/12/2025 17:02

Same here. Your DSis was very rude to want to video the meal when you had been waiting for the food to arrive. DH slightly over reacted but how old is DSis???

Show quote history

Just seen DSis is 33. Your DH was right in what he said!

Loobeeloo13 · 21/12/2025 17:08

Applespearsandpeaches · 21/12/2025 16:38

I think they’re both wrong. Your DH for being quite so aggressive in his choice of language and your sister for being obnoxious wanting to take a video of the shared food for social media (unless she was being paid as an influencer to post an advert of it). I’d expect both to apologise to each other and then I’d probably avoid any further joint meals for a while.

If sister is an influencer then I’m even more on DH’s side… unless it’s a free meal as a perk of that…

DahlsChickenz · 21/12/2025 17:08

Both are unreasonable. Your DH was rude but your sister was being annoying about social media, which a lot of people just don't care about and don't want intruding in their lives. She can film her own meal but shouldn't interfere with others.

But equally, your DH didn't need to be a dick.

I'd tell them you think they're both as bad as each other and aren't getting involved.

Maybeitllneverhappen · 21/12/2025 17:09

Also on DH side. He was a bit rude/could have phrased it better, but I hate people who prioritise social media over everything. She does need to grow up.

HelpMeGetThrough · 21/12/2025 17:09

I’m with your husband, an adult videoing food is definitely worthy of being told to grow the fuck up.

Tdcp · 21/12/2025 17:09

He shouldn't have said that but your sister was being a twit.