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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Husband told my sister to ‘fucking grow up’

391 replies

HusSisargument · 21/12/2025 16:34

I’m stuck in the middle over something which happened last night. Myself and DH met up with my Dsis and her partner for a dinner in a local restaurant.

The service was a bit slow and DH was getting a bit fed up/hangry. When it eventually came out, everything was placed into the middle for us to share out (think Chinese/thai type meal).

DH immediately started serving items on to his plate and my Dsis basically asked him to stop so she could get a video. He asked why and she said so she could upload on her to her social media. He then said the fucking grow up comment and there was an awkward atmosphere.

DH hasn’t apologised and I’ve had a shitty text off Dsis today. Luckily we aren’t spending Christmas together.

I absolutely think DH was in the wrong but he’s protesting his innocence and said having waited long enough for the food to arrive he shouldn’t have been told he couldn’t eat it.

OP posts:
pouletvous · 21/12/2025 17:10

your sister needs to grow the fuck up

BillieWiper · 21/12/2025 17:10

Why does she need a video of a bunch of food sitting on a table. Why not take video of everyone serving themselves and eating if you're that obsessed?! So yeah she shouldn't have told him to stop. The comment he made was rude but fairly justified I'd say.

They should probably apologise to eachother just to clear the air but otherwise just assume it'll blow over. Loads of other people will probably do something mildly annoying between now and new year so it'll get forgotten soon enough I'm sure.

Staringintothevoid616 · 21/12/2025 17:10

I’m with your DH here -what the hell does your DSis want to achieve by telling hungry people not to eat so she can video food so people not there can look at it? Totally bizarre behaviour and she also needs to get a fucking grip.

JoshLymanSwagger · 21/12/2025 17:10

berlinbaby2025 · 21/12/2025 17:07

The polite thing would have been not to say anything during the meal, for you or him to explain to your sister (one to one) this kind of videoing was inappropriate.

Is he always such a rude oaf?

Surely you mean is SHE such a rude woman?

Posting a family meal on INSTA without consent?

She needs to grow up.

ShesTheAlbatross · 21/12/2025 17:10

I’m 100% with your DH here. “Grow the fuck up” is exactly what I’d want to say in that situation!

SamphiretheTervosaur · 21/12/2025 17:13

BitOutOfPractice · 21/12/2025 16:39

She was annoying but jeez he was rude and if my DP spoke to my Dsis like that I would be very unimpressed.

Conversely had my sister demanded nobody eat until she had her social media fix my DH wouldn't have been the one to tell her to grow up... its ludicrous

Pastit12 · 21/12/2025 17:14

I voted YANBU by mistake but actually I do think you are BU yes probably not a good move to swear at your sister but I’m also with your husband on this I would have been pretty annoyed also especially if I I was hungry

HisNibs · 21/12/2025 17:15

Team DH here. It's pretty rude of her to expect everyone to wait whilst she films some pointless video to bore everyone else to death with.

KKeiKo · 21/12/2025 17:15

He was spot on. Is your DSis incapable of understanding slow service, him being hangry, his desire to eat rather than wait for her to try to impress others online who she places before him? Indeed she does need to fucking grow up, apologise and stop the shitty messages.

Canonlythinkofthisone · 21/12/2025 17:16

Team DH all the way. I'd probably also have chucked her phone in the dim sum.
But I've no patience for this nonsense in people over the age of 16

Getdne · 21/12/2025 17:17

Your husband was a bit sharp but your sister is positively cringe.
SM her food at 33, bloody hell.
I wouldn't be impressed if I was hungry.
I would think telling me not to start to eat my food that I will be paying for, is cheeky.

Scout2016 · 21/12/2025 17:17

No need for the swear word but the sentiment is reasonable.

Does her social media use impact on things otherwise because if she's constantly doing photos and videos that would be really annoying.

IvyEvolveFree · 21/12/2025 17:17

I get the idea he’s not a very nice man generally. Things like getting hangry during the extended wait - I’d expect a grown adult man to be able to control himself even when he’s physically uncomfortable. His manners seem terrible in that he immediately started serving himself when the food arrived instead of serving others. And finally the way he spoke to your sister - I feel like he wouldn’t have spoken to another man in that way. Regardless of how you feel about instagramming food, his manners should have dictated his behaviour even if
privately he thought her a bit of a spanner.

kohlrabislaw · 21/12/2025 17:18

kohlrabislaw · 21/12/2025 17:17

your DH was right . I like this clip from Killing Eve…

Ok it won’t let me share but you know the one… Get a real life

redjeans28 · 21/12/2025 17:18

Your Dsis was incredibly rude and entitled. How dare she try to make people wait for their food, especially when they're so hungry.

Fixydodah · 21/12/2025 17:20

If I see an adult taking a photo or a video of their food, I think the same, grow up. The only exception is a birthday cake or a lavish afternoon tea. Team DH.

Charlize43 · 21/12/2025 17:20

I'm also with your DH.

Lamentingalways · 21/12/2025 17:21

Both in the wrong tbh. It’s ridiculous to expect him to wait when the food has taken ages but he could have said that he was really hungry in a nicer way. How long was the video she wanted to take? Why didn’t she just whip her phone out straight away? Surely it’s a 30 second job? Did he know she would want a video (got form) and thought he would be a bit peevish by getting stuck in quickly? Is he greedy? Because each dish would take a few seconds to pick up and replace which is bad form if he had a few dishes on his plate before anyone else. Either way I would just text her back to let her know that the argument was absolutely nothing to do with you and therefore you won’t be taking sides or falling out with anyone or asking anyone to apologise and that you don’t really want to hear about it again from either of them.

ItsameLuigi · 21/12/2025 17:22

Taking photos and videos is irritating but can be tolerable if it's only your food. If it's a shared meal it's absolutely not ok to make people wait

Vaxtable · 21/12/2025 17:22

Team dh

why is it so important that your sister is so sad she has to take photos to share on SM

no one cares!

DH was hungry, quite right he starts serving, you sister owes him an a
ology and you need to tell her to grow up,

Fascinate · 21/12/2025 17:23

Team DH. Food is for eating, not photo opportunities. I'd have told her to FO

Tekknonan · 21/12/2025 17:23

Good for him.

Thingsthatgo · 21/12/2025 17:24

I’m on DH’s side. Your sister should have realised that everyone was hungry, and that her social media is irrelevant to everyone else.

outerspacepotato · 21/12/2025 17:24

You were there to eat and the meal was served. Your sister tried to delay eating after being served to post it on her SM when people were hungry.

Your husband was not out of line. I would have been much more blunt.

That was an asshole move by your sister and she should apologize for being so fucking rude.